extreme frustration, extremely long entry

[lizix]

i have my own list of priorities that nobody else understands except for me. i don't expect anybody else to understand, of course, but i think people should allow me a small margin of respect for my decisions.

this weekend has really made me upset, between all the things i've been running around to do. most of it revolves around saturday and today.

Comments

[heathbar]

hey, it was my fault she thought you were going to an fnhs party. for whatever reason, i thought it was- i guess you didn't tell me, but someone else did. i'll definitely tell her i was wrong if you haven't already, because i know it makes a difference.

and fyi, when she said to call you at 3 i thought i was going to be talking to you.. then she asked for the phone. i'm sorry about that- i wish she would've at least let me warn you.

but here's the thing (if you don't want to read until next week or something, i totally understand, and please don't think i'm attacking you in this.. i like having you on soccer and i'm glad that you came back this year): to the defense, you weren't replaceable. ashton was amazing saturday, but we had never played with her back there before, and she had never played on varsity. the only person we had as a sub for you (at least coach had led us to believe) was alanna. ... when people on the team make comments about "oh, liz is late again" it makes me cringe because i know you have stuff (more-important-than-high-school-soccer stuff) going on, but a lot of them don't get that. for most of them, school is secondary to soccer, everything else is, or they just like being retarded. either way, it's a lose-lose situation for people who have other priorities. for me, i know this weekend i'm gonna get major crap because i plan on leaving to get ready for winterball. i'm sorry, but i'm not gonna be late to my senior winter formal.. have fun with that.

and i'll admit i was pissed on saturday. not about the morning, that could happen to anyone (specifically me.. lol) but about the fnhs thing. for whatever reason i did think it was a party, and i was mad that either your sponsor thought a club function was more important than a soccer tournament or you did. i didn't know any of the details, and i'm sorry for thinking that way now.

as for the other people on the team.. unfortunately, i think it would have been ok if you were in with us during b4 or were always at practice, etc etc, but i know it isn't possible. there's already a lot of segregation between people who were in athletics first semester and all that, and there really isn't a way to break into it, short of.. whatever.

but i do know how you feel. i was supposed to leave after the first game this weekend for an obligation that my place had already been paid for in.. but she told me thursday she would've murdered me if i had.. but then, i'm a captain and maybe i shouldn't have assumed it would've been okay anyway- i took the same approach as you, a preseason tournament.

but ok, i guess i've gone on for long enough- i'm sorry for adding to the crappy weekend you had. if i can help clear anything up with coach, i'll be more than happy to. for the rest of the team- don't worry about it. i already vented to you about some of that for me :/

[lizix]

eh, no matter. i was just so upset because everyone was mad at me, for something i felt like i couldn't really do much about. and i know you have to know what i'm feeling too.. you also do a million things! so it's not always easy to get this person to understand you have rehearsal or that person to understand you have orals or just a bunch of other crap, they just write us off as "those ib kids"... but anyway, thanks for understanding. i mean, it's perfectly understandable why people would feel that i was letting everyone down, there's just not a whole lot of room for me to budge :/