Thinking
I was thinking as I was scalding my skin in the shower, tonight. The water wasn't hot enough, either.
But as I was saying...
I was thinking about my life. I've come to the conclusion that I am sick of trying to impress people I don't really even care about. I've been doing it for way too long and slowly I've been shedding my skin and becoming more and more the person I want to be, the person I am inside. I remember in high school, I wanted so badly to dress differently than everyone else, but I didn't because once or twice I tried and there was always someone to make a comment. Not a nice comment, but a degrading, nasty comment at that. It would make me cringe because who really wants to get made fun of? Not me. After those comments were made, I went back to blending in and being grey. I don't want to be grey. I want to be bright and fun. Hell, I AM bright and fun! I wore my boots yesterday again, with a skirt and my turquoise paisley blazer. It looked hot in my opinion. I was walking into the mall to buy my DCs and these three guys, around my age, were walking out and I heard one laugh and they made a comment about how I was dressed. You know what? Fuck that. I don't care, because you know if I were one of their whore girlfriends, that comment wouldn't have been made. Fuck you if I'm different. At least I'm not a fucking lemming. The thing that made me laugh the most was that the three guys were dressed in similar clothing, all from Hollister/Abercrombie/AE. How ironic to fit the cookie cutter "all American" persona in your cookie cutter clothing. Get fucked.
It's not all about clothing, either. It's just about being myself. I spend so much time watching what I say, how I say things, what I do and don't do, because I'm afraid of what people will say about me. I'm sick of it. I'm going to do what I want. Why should I have to tone down who I am to suit others' preconceptions? I'm done with it.
From now on, if I like it, I'll wear it. If I think it should be said, I'll say it. If I want to do it, I'll fucking do it. No one will hold me back.
By the way, I'm keeping this public for the sole purpose of having 1 public entry in this fucking journal.
I was also thinking in the shower, that the human race is such an interesting thing. I've been a myspace whore lately, and just reading profiles is enthralling. I'm intrigued by many a soul today.
But as I was saying...
I was thinking about my life. I've come to the conclusion that I am sick of trying to impress people I don't really even care about. I've been doing it for way too long and slowly I've been shedding my skin and becoming more and more the person I want to be, the person I am inside. I remember in high school, I wanted so badly to dress differently than everyone else, but I didn't because once or twice I tried and there was always someone to make a comment. Not a nice comment, but a degrading, nasty comment at that. It would make me cringe because who really wants to get made fun of? Not me. After those comments were made, I went back to blending in and being grey. I don't want to be grey. I want to be bright and fun. Hell, I AM bright and fun! I wore my boots yesterday again, with a skirt and my turquoise paisley blazer. It looked hot in my opinion. I was walking into the mall to buy my DCs and these three guys, around my age, were walking out and I heard one laugh and they made a comment about how I was dressed. You know what? Fuck that. I don't care, because you know if I were one of their whore girlfriends, that comment wouldn't have been made. Fuck you if I'm different. At least I'm not a fucking lemming. The thing that made me laugh the most was that the three guys were dressed in similar clothing, all from Hollister/Abercrombie/AE. How ironic to fit the cookie cutter "all American" persona in your cookie cutter clothing. Get fucked.
It's not all about clothing, either. It's just about being myself. I spend so much time watching what I say, how I say things, what I do and don't do, because I'm afraid of what people will say about me. I'm sick of it. I'm going to do what I want. Why should I have to tone down who I am to suit others' preconceptions? I'm done with it.
From now on, if I like it, I'll wear it. If I think it should be said, I'll say it. If I want to do it, I'll fucking do it. No one will hold me back.
By the way, I'm keeping this public for the sole purpose of having 1 public entry in this fucking journal.
I was also thinking in the shower, that the human race is such an interesting thing. I've been a myspace whore lately, and just reading profiles is enthralling. I'm intrigued by many a soul today.