....
I know I've been neglectful. So read this. And interpret it how you want.
What the hell? Ugh, all I wanted was to sleep for 8 straight hours.
Here I am, 3 a.m., after waking up out of a restless sleep. Sitting up, I wipe a few stray, sweaty strands of hair away from my face. I had been dreaming of him, again.
I shouldn’t be. It’s over. But dreams have a way of reminding us what our hearts think when we spend all of our energy ignoring how we feel..
There’s something about sitting up in the middle of the night that brings an intense wave of clarity. You’re very aware of what’s around you. Thoughts that would seem crazy at any other time of day make a hell of a lot of sense. There’s no noise, the air is cold and stale, and its just you and your thoughts, and the only real thought you have is painful memory of the apparition that woke you up with a kiss.
I shake my hair out, hoping that maybe I’d make my brain move enough that I’d forget his green eyes. I just want to go back to sleep.
I lay back down, and press my face in to the pillow. The faint scent of his cologne is still there. I can almost see the contrast of his dark hair against my white sheets, his hand under his face. He always slept that way. Jesus Christ, he had to break my heart and ruin my sheets, AND my sleep? I make a mental note to get to Bed, Bath and Beyond in the morning. Dolce and Gabanna cologne makes me want to throw up. Roll over, pop a Tylenol PM, one stray tear rolls down my face, the only amount of emotion I allow myself tonight. Close my eyes, and picture anything but his cocky smile.
What the hell? Ugh, all I wanted was to sleep for 8 straight hours.
Here I am, 3 a.m., after waking up out of a restless sleep. Sitting up, I wipe a few stray, sweaty strands of hair away from my face. I had been dreaming of him, again.
I shouldn’t be. It’s over. But dreams have a way of reminding us what our hearts think when we spend all of our energy ignoring how we feel..
There’s something about sitting up in the middle of the night that brings an intense wave of clarity. You’re very aware of what’s around you. Thoughts that would seem crazy at any other time of day make a hell of a lot of sense. There’s no noise, the air is cold and stale, and its just you and your thoughts, and the only real thought you have is painful memory of the apparition that woke you up with a kiss.
I shake my hair out, hoping that maybe I’d make my brain move enough that I’d forget his green eyes. I just want to go back to sleep.
I lay back down, and press my face in to the pillow. The faint scent of his cologne is still there. I can almost see the contrast of his dark hair against my white sheets, his hand under his face. He always slept that way. Jesus Christ, he had to break my heart and ruin my sheets, AND my sleep? I make a mental note to get to Bed, Bath and Beyond in the morning. Dolce and Gabanna cologne makes me want to throw up. Roll over, pop a Tylenol PM, one stray tear rolls down my face, the only amount of emotion I allow myself tonight. Close my eyes, and picture anything but his cocky smile.