Feeling down
Well I ran for Undergraduate Student Government President...yeah again. This year it was so aweseome, though. Our platform was wonderful, the campus newspaper endorsed us (how could they not, dude?), our campaign team was full of loyal believers, and everyone was so committed and optimistic (this story can only end badly, right?).
Yeah so we came in second to make a long story short. Second of 5 and we got a good 1500 votes, so there's no dissapointment to be had in that, I suppose. It's so much more than last year and it was closer than any USG election in recent history (the winner got 2400 votes...thank you to OSU's 60+ greek chapters). Alas the torch was, once again, passed along the line of succession from Greek incumbant to Greek incumbant, sealing the fate that nothing will change and the homeostasis of mediocrity will live on.
No no, I'm not bitter. Actually, I'm really not. It was a rewarding experience and I don't regret running. A number of strangers have stopped me or emailed me and said things like "You know, I've never voted in these elctions, but you're platform finally gave me a reason to vote." So, with feedback like that, how could one be truly bitter. It's just that I put so much into this. For the past year, since I lost the last election, this election has been in the back of my mind. I'd planned the platform, written it (30 pages dude. Yay I'm a nerd), gotten people to be involved and run for senate positions on our slate, even gotten involved in every campus group I had any interest in. And now, after so much time and sanity lost, hundereds and hundereds of dollars and a couple of GPA points down the hole, and such crazy sleep deprivation, it feels like I'm left with nothing, you know? Now I know what it's like to put everything you've got into something and lose it all. I guess it's good to have that under your belt.
I'm not trying to gripe for pity here or anything. I just need to let this steam out a little. I think we could have done so much for this campus. The dedication was there, the drive was there, the ideas were there. I had such hopes that we could change things and, for once, get people to really belive in something--put their faith into something pure and well-intentioned.
Seeing people who joined us and worked so hard and really believed in what we were doing and that we were going to win shed tears when we lost was painful. If you set out to inspire confidence in people and lead them, you're left with quite a responsibility to bear. You feel almost that you've let them down. Perhaps not let them down, but more guilty that you convinced them of this great possibility and got them to care and to hope and to dedicate...and then failed to deliver.
I'll be honest, I really wanted this. I wanted to prove all of those "oh don't try, you can't fight this thing. It's a lost cause" big talkers wrong. I wanted to restore faith, to make people proud, to prove--perhaps just to myself--that it could be done. So yes, I'm a little disillusioned right now.
That said, I've got to end on some positivity right? I'm a little peeved that I've allowed myself to rant on so long with such negativity. For shame, for shame! It was a great experience, hands down. I gained so many new friends (and regained appreciation for so many old ones, at that). And I'm still going to make next year something to talk to about. We'll continue with our plans and try to make campus a little bit better. I still beleive that, although it certainly may not seem like it at times, things work out for the best. Who knows what doors were opened when this one closed. Alright. Time to catch up on the last 5 weeks of homework. Thanks to anyone reading this who helped. It meant so much.
Yeah so we came in second to make a long story short. Second of 5 and we got a good 1500 votes, so there's no dissapointment to be had in that, I suppose. It's so much more than last year and it was closer than any USG election in recent history (the winner got 2400 votes...thank you to OSU's 60+ greek chapters). Alas the torch was, once again, passed along the line of succession from Greek incumbant to Greek incumbant, sealing the fate that nothing will change and the homeostasis of mediocrity will live on.
No no, I'm not bitter. Actually, I'm really not. It was a rewarding experience and I don't regret running. A number of strangers have stopped me or emailed me and said things like "You know, I've never voted in these elctions, but you're platform finally gave me a reason to vote." So, with feedback like that, how could one be truly bitter. It's just that I put so much into this. For the past year, since I lost the last election, this election has been in the back of my mind. I'd planned the platform, written it (30 pages dude. Yay I'm a nerd), gotten people to be involved and run for senate positions on our slate, even gotten involved in every campus group I had any interest in. And now, after so much time and sanity lost, hundereds and hundereds of dollars and a couple of GPA points down the hole, and such crazy sleep deprivation, it feels like I'm left with nothing, you know? Now I know what it's like to put everything you've got into something and lose it all. I guess it's good to have that under your belt.
I'm not trying to gripe for pity here or anything. I just need to let this steam out a little. I think we could have done so much for this campus. The dedication was there, the drive was there, the ideas were there. I had such hopes that we could change things and, for once, get people to really belive in something--put their faith into something pure and well-intentioned.
Seeing people who joined us and worked so hard and really believed in what we were doing and that we were going to win shed tears when we lost was painful. If you set out to inspire confidence in people and lead them, you're left with quite a responsibility to bear. You feel almost that you've let them down. Perhaps not let them down, but more guilty that you convinced them of this great possibility and got them to care and to hope and to dedicate...and then failed to deliver.
I'll be honest, I really wanted this. I wanted to prove all of those "oh don't try, you can't fight this thing. It's a lost cause" big talkers wrong. I wanted to restore faith, to make people proud, to prove--perhaps just to myself--that it could be done. So yes, I'm a little disillusioned right now.
That said, I've got to end on some positivity right? I'm a little peeved that I've allowed myself to rant on so long with such negativity. For shame, for shame! It was a great experience, hands down. I gained so many new friends (and regained appreciation for so many old ones, at that). And I'm still going to make next year something to talk to about. We'll continue with our plans and try to make campus a little bit better. I still beleive that, although it certainly may not seem like it at times, things work out for the best. Who knows what doors were opened when this one closed. Alright. Time to catch up on the last 5 weeks of homework. Thanks to anyone reading this who helped. It meant so much.