Everything to lose...
It was the call I'd been waiting for for months.
And after 28 hours in the air... with 3 sporadic phone calls
letting me know he's safe... he finally made it to St Louis.
On the same continent.
Only a few states away.
But still... out of my reach.
My dreams at night are of me hugging him...
For the last couple of days- my thoughts have been scattered.
At times it's hard to breath.
At times feelings of worry fill my heart.
why?
These last three an a half months have been the best.
A bond that grew closer than I ever thought it could grow.
Waiting for his phone calls each day...
Three to be exact...
1 in the morning/ his evening.
2 one in my early evening/ his morning.
3 and one in my evening/ his lunch.
emails in our inbox were like promises not spoken of..
they were always there.
I didn't need my alarm clock..
the excitement of opening my messages-reading his words were enough to wake me from the deepest of sleeps.
A love I didn't expect.
"I miss yous" to a man I've never held are so easily said.
"I like yous" and "kiss-you-byes" are simple.
A love I thought would never exist.
A love I didn't know could.
It was a leap I took on a late April day..
A leap I was afraid to take..
A leap I said yes too... cause...
What did I have to lose?
What did I have to lose?
Nothing at the time.
but now...
I have everything to lose.
He has grown to be apart of me.
Through the good times and bad...
still.. losing him would send my heart into a paralyzed state...
my eyes would water for days...
what have we gotten ourselves into?
I will see him soon..
and I can only pray our hearts will fit perfectly together..
together...
fit perfect as we have dreamed them to be the last 3 months...
We love eachother..
our souls love eachother..
Isn't that deeper than any love in the world?
when two souls come together...
God I pray that this is not just a "season" in our lives..
That this is more than a passing through.
Have I found him?
Lord... the only one who knows.... is you.
And after 28 hours in the air... with 3 sporadic phone calls
letting me know he's safe... he finally made it to St Louis.
On the same continent.
Only a few states away.
But still... out of my reach.
My dreams at night are of me hugging him...
For the last couple of days- my thoughts have been scattered.
At times it's hard to breath.
At times feelings of worry fill my heart.
why?
These last three an a half months have been the best.
A bond that grew closer than I ever thought it could grow.
Waiting for his phone calls each day...
Three to be exact...
1 in the morning/ his evening.
2 one in my early evening/ his morning.
3 and one in my evening/ his lunch.
emails in our inbox were like promises not spoken of..
they were always there.
I didn't need my alarm clock..
the excitement of opening my messages-reading his words were enough to wake me from the deepest of sleeps.
A love I didn't expect.
"I miss yous" to a man I've never held are so easily said.
"I like yous" and "kiss-you-byes" are simple.
A love I thought would never exist.
A love I didn't know could.
It was a leap I took on a late April day..
A leap I was afraid to take..
A leap I said yes too... cause...
What did I have to lose?
What did I have to lose?
Nothing at the time.
but now...
I have everything to lose.
He has grown to be apart of me.
Through the good times and bad...
still.. losing him would send my heart into a paralyzed state...
my eyes would water for days...
what have we gotten ourselves into?
I will see him soon..
and I can only pray our hearts will fit perfectly together..
together...
fit perfect as we have dreamed them to be the last 3 months...
We love eachother..
our souls love eachother..
Isn't that deeper than any love in the world?
when two souls come together...
God I pray that this is not just a "season" in our lives..
That this is more than a passing through.
Have I found him?
Lord... the only one who knows.... is you.