(no subject)
Barf. Grr. Too perfect. Kill me.
"I wake up and tear drops, they fall down like rain. I put on that song we dance to and then, I head off to my job where not much has changed. Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone - just in case - go to bed, dream of you...that's what I'm doing these days."
I absolutely hate that after you meet one guy, perfect - then every other guy you meet you compare them too. Yes, I'm talking about the one and only - Chris. It kinda makes me sick. And I don't know why out of nowhere I'm suddenly thinking about it, but maybe it's from the lack of boys I can tolerate lately. Chris was so great, and I know that often you can build some one up in your head when in reality they really aren't that great. I know that happens - but after all this time - he's still perfect to me. He has his imperfections - which makes him even more perfect to me. He was funny, nice, sincere, honest, playes the fing piano, loves country, catholic, has a good head on his shoulders, and the list goes on. But now, he has a girlfriend. Go figure. I really am okay with it - I'm just mad that anytime I am around a guy and they show the slightest ounce of interest I compare them to Chris and don't really want anything to do with them. That's why I haven't called Michael back, the whole Ben thing doesn't really count because really that's just sort of a freak accident - two lonely as fuck people needing a little company. But, I could seriously never love Ben - I don't think I could ever love Michael - I just want to be friends with these kids. Now, Chris tho - I want to love him, I could love him - I don't, I never really had time to get to that point with him because he disappeared after I came back from Europe. I know this is all in the past, and I really am okay with it all - I was just thinking about it and it made me feel a bit sad...maybe a little bitter...and didn't really help the loneliness factor. But I will survive - I always have and always will. Some day.
Anyhow. Schools going well, this seems to be a pretty easy semester. I have a good class schedule and pretty nice professors. Work has gotten better, after a screaming match with my boss I seem to feel a bit better about the situation. I won't be there forever, maybe another year depending on school and then i can leave it all behind me. Except for my friends of course - who are the most amazing spectacular people I have ever come in to contact with. They keep me sane. They make me laugh. They help me. I love them!! :)
Marley is doing well, he's the meanest kitty of the bunch - that's for sure. But, I love him. He makes me happy, it's fun coming home to a kitty. Speaking of that, I need to go feed mine. And finish homework. Lata tatas! :)
"I wake up and tear drops, they fall down like rain. I put on that song we dance to and then, I head off to my job where not much has changed. Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone - just in case - go to bed, dream of you...that's what I'm doing these days."
I absolutely hate that after you meet one guy, perfect - then every other guy you meet you compare them too. Yes, I'm talking about the one and only - Chris. It kinda makes me sick. And I don't know why out of nowhere I'm suddenly thinking about it, but maybe it's from the lack of boys I can tolerate lately. Chris was so great, and I know that often you can build some one up in your head when in reality they really aren't that great. I know that happens - but after all this time - he's still perfect to me. He has his imperfections - which makes him even more perfect to me. He was funny, nice, sincere, honest, playes the fing piano, loves country, catholic, has a good head on his shoulders, and the list goes on. But now, he has a girlfriend. Go figure. I really am okay with it - I'm just mad that anytime I am around a guy and they show the slightest ounce of interest I compare them to Chris and don't really want anything to do with them. That's why I haven't called Michael back, the whole Ben thing doesn't really count because really that's just sort of a freak accident - two lonely as fuck people needing a little company. But, I could seriously never love Ben - I don't think I could ever love Michael - I just want to be friends with these kids. Now, Chris tho - I want to love him, I could love him - I don't, I never really had time to get to that point with him because he disappeared after I came back from Europe. I know this is all in the past, and I really am okay with it all - I was just thinking about it and it made me feel a bit sad...maybe a little bitter...and didn't really help the loneliness factor. But I will survive - I always have and always will. Some day.
Anyhow. Schools going well, this seems to be a pretty easy semester. I have a good class schedule and pretty nice professors. Work has gotten better, after a screaming match with my boss I seem to feel a bit better about the situation. I won't be there forever, maybe another year depending on school and then i can leave it all behind me. Except for my friends of course - who are the most amazing spectacular people I have ever come in to contact with. They keep me sane. They make me laugh. They help me. I love them!! :)
Marley is doing well, he's the meanest kitty of the bunch - that's for sure. But, I love him. He makes me happy, it's fun coming home to a kitty. Speaking of that, I need to go feed mine. And finish homework. Lata tatas! :)