ib
heather and i chased ms. saccho down on wednesday, demanding answers. after having been referred to her by the light counselor, she still hadn't contacted me. last friday i was in hysterics, hoping that she would call me in. i had so much pent up inside of me, i just wanted someone to cry and cry to. well, again, she was nowhere to be found, and luckily heather's connections in the office kept us from being tardy. although her spanish teacher was being a total bitch and curtly informed her that she should've received one.
so during my lunch i returned. i laid the situation down on the table. basically, i wanted a change to sl math asap. reasons for doing so:
a) i plan to take the sl math test anyway, and this way, i'm guaranteed a high grade
b) i hear mr. taylor is an excellent teacher
c) everyone, including mr. lines, has told me that sl math followed by ap math is a better choice for me
d) this frees me up for physics 2 if i want it
e) i can't stay awake in ms. cockrell's class
f) i get an ap test that guarantees me college credit as opposed to failing the hl test and not getting credit
g) i just hate math.
the only setback was the possible damage to my gpa. i admit that i thought about that a lot, even though it's stupid. but i decided that i no longer care that much. just means i have to work harder in my other classes.
anyway, back to the meeting. so she's like, okay, just let me e-mail ms. etcheverria, and you're good to go. so then i left.
next day, i get a note in orch telling me to see her. okay, anything to get out of orchestra. so i arrive and she says, oh i'm sorry, i got an e-mail last week about you, so... what's wrong? and i'm like... well, i saw you yesterday... i'm elizabeth... "oh! heh... i knew you looked familiar" and i asked her if she e-mailed etcheverria yet. "no... i'll do that later" okay... and i didn't have anything else to say. i was really mad last week. i would've had many things to say. but now, all that emotion, all that anger and sadness is gone and forgotten. and that would ordinarily rob it of its meaning, but i still remember the facts even if i don't remember how they hurt me. so i left her office.
so what are the facts?
a) i can't stay awake in math class. i'm sure ms. cockrell is fantastic at math. but she can't keep my attention for 5 minutes. and believe you me, i was once a diligent student. anything for good grades. but now, i sleep in her class. i get tired of listening to her and i put my head down. because she has no spirit. she ends sentences with upward intonation, as if she were scared of us. she speaks softly. she asks us for "questions? comments?" after every statement. nothing she says makes sense. she just rambles and writes things. at least i could follow ms. payne's train of thought. with ms. cockrell, i never know what's going on. there's no "today we're talking about.." "this is how.." "this is important because.." none of that. just yammering. i have learned nothing from her, just from the book, derek, and howard.
what pisses me off is that this is an hl class, designed to prepare us for the hl examination. unfortunately, this is exactly what it DOESN'T do, which is why ms. saccho encourages us NOT to take it. why the hell should i have to take an sl test if i were in an hl class? shouldn't i be ABLE to take the hl test? oh no, because everyone ends up failing. who are we going to point the finger at? i guess nobody if nobody takes the test, right? good strategy, management.
b) my bio teacher is kind of like that too. at first i was excited, because i understood the subject matter. but then things got a little more complex. then i took my first test, and that was the most horrible thing ever. oh wait, it wasn't, because that was my second test, which i failed with a 69.5. nope, she wouldn't round it up. anyway, so for notes, she gives us either powerpoint slides where you cant read the writing and a lot of blank lines to write like 2 things, or a simple, simple outline. she talks a lot, and that's it. then when you get the test, it asks you things that are like, under the caption in the pictures in the book. i hate how she pulls stupid crap like that. you might as well have your notes on your desk [EVEN if you filled them in with everything she says in class] because they won't help you, at ALL. she doesn't tell you what's important, she just talks. and it doesn't make sense, it doesn't connect. i predict i big ZERO on my bio test. and here i can't switch classes.
