[thoughts] vampire diaries 312
IMPORTANT QUESTION: Has it been answered if doppplegangers are EXACTLY identical? Like, we know Elena and Katherine share everything down to their flawless hair, but do they have the same allergies? The same fingerprints? Obviously they share the same ridiculous metabolism.
Stop having chemistry with your underage students Alaric, stop it right now. LISTEN TO ME, look at your life, look at your choices. Oh who am I kidding, I am eating up the inappropriate subtext of Alaric and Elena being thisclose to just getting married for real. ATTENTION PAGING HEAD MANAGER firthgal TO THE QUESTIONABLE RELATIONSHIP SUBTEXT SECTION.
How is no one in this town saying anything?!! I have yet to hear a teacher, a cop, another adult, Elena's friends, ANYONE say anything about Ric living alone with a minor, who is a girl, an orphan, niece of dead ex, daughter of other dead ex, AND her bro just got shipped out. All of these things separate are shady enough ffs Mystic Falls.
Bonnie as always is fucking flawless. She doesn't give her flop mom an inch. <- I'm lol'ing here because I do like Abby's character. I feel pity for her because most of the time *I* want Bonnie to run the hell away from Mystic Falls.
But yeah, I am so sorry about your show Kat Graham because you deserve so much better. WHY DIDN'T SHE GIVE STEFAN AN ANEYRISM WHEN HE WAS WHINING AT HER? God damn she is not your servant writers. Stop using her as a plot device. I was 75% rolling my eyes at two generations needed to open the coffin bit. I want to kill off Bonnie, and reboot the fail show that is the Secret Circle and have it star Kat Graham and Jessica Parker Kennedy as lesbian witches. Ahem.
BUT BONNIE PLEASE WORK ON RECHARGING ALARIC'S RING NEXT WEEK KTHX.
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All these white people for the 314 promos. This show. Can Bonnie just burn the whole place down. Obvsly she'd get her friends out (probably not Damon for lulz, until Elena begged), but then just BAMF all over these Originals and their family bull shit taking over her town?
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Could Damon be more jealous of Meredith. Honestly. I want to ship Damon/Alaric but I am too bitter the show will catch on and go NO HOMO like they have for EVERY SINGLE subtextual pairing. See: TYLER/JEREMY, ELENA/BONNIE, KLAUS/STEFAN. I have been fucking burned too many times show.
I fucking love serial killer Meredith. But since it's this show it's probably not her. BUT I WANT HER TO BE. For serious, a human serial killer is just the villain this incompetent town deserves (other than Stefan).
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Caroline's douche dick father actually died! But I'm still bitter because of fucking course the show made the only canon gay character an abusive father and then killed him off. Julie Plec I am side eying you like crazy.
HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO OFF HIMSELF OFF SCREEN (tho this would be shady as hell on jp had this gone down) TO SPARE HIS DAUGHTER THE TRAUMA OF DYING IN HER FUCKING BEDROOM. What an asshole.
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THE DINNER WAS CLEARLY ALL ABOUT KLAUS AND STEFAN AND THEIR COUPLES COUNSELING DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. Elijah and Damon totally ship it and the whole thing where Damon was trying to drag Stefan in and wear something nice screamed of it. Klaus only blew up because Stefan is being withholding. HE JUST WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU STEFAN.
But srsly damon FUCK YOU pulling how Stefan "losing Elena to Damon" because of Klaus was all Stefan's fault. Um if you hadn't been a dumb ass and got scratched Stefan wouldn't have had to sell his soul to save you Damon. God I hate this guy.
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Separately a lot of the scenes were ace, mostly the girls. REBEKAH MY QUEEN RETURNED. But I want to set about all these male assholes on fire. Except for Elijah because he doesn't resort to misogyny to make himself feel strong and then whine about it. Reserving judgement on the other Original bros for now. The way he talks about breeding the doppleganger line was misogynistic as fuck. How does anyone feel BAD for this guy? He deserves everything he gets.
Klaus is such a damn horrible villain. Shut up Klaus about killing Michael, Bonnie mom did that in a damn afternoon and didn't need no fucking dramatic party. I think I am just crossing into loving him so I can laugh at all his pain and all his scenes. "MOMMY THEY'RE ALL BEING MEAN TO ME!" And Esther? God. I have a huge ass feeling she's a lot colder and creepier than Mikael. All the kids looked absolutely terrified of her, and Mikael got bossed around by her too. I think "let's be a family again" is going to be even more claustrophobic and controlling than KLAUS' happily ever after design.
