Thoughs on a Momentous Occasion
I'm not very depressed today. This is pretty astonishing, actually. Both because any day lately where I'm not depressed is unusual, and because... well, today is a special day.
Not only is today February Third, which is always a special day, but this February Third is special. As of 1:30am this morning, and for every day from now on for the rest of my life, I have been alive longer without my mother than I ever was with her.
And all I can think is: it is what it is. Life goes on. I look at myself and my life and - maybe Mum wouldn't be thrilled by all of it, but there are parts she'd be really really happy about. So it's ok. It's really ok. I can do this. I can keep going.
I thought I'd have more to say about this, but I don't.
Since there is more to a sinlge day than one person's accosiations and experiences, let m take this time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to lobsteronmyhead, shimere277 and classicanne01.
And because that makes me feel a bit guilty because I'm so haphazard about the birthday thing, a happy happy belated birthday to: sir_sparhawk (January 31), lil_banik_slave (January 29), bu_doodlebug (January 29), talus (January 25), jagwriter78 (January 24), the_iron_troll (January 16), jen10122 (January 15), chazjazz (January 07), synecdochic (January 05), grayarcadian (January 05), scaperdeage (January 04),
shadowlongknife (December 27), sugargroupie (December 26), and Jesus (December 25th) (observed).
I'm really happy all of you were born. Hell, I'm really happy everybody on my f'list was born.
Raise a glass or something for yourselves for my sake, k?
ETA This is way off topic of everything else in this post, but I can't contain myself. You absolutely must, right now, go and read the beautiful fic eve11 just wrote for me, The Chinese Remainder Theorem. It's the (sixth) Doctor and Evelyn (an audio companion, don't worry I don't know her either) flying a kite and the Doctor answering a question by not answering it. It's... look, I asked her for something quiet and gentle and lovely, Doctor and Companion with no shippyness, and she gave it to me in spades. Go read. It's beautiful.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
will I be rich?
here's what she said to me:
Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
-
Not only is today February Third, which is always a special day, but this February Third is special. As of 1:30am this morning, and for every day from now on for the rest of my life, I have been alive longer without my mother than I ever was with her.
And all I can think is: it is what it is. Life goes on. I look at myself and my life and - maybe Mum wouldn't be thrilled by all of it, but there are parts she'd be really really happy about. So it's ok. It's really ok. I can do this. I can keep going.
I thought I'd have more to say about this, but I don't.
Since there is more to a sinlge day than one person's accosiations and experiences, let m take this time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to lobsteronmyhead, shimere277 and classicanne01.
And because that makes me feel a bit guilty because I'm so haphazard about the birthday thing, a happy happy belated birthday to: sir_sparhawk (January 31), lil_banik_slave (January 29), bu_doodlebug (January 29), talus (January 25), jagwriter78 (January 24), the_iron_troll (January 16), jen10122 (January 15), chazjazz (January 07), synecdochic (January 05), grayarcadian (January 05), scaperdeage (January 04),
shadowlongknife (December 27), sugargroupie (December 26), and Jesus (December 25th) (observed).
I'm really happy all of you were born. Hell, I'm really happy everybody on my f'list was born.
Raise a glass or something for yourselves for my sake, k?
ETA This is way off topic of everything else in this post, but I can't contain myself. You absolutely must, right now, go and read the beautiful fic eve11 just wrote for me, The Chinese Remainder Theorem. It's the (sixth) Doctor and Evelyn (an audio companion, don't worry I don't know her either) flying a kite and the Doctor answering a question by not answering it. It's... look, I asked her for something quiet and gentle and lovely, Doctor and Companion with no shippyness, and she gave it to me in spades. Go read. It's beautiful.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
will I be rich?
here's what she said to me:
Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
-