c) my french teacher left. now, i know many people didn't like her. i also know that i've complained a LOT about the workload i've received in that class in the past. however, i do know one thing. i know that i thought i was going to rape that ib hl test, because my french improved dramatically because of her. she's an excellent teacher, because she had that gusto, that enthusiasm for learning and for teaching. she kept us after [which i never appreciated] because we never had free time in class. i remember her telling us that the first day, that she wanted to teach us so much, that we'd never have free time, that she wished we had french every day. i didn't believe it, but it's true. those audiotapes and journals? i can write essays in french. i can have good conversations with my classmates in french. i can extemp in french!
and not only that, but she really cared about us. she knew not just our names and faces, but we were each unique to her. and she always, always talked about how she wanted to help us, and that she wanted us to come to her if we ever needed anything, if we ever had any problems. she was a friend to us. and she sympathized. we'd not only talk about french, but life. how to treat others. how to make the best of our futures. everything.
when she was in that room crying, telling us that she was turning in her notice that day, i started crying too. and i could feel those tears coming to my eyes, but i didn't let them fall, because my classmates were all there. we were on the floor, discussing l'etranger. i didn't believe her, but now she's gone.
a week after she told us, i came in and talked to her after school. i wanted to know all the details of "why". she explained it all to me, the lack of support, the backstabbing, the hypocrisy. that other teachers, like the former french teacher and mr. axe had left for the same reasons. other teachers are on the verge of doing so as well. it's wrong, but nothing's being done. the school gets money from ib. the program is paramount, not the students. the program is on the decline. teachers are being driven away, and less and less students are enrolling. she says that she hopes that at least her leaving so soon will open up their eyes to some of the problems surrounding our school.
i will sorely miss her. but i do like the new french teacher. i haven't really had time to make an assessment, but her organizational skills [which are VERY important to me] are superb and she has good credentials. but when i was in class friday, i saw ms. bullard's picture by the monitor, and i remembered again that i'd lost someone who, although i'd only known for a year, had become an important influence in my life. i feel lucky that i still have other excellent teachers, such as zembower, burgin, and lines, but i'm already feeling the pain of having mediocre teachers in other subjects. and it's critical this year, because we begin testing.
hopefully i'll be okay from here on out. it just makes me mad that the things that should be changed aren't, and the things that work wonderfully are destroyed.
so during my lunch i returned. i laid the situation down on the table. basically, i wanted a change to sl math asap. reasons for doing so:
a) i plan to take the sl math test anyway, and this way, i'm guaranteed a high grade
b) i hear mr. taylor is an excellent teacher
c) everyone, including mr. lines, has told me that sl math followed by ap math is a better choice for me
d) this frees me up for physics 2 if i want it
e) i can't stay awake in ms. cockrell's class
f) i get an ap test that guarantees me college credit as opposed to failing the hl test and not getting credit
g) i just hate math.
the only setback was the possible damage to my gpa. i admit that i thought about that a lot, even though it's stupid. but i decided that i no longer care that much. just means i have to work harder in my other classes.
anyway, back to the meeting. so she's like, okay, just let me e-mail ms. etcheverria, and you're good to go. so then i left.
next day, i get a note in orch telling me to see her. okay, anything to get out of orchestra. so i arrive and she says, oh i'm sorry, i got an e-mail last week about you, so... what's wrong? and i'm like... well, i saw you yesterday... i'm elizabeth... "oh! heh... i knew you looked familiar" and i asked her if she e-mailed etcheverria yet. "no... i'll do that later" okay... and i didn't have anything else to say. i was really mad last week. i would've had many things to say. but now, all that emotion, all that anger and sadness is gone and forgotten. and that would ordinarily rob it of its meaning, but i still remember the facts even if i don't remember how they hurt me. so i left her office.
so what are the facts?
