thoughts, etc.
So a while ago I decided that I would not write about myself in a direct way on this, just because I feel like it is a strange medium which I am not so sure about. Who reads this? I mean, really.....
Anyway so I decided I am going to say some stuff.
I can't believe it's already February. This year has turned out pretty well. I am enjoying my daily existence, which has been something I never thought could possibly happen. I feel like I've been in this constant "waiting" phase...waiting to be done with school, waiting to be a little more sane, waiting to not be scared of my friends or being close to people, waiting to be interested in books and learning, etc. etc. I've taken a few things into my own hands for a change. This approach is taking some getting used to, but I like it.
I also have fallen in love with winter, which is pretty awesome considering I live in Michigan and winter is pretty in your face sometimes here.
I don't really know where I'm going with any of this. Most of the people who might read this probably don't really know me, or even have any interest in these things, but that's OK. I'm still here, and I'm kind of shy and reserved now.... I honestly never thought I would be either of those things. But a lot has changed.
I enjoy my solitude, but I guess I have kind of a favor to ask... maybe if there's something fun going on, if you don't mind, would you tell me about it? The other day I realized that literally no one ever calls me to invite me to do things anymore. I know I haven't been the most fun or exciting person to be around for a while, but I would like to reconnect with people again someday. It's been weeks since anyone besides my parents or Ben has called me, and even if someone does call me I'm lucky if it happens more than once a month. It's my own fault, but I guess I'd just like to know I'm not a complete loser that everyone forgot about. I'm still here, but even sometimes I forget.
Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when I interact with people more. I think I will have to before too long. These days I might go all week without talking to more than like six people...my boss, my roommates, my parents, and Ben. I never thought I'd be so disconnected, but I guess that's what happens when you're out of your mind for two years.
I don't want to come off as sad or pathetic...I'm actually really content these days. It's just very strange when I realise how much I've changed, in ways I never planned to or thought would be possible. It's very strange indeed.
Anyway so I decided I am going to say some stuff.
I can't believe it's already February. This year has turned out pretty well. I am enjoying my daily existence, which has been something I never thought could possibly happen. I feel like I've been in this constant "waiting" phase...waiting to be done with school, waiting to be a little more sane, waiting to not be scared of my friends or being close to people, waiting to be interested in books and learning, etc. etc. I've taken a few things into my own hands for a change. This approach is taking some getting used to, but I like it.
I also have fallen in love with winter, which is pretty awesome considering I live in Michigan and winter is pretty in your face sometimes here.
I don't really know where I'm going with any of this. Most of the people who might read this probably don't really know me, or even have any interest in these things, but that's OK. I'm still here, and I'm kind of shy and reserved now.... I honestly never thought I would be either of those things. But a lot has changed.
I enjoy my solitude, but I guess I have kind of a favor to ask... maybe if there's something fun going on, if you don't mind, would you tell me about it? The other day I realized that literally no one ever calls me to invite me to do things anymore. I know I haven't been the most fun or exciting person to be around for a while, but I would like to reconnect with people again someday. It's been weeks since anyone besides my parents or Ben has called me, and even if someone does call me I'm lucky if it happens more than once a month. It's my own fault, but I guess I'd just like to know I'm not a complete loser that everyone forgot about. I'm still here, but even sometimes I forget.
Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when I interact with people more. I think I will have to before too long. These days I might go all week without talking to more than like six people...my boss, my roommates, my parents, and Ben. I never thought I'd be so disconnected, but I guess that's what happens when you're out of your mind for two years.
I don't want to come off as sad or pathetic...I'm actually really content these days. It's just very strange when I realise how much I've changed, in ways I never planned to or thought would be possible. It's very strange indeed.