counting down
It's the Tuesday before Surgery day.
I'm not overly stressed about the surgery, moreso about what I need to get done and if it will get done; and whether or not I've accounted for everything that needs to get done.
It doesn't help that this is a busy week, compounded by bad weather. Last night I was supposed to lead the Blood Moon Ritual for Coven. I wrote and prepped for the ritual; and of course haven't been sleeping well the last few nights so was exhausted even before going into it... but then Hurricane/Superstorm/Megastorm Sandy blew through town and a State of Emergency was issued for Monroe Cty... I was kind of happy that I was able to relax and recharge a little... but I was also kind of pissed off that I put all that work and stress into preparing the ritual; and ended up not leading it.
Tonight I have my last Referee practice until (if I'm lucky) February (maybe last week of January). Tomorrow we're having a potluck lunch at work so I have to make something (Chilled Zombie Brain Dip - Guacamole in a decoratively formed head of cauliflower) for that, then tomorrow night is Samhain-- starting around 10p and prob going until 1:30 or 2a.
I did take a 1/2 day on Thurs, so I'm only working in the afternoon; and when I get home I finish the last of my preparations; do laundry, make my bed, wash the last of the dishes, vacuum and straighten up the living room and dining room, put away my skate gear, and whatever else isn't on my list yet.
I'm starting to get nervous. Not about the surgery, I have complete confidence in Dr. Hayes and the Surgical Center at Unity. I'm nervous about coming home... reading back through my post-Myomectomy posts I'm reminded of the feelings of weakness, exhaustion, pain, boredom, frustration, impatience, loneliness (at the time I was still dating Mark; who was supposed to come out and see me during the first week but was sent to TX for work instead), and uselessness.
Going back to that frame of mind is actually good as I'm looking around my living space and reassessing... things will need to be moved down a shelf or two (or up) so that I'm not trying to reach above my head or bend down... trying to set things up so that I don't have to pick up anything heavy (e.g. the cat litter box)... remembering how to roll out of bed (a new bed since last time; higher off the ground) because my normal sitting up and swinging a leg over won't be possible for a few weeks. Thinking about how to work out my day so that I'm not constantly needing to go between floors (because right now, I'm running up and down stairs CONSTANTLY)
There are adjustments to be made, and I'm sure I'll miss a lot of them; but having gone through this before I think I'll do okay. I just need to really listen to my body (which I'm much better at in the last few years) and recognize when I'm nearing my limit; as opposed to hitting my limit.
I'm a little apprehensive, but it's to be expected. I'm not a nervous wreck, I'm not in freak-out mode, I'm just preparing for a major event in my life that will have a tremendous effect on my lifestyle; both short and long term.
I'm ready for this. Let's do it.
I'm not overly stressed about the surgery, moreso about what I need to get done and if it will get done; and whether or not I've accounted for everything that needs to get done.
It doesn't help that this is a busy week, compounded by bad weather. Last night I was supposed to lead the Blood Moon Ritual for Coven. I wrote and prepped for the ritual; and of course haven't been sleeping well the last few nights so was exhausted even before going into it... but then Hurricane/Superstorm/Megastorm Sandy blew through town and a State of Emergency was issued for Monroe Cty... I was kind of happy that I was able to relax and recharge a little... but I was also kind of pissed off that I put all that work and stress into preparing the ritual; and ended up not leading it.
Tonight I have my last Referee practice until (if I'm lucky) February (maybe last week of January). Tomorrow we're having a potluck lunch at work so I have to make something (Chilled Zombie Brain Dip - Guacamole in a decoratively formed head of cauliflower) for that, then tomorrow night is Samhain-- starting around 10p and prob going until 1:30 or 2a.
I did take a 1/2 day on Thurs, so I'm only working in the afternoon; and when I get home I finish the last of my preparations; do laundry, make my bed, wash the last of the dishes, vacuum and straighten up the living room and dining room, put away my skate gear, and whatever else isn't on my list yet.
I'm starting to get nervous. Not about the surgery, I have complete confidence in Dr. Hayes and the Surgical Center at Unity. I'm nervous about coming home... reading back through my post-Myomectomy posts I'm reminded of the feelings of weakness, exhaustion, pain, boredom, frustration, impatience, loneliness (at the time I was still dating Mark; who was supposed to come out and see me during the first week but was sent to TX for work instead), and uselessness.
Going back to that frame of mind is actually good as I'm looking around my living space and reassessing... things will need to be moved down a shelf or two (or up) so that I'm not trying to reach above my head or bend down... trying to set things up so that I don't have to pick up anything heavy (e.g. the cat litter box)... remembering how to roll out of bed (a new bed since last time; higher off the ground) because my normal sitting up and swinging a leg over won't be possible for a few weeks. Thinking about how to work out my day so that I'm not constantly needing to go between floors (because right now, I'm running up and down stairs CONSTANTLY)
There are adjustments to be made, and I'm sure I'll miss a lot of them; but having gone through this before I think I'll do okay. I just need to really listen to my body (which I'm much better at in the last few years) and recognize when I'm nearing my limit; as opposed to hitting my limit.
I'm a little apprehensive, but it's to be expected. I'm not a nervous wreck, I'm not in freak-out mode, I'm just preparing for a major event in my life that will have a tremendous effect on my lifestyle; both short and long term.
I'm ready for this. Let's do it.