This has been long in the making.
So the last few weeks have been pretty intense. And by that I mean I am still exhausted even after getting an amazing nights sleep last night. Steph and I are sharing a room and I have to admit that it is quite the wonder. But that is beside my original point. I was up in the beautiful lovers state of Virginia; Virginia may be for lovers, but it sure didn't seem so. I was actually refreshed by its lacking in the area of human coupling - it was great to hang out with people without them wishing they were in the arms of their significant other instead of spending time with me. That didn't make it a perfect visit, though. My Nana had been in a rehab center for about 4 weeks and I went a few times to take her to her doctor's appointments. There is nothing like watching the woman who used to teach me how to color inside the lines go from the most mobile 86-year old to a depressed and inside herself woman. Alongside that, my Uncle's sister-in-law has been having difficulties that I am unable to discuss here because it'd be impolite to spread the stories of anothers life to people they don't know without their consent; long story short - she's dying because of the ineptitude of the hillbilly hospital she was sent to. That only adds to the support of my original point, which I have yet to reach.
Next on the horrid list is my friend Josh, whose story is so repulsive that I can't even go into it. It makes me cringe, though, just to have you know. And now his parents are facing the hardest times of their already painful life. The only thing battling the intensity of actually living in horrible times is watching helplessly and hopelessly. It's painful, yet in a different way. So disconnected, and yet I can feel it like its happening to me. I remember the life they're living and I wouldn't ask for it back to save my own life.
This battles for the most depressing LiveJournal entry I have ever written. My apologies.
And now I move on.
I have been in Florida for two days now and seen only my roommates. I'd call that a tragedy if I wasn't already painfully aware of how much I don't matter here in Florida. Don't write your condolences, I'm over it. I promise. The fact of the matter is that sometimes God places us in situations we don't understand, but that doesn't mean there isn't a point. Sometimes we just don't see it. We don't have to be happy to be succeeding, but I suppose having joy through it all would be nice. I'm fine being unhappy; its when I lose hope that I start regretting waking up in the morning. It's pretty exciting though because I'm reading this book by Max Lucado called A Gentle Thunder and it has been a very timely read. I bought the book on a whim while in Virginia and has definitely proven itself worth it. God is seriously faithful. Always with me, the big man is. I love that about Him. His inability to change is probably my favorite thing about Him. Yeah.
Moving on. Today was the craziest laziest day ever. I had a few million errands to run and most of them didn't turn out well. I ended up paying $222 for 2 books and getting my applications sent off to St. Petersburg College. I may go there because I get priority acceptence because my Mom is an employee of BayCare, one of their partners. If I go there and get a part-time job there, I'll go to school completely free. I'm still looking into Liberty, though; I haven't received anything but discouraging comments from anyone aside from Jeremy, though. I wish people believed in my ability to succeed. I may hate rules, but I did go to private Christian school for my entire life. I want to go to Nursing school and I will go wherever I get accepted. No. Matter. What.
My chiropractor offered to pay for me to go to PA school and then when I graduate he'd hire me for $35,000/year, but that isn't what I want to do. PLUS I would have to stay in Jacksonville until forever, which is not an option. The only way I'd stay in Jacksonville is if I got accepted to Nursing school here; God forbid.
On a more happy (yet painfully unexciting for you) note, I'm super excited about my 800-page Medical Terminology book. And there was no sarcasm there. I really am stoked about it. I'm so stoked that after I finish writing this extensive post, I'm going to go read some of it. It also came with 500 pre-made flashcards; my carpal tunnel will be clapping it's cartilaginous hands, I swear it.
As for now, Stephanie and I are having Tropical Smoothies, as made by the wonderful Brandi and they are delish - I do not lie. After I read some of my MedTerm book we are going to start cracking on Season Two of House, MD. I need to finish up the 2nd season before next Tuesday when the 3rd Season begins.
Amazing. As are you.
xoxo.
P.S. - My original point = life sucks sometimes, but chances are there is someone out there hurting more than you are. But the good news is God gives us everything we need to make it through. "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. John 14:1"
Next on the horrid list is my friend Josh, whose story is so repulsive that I can't even go into it. It makes me cringe, though, just to have you know. And now his parents are facing the hardest times of their already painful life. The only thing battling the intensity of actually living in horrible times is watching helplessly and hopelessly. It's painful, yet in a different way. So disconnected, and yet I can feel it like its happening to me. I remember the life they're living and I wouldn't ask for it back to save my own life.
This battles for the most depressing LiveJournal entry I have ever written. My apologies.
And now I move on.
I have been in Florida for two days now and seen only my roommates. I'd call that a tragedy if I wasn't already painfully aware of how much I don't matter here in Florida. Don't write your condolences, I'm over it. I promise. The fact of the matter is that sometimes God places us in situations we don't understand, but that doesn't mean there isn't a point. Sometimes we just don't see it. We don't have to be happy to be succeeding, but I suppose having joy through it all would be nice. I'm fine being unhappy; its when I lose hope that I start regretting waking up in the morning. It's pretty exciting though because I'm reading this book by Max Lucado called A Gentle Thunder and it has been a very timely read. I bought the book on a whim while in Virginia and has definitely proven itself worth it. God is seriously faithful. Always with me, the big man is. I love that about Him. His inability to change is probably my favorite thing about Him. Yeah.
Moving on. Today was the craziest laziest day ever. I had a few million errands to run and most of them didn't turn out well. I ended up paying $222 for 2 books and getting my applications sent off to St. Petersburg College. I may go there because I get priority acceptence because my Mom is an employee of BayCare, one of their partners. If I go there and get a part-time job there, I'll go to school completely free. I'm still looking into Liberty, though; I haven't received anything but discouraging comments from anyone aside from Jeremy, though. I wish people believed in my ability to succeed. I may hate rules, but I did go to private Christian school for my entire life. I want to go to Nursing school and I will go wherever I get accepted. No. Matter. What.
My chiropractor offered to pay for me to go to PA school and then when I graduate he'd hire me for $35,000/year, but that isn't what I want to do. PLUS I would have to stay in Jacksonville until forever, which is not an option. The only way I'd stay in Jacksonville is if I got accepted to Nursing school here; God forbid.
On a more happy (yet painfully unexciting for you) note, I'm super excited about my 800-page Medical Terminology book. And there was no sarcasm there. I really am stoked about it. I'm so stoked that after I finish writing this extensive post, I'm going to go read some of it. It also came with 500 pre-made flashcards; my carpal tunnel will be clapping it's cartilaginous hands, I swear it.
As for now, Stephanie and I are having Tropical Smoothies, as made by the wonderful Brandi and they are delish - I do not lie. After I read some of my MedTerm book we are going to start cracking on Season Two of House, MD. I need to finish up the 2nd season before next Tuesday when the 3rd Season begins.
Amazing. As are you.
xoxo.
P.S. - My original point = life sucks sometimes, but chances are there is someone out there hurting more than you are. But the good news is God gives us everything we need to make it through. "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. John 14:1"