a) i can't stay awake in math class. i'm sure ms. cockrell is fantastic at math. but she can't keep my attention for 5 minutes. and believe you me, i was once a diligent student. anything for good grades. but now, i sleep in her class. i get tired of listening to her and i put my head down. because she has no spirit. she ends sentences with upward intonation, as if she were scared of us. she speaks softly. she asks us for "questions? comments?" after every statement. nothing she says makes sense. she just rambles and writes things. at least i could follow ms. payne's train of thought. with ms. cockrell, i never know what's going on. there's no "today we're talking about.." "this is how.." "this is important because.." none of that. just yammering. i have learned nothing from her, just from the book, derek, and howard.
what pisses me off is that this is an hl class, designed to prepare us for the hl examination. unfortunately, this is exactly what it DOESN'T do, which is why ms. saccho encourages us NOT to take it. why the hell should i have to take an sl test if i were in an hl class? shouldn't i be ABLE to take the hl test? oh no, because everyone ends up failing. who are we going to point the finger at? i guess nobody if nobody takes the test, right? good strategy, management.
b) my bio teacher is kind of like that too. at first i was excited, because i understood the subject matter. but then things got a little more complex. then i took my first test, and that was the most horrible thing ever. oh wait, it wasn't, because that was my second test, which i failed with a 69.5. nope, she wouldn't round it up. anyway, so for notes, she gives us either powerpoint slides where you cant read the writing and a lot of blank lines to write like 2 things, or a simple, simple outline. she talks a lot, and that's it. then when you get the test, it asks you things that are like, under the caption in the pictures in the book. i hate how she pulls stupid crap like that. you might as well have your notes on your desk [EVEN if you filled them in with everything she says in class] because they won't help you, at ALL. she doesn't tell you what's important, she just talks. and it doesn't make sense, it doesn't connect. i predict i big ZERO on my bio test. and here i can't switch classes.
c) my french teacher left. now, i know many people didn't like her. i also know that i've complained a LOT about the workload i've received in that class in the past. however, i do know one thing. i know that i thought i was going to rape that ib hl test, because my french improved dramatically because of her. she's an excellent teacher, because she had that gusto, that enthusiasm for learning and for teaching. she kept us after [which i never appreciated] because we never had free time in class. i remember her telling us that the first day, that she wanted to teach us so much, that we'd never have free time, that she wished we had french every day. i didn't believe it, but it's true. those audiotapes and journals? i can write essays in french. i can have good conversations with my classmates in french. i can extemp in french!
and not only that, but she really cared about us. she knew not just our names and faces, but we were each unique to her. and she always, always talked about how she wanted to help us, and that she wanted us to come to her if we ever needed anything, if we ever had any problems. she was a friend to us. and she sympathized. we'd not only talk about french, but life. how to treat others. how to make the best of our futures. everything.
when she was in that room crying, telling us that she was turning in her notice that day, i started crying too. and i could feel those tears coming to my eyes, but i didn't let them fall, because my classmates were all there. we were on the floor, discussing l'etranger. i didn't believe her, but now she's gone.
a week after she told us, i came in and talked to her after school. i wanted to know all the details of "why". she explained it all to me, the lack of support, the backstabbing, the hypocrisy. that other teachers, like the former french teacher and mr. axe had left for the same reasons. other teachers are on the verge of doing so as well. it's wrong, but nothing's being done. the school gets money from ib. the program is paramount, not the students. the program is on the decline. teachers are being driven away, and less and less students are enrolling. she says that she hopes that at least her leaving so soon will open up their eyes to some of the problems surrounding our school.
i will sorely miss her. but i do like the new french teacher. i haven't really had time to make an assessment, but her organizational skills [which are VERY important to me] are superb and she has good credentials. but when i was in class friday, i saw ms. bullard's picture by the monitor, and i remembered again that i'd lost someone who, although i'd only known for a year, had become an important influence in my life. i feel lucky that i still have other excellent teachers, such as zembower, burgin, and lines, but i'm already feeling the pain of having mediocre teachers in other subjects. and it's critical this year, because we begin testing.
hopefully i'll be okay from here on out. it just makes me mad that the things that should be changed aren't, and the things that work wonderfully are destroyed.