Stop having chemistry with your underage students Alaric, stop it right now. LISTEN TO ME, look at your life, look at your choices. Oh who am I kidding, I am eating up the inappropriate subtext of Alaric and Elena being thisclose to just getting married for real. ATTENTION PAGING HEAD MANAGER firthgal TO THE QUESTIONABLE RELATIONSHIP SUBTEXT SECTION.
How is no one in this town saying anything?!! I have yet to hear a teacher, a cop, another adult, Elena's friends, ANYONE say anything about Ric living alone with a minor, who is a girl, an orphan, niece of dead ex, daughter of other dead ex, AND her bro just got shipped out. All of these things separate are shady enough ffs Mystic Falls.
Bonnie as always is fucking flawless. She doesn't give her flop mom an inch. <- I'm lol'ing here because I do like Abby's character. I feel pity for her because most of the time *I* want Bonnie to run the hell away from Mystic Falls.
But yeah, I am so sorry about your show Kat Graham because you deserve so much better. WHY DIDN'T SHE GIVE STEFAN AN ANEYRISM WHEN HE WAS WHINING AT HER? God damn she is not your servant writers. Stop using her as a plot device. I was 75% rolling my eyes at two generations needed to open the coffin bit. I want to kill off Bonnie, and reboot the fail show that is the Secret Circle and have it star Kat Graham and Jessica Parker Kennedy as lesbian witches. Ahem.
BUT BONNIE PLEASE WORK ON RECHARGING ALARIC'S RING NEXT WEEK KTHX.
---
All these white people for the 314 promos. This show. Can Bonnie just burn the whole place down. Obvsly she'd get her friends out (probably not Damon for lulz, until Elena begged), but then just BAMF all over these Originals and their family bull shit taking over her town?
---
Could Damon be more jealous of Meredith. Honestly. I want to ship Damon/Alaric but I am too bitter the show will catch on and go NO HOMO like they have for EVERY SINGLE subtextual pairing. See: TYLER/JEREMY, ELENA/BONNIE, KLAUS/STEFAN. I have been fucking burned too many times show.
I fucking love serial killer Meredith. But since it's this show it's probably not her. BUT I WANT HER TO BE. For serious, a human serial killer is just the villain this incompetent town deserves (other than Stefan).
---
Caroline's douche dick father actually died! But I'm still bitter because of fucking course the show made the only canon gay character an abusive father and then killed him off. Julie Plec I am side eying you like crazy.
HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO OFF HIMSELF OFF SCREEN (tho this would be shady as hell on jp had this gone down) TO SPARE HIS DAUGHTER THE TRAUMA OF DYING IN HER FUCKING BEDROOM. What an asshole.
--
THE DINNER WAS CLEARLY ALL ABOUT KLAUS AND STEFAN AND THEIR COUPLES COUNSELING DO NOT TRY TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. Elijah and Damon totally ship it and the whole thing where Damon was trying to drag Stefan in and wear something nice screamed of it. Klaus only blew up because Stefan is being withholding. HE JUST WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU STEFAN.
But srsly damon FUCK YOU pulling how Stefan "losing Elena to Damon" because of Klaus was all Stefan's fault. Um if you hadn't been a dumb ass and got scratched Stefan wouldn't have had to sell his soul to save you Damon. God I hate this guy.
--
Separately a lot of the scenes were ace, mostly the girls. REBEKAH MY QUEEN RETURNED. But I want to set about all these male assholes on fire. Except for Elijah because he doesn't resort to misogyny to make himself feel strong and then whine about it. Reserving judgement on the other Original bros for now. The way he talks about breeding the doppleganger line was misogynistic as fuck. How does anyone feel BAD for this guy? He deserves everything he gets.
Klaus is such a damn horrible villain. Shut up Klaus about killing Michael, Bonnie mom did that in a damn afternoon and didn't need no fucking dramatic party. I think I am just crossing into loving him so I can laugh at all his pain and all his scenes. "MOMMY THEY'RE ALL BEING MEAN TO ME!" And Esther? God. I have a huge ass feeling she's a lot colder and creepier than Mikael. All the kids looked absolutely terrified of her, and Mikael got bossed around by her too. I think "let's be a family again" is going to be even more claustrophobic and controlling than KLAUS' happily ever after design.