It wasn't supposed...

[lizabethanne42]

It wasn't supposed to come this far...
but it did.

I wasn't supposed to fall this hard...
but I did.

I'm not supposed to sacrifice the most important part of who I am...
but that's what I'm doing.

I'm scared..
For the first time..
I'm scared to bring it up...
I'm scared of the answer..
an answer that may end what I started..
It was never supposed to move this quick..
We were never supposed to be so perfect..
Not before I knew..
Not before I knew for sure...

Now.. i'm caught..
and the leap I need to take is harder than it would've been 2 months ago..

I was a fool to wait..
I was a fool to let it get this far..
i've pulled myself in..
and worst of all... I've pulled him in..

I need to prepare myself for wet eyes...
I need to prepare myself.... prepare myself to possibly say goodbye to a man I've grown to care about....

a man who has shown me nothing but consistent affirmation...
a man who can make me smile all day long..
a man who I can't stop thinking about..
a man who makes me laugh..
a man who knows just what im thinking..
a man who knows the little things..
a man who knows the big things...
a man who I wish were here... with me.. everyday..

but maybe im wrong..
maybe this is what God wants for me...

maybe this will work.
but I will tell you one thing..

it will never work to be "perfect" if God is not sitting in the middle of something so wonderful.

God... help me... I've fallen for him.. and I don't know if it's what you desired for me to do.