Think I've seen this before, but still

[ljmorris]

 Causes of Deaths of Philosophers

And the Winners are:

Searle: Chinese food
Augustine: Hippo
Heraclitus: Fell in the same river twice
Thales: Drowned
Zeno: Run over by tortoise

And the runners-up:

Abelard: Nun
Anselm: Than which no deadlier can be conceived
Aristotle: Excessive moderation
Bacon, F: Hit by idol in market place
Berkeley: Divine neglect
Calvin: Predestined
Camus: Found exit
Copernicus: Revolution
Democritus: Atomised
Dennett: Lost consciousness
Derrida: Deconstructed
Descartes: Stopped thinking
Einstein: Diced with God
Freud: Slipped
Gödel: Became incomplete
Hegel: Gave up the Geist
Heidegger: Not being in time
Heisenberg: Uncertain causes
Husserl: Phenomenally bad luck 
Kant: Found the means to his own end
Kierkegaard: Sick to death
Kuhn: Paradigm lost
Luther: Diet of worms
Marx: Material causes
Moore: By his own hand, obviously
Nagel, Ernest: Reduction
Nagel, Tom: Struck by bat
Nietzsche: Overpowered himself
Nozick: Lost track 
Ockham: Shaved beyond necessity
Ortega y Gasset: Learned ignoramus 
Paley: Bad design
Pascal: The wagers of sin
Pavlov: Reflexed
Peirce: Reached the end of inquiry
Pirsig: Motorbike crashed
Pythagoras: Squared on the hypotenuse 
Quine: Became a free variable
Rand, Ayn: Objectified ego
Rawls: Unveiled
Rousseau: Contract job
Sartre: Nothing doing
Skinner, B F: Bad behaviour
Smith, A: Invisible hand
Turing: Failed his own test 
Wittgenstein: Became the late Wittgenstein