Week Three - Second Comment
My comment on:
http://clopez-87.livejournal.com/1989.html?view=1221#t1221
Good morning!
I loved reading your poem; you exposed yourself and your family completely and showed us just how much they mean to you. I particularly loved this stanza:
From my sister, my only sibling;
The freedom to share my innermost thoughts.
The freedom to simply be myself.
I take from her, the value of friendship.
It sounds like you are extremely close with your sister and that, so I hear, is a rare preciousness that should be treasured and rejoiced in. Not to say that there aren't arguments - every relationship will have its bad moments, but there is a tie there that won't be let go of. It binds you both and I can imagine the happiness and laughter that resonates from your living room when you are hanging out with her.
I also loved this part of the first stanza: it completely drew me into your world and I found parallels in my own.
the knowledge which she forever bestows upon me
Like a legacy.
Our thoughts and feelings are always attuned
The older I become, the more I see herself in me.
It's a firstly beautiful piece of writing and you should be so so proud! Secondly, it really shows that it is a living metaphor - she is storing herself away in you over time and shaping the woman you are becoming. I loved reading into it and think the way you worded it was very clever.
Well done on a fantastic effort!
Hope to see you around soon
Liz xxx