Hiatus Re-Watch, Season 1 - 1x04 - Preggers
“Preggers!” Oh, four episodes into this crazy show, and LOOK AT THAT I’ve fallen in love with Kurt Hummel. I love that he puts down the attitude and the bitch-face and lets us really see him this week. Not all of him, nowhere near the man we come to know later on. But we get a peek, right here, at the core of Kurt Hummel. Hooray!
Oh god, Single Ladies in the basement. I barely even know what to do with myself. Sweet baby Kurt, teaching himself the routine and recruiting Tina and Brittany to film it with him... I die. That boy. I just can't even.
BURT! BURT HUMMEL! Oy, these two just don't get each other and don't even know how to talk. Kurt tries to defend the unitard as athletic wear that wicks sweat from the body (sorry, honey, that doesn't explain the glittery vest and tie), and still-stuttering Tina tries to back him up saying that the guys on the football team wear them. But our first-ever spoken line from Brittany takes it a step too far (surprise surprise) and says that Kurt's on the football team. He looks like he might murder her.
Oh, they are just SO not on the same wavelength. Kurt's nervous laugh about how if he plays football, they'll have something to talk about. And Burt asking if one of them is his girlfriend and Kurt actually grabs Tina's ass before saying he's not exclusive. Good lord. Burt's slow delivery this whole time, the way he looks at Kurt, my absolute headcanon is that he knows most of it is a lie, but doesn't even have any clue how to call him out on it. So he asks for a ticket to his first game and Kurt knows he’s in trouble.
(Can I just spiral for a moment about that baby face and those beautiful eyes? Because UGH, god. He's so cute and sweet and wee...)
In the Schuester apartment, we've apparently fast-forwarded to Terri's second trimester and she and Will are practicing their lamaze breathing while Terri's sister criticizes Will from the couch. I dunno, man, I'm actually starting to sympathize a shocking amount with crazy Kendra. Okay, fine, not really. They're all awful.
Anyways, after sending Will off to the kitchen, Terri tearfully confesses the fake pregnancy to Kendra. She's refusing to tell Will the truth because she's sure he already has one foot out the door, but then she's so torn she considers coming clean. Kendra says no, we just have to find you a baby, girl! NO PROBLEM. Ugh.
In the teacher's lounge, Will tries to avoid it but ultimately sits down for lunch with Emma and Ken. Emma, the local news junkie, says they'll never believe what she saw: oh yes, it's the first-ever Sue's Corner on WOHN (talking about caning, naturally). Sue comes in and rants for a while and I'm really not even paying attention.
In the choir room, Schue hands out sheet music and Rachel flips her shit when she realizes that he's going to have Tina sing a Maria song from West Side Story. Ooh, the diva is strong with this one. She says he's punishing her, but man, Rachel. It's not all about you, honey.
Kurt needs to ask Finn a question, and Finn turns him down for prom on instinct, while Kurt denies being gay. Anyways, what he really needs is help trying out for football. And honestly? Finn is super cool about it. He does his best to get Kurt an in, coach him a little bit. As Finn says, "the more crossover there is between Glee and football, the easier my life is gonna be." Fair enough.
But when Kurt goes off to get his music (because of course his football tryout is choreographed), Finn freaks a bit. Not only is he embarrassed for himself, but he knows full well that there's a high likelihood the rest of the guys could beat the crap out of Kurt for it. Kurt, bless him, doesn't give a shit. "If I'm doing this, I'm doing it my way." Classic. (And, yes, the line about his body being a rum chocolate souffle, everyone’s favorite.)
Puck tries to give FInn grief about it - "so, what, are you two dating now?" - but Finn calls him out on the double-standard. Puck says Kurt doesn't belong there? Puck joined Acafellas, what's the difference?
Oh, Kurt, auditioning for the role of kicker. I could just cry watching him do that dance in his little argyle socks and football helmet, while the other guys on the team just laugh. But, of course, the kid can kick, and earns his place on the team.
Sue is signing headshots and reading her hate mail when a guy from the network comes in. He's heard that some of her top Cheerios are defecting to the show choir, and worries about her ability to remain a champion. Since being a champion is really the whole basis for her having a segment on the show. DUN DUN, more reasons for her to destroy the club. Yay.
Finn finds Quinn in the hallways at school - she's been avoiding him - and when he asks what's up? Yeah, she's pregnant. His head goes buzzing for a moment after that, until he finally wants to know if it's his, what with them NEVER HAVING SEX. She convinces his poor dopey self that sperm can swim through bathing suits and hot tubs, and while I want to kill her for that, I can't help but sympathize with her sorrow as she says, "I really thought I had a chance of getting out of here."
WAIT A MINUTE. 15 minutes into the episode and, aside from "Single Ladies," we haven't had a single musical number? WHAT SHOW IS THIS?
Sue goes to creepy Sandy's house ("I'm living in a cocoon of horror!") to bring him back into the school as the "arts administrator" and blackmails Figgins to make it so. Anyways, they conspire to destroy the club by stealing Rachel with a production of Cabaret and a requirement to audition with a Celine Dion song.
(She only sings 30 seconds of the song? Seriously, I don't even recognize this show.)
Will is pissed and knows Sue is somehow behind Sandy showing up and stealing his best singer. He tries to talk to Rachel about it, but she is perfectly and honestly self-centered. She knows she's the best one in there, and she wants to be the star. It's great that he's bringing other people out of their shells, but why does he have to hurt her to do it? Oh, RACHEL. You are the Racheliest Rachel to ever Rachel.
In the auditorium, Tina sings "Tonight" and it honestly might be my favorite thing she's ever done. Is she singing it live? I can't tell. But she can't hit the last note, and that makes her stutter out the fact that she thinks Schue should give it to Rachel, anyways.
Tina leaves, and a distraught-looking Finn comes looking for Schue. He's so upset he can't even speak and just starts sobbing. Schue takes him out to the buffet for a chat. Finn is freaking out. He doesn't want to be that guy, that teen dad who never leaves Lima and is working at the grocery store or pumping gas. He needs to go to college, and for that he needs a football scholarship. And for that, he needs the team to win. He checked out a book about Walter Payton (Did you know they let you just take the books?), and thinks maybe Schue could help teach the team to dance, to loosen up. It's a win for both of them - if he can help the team win even one game, then the guys will start to trust him and maybe a few will actually join Glee club.
While they brush their teeth, Will shares the gossip with Terri about Quinn being pregnant. Her eyes light up. ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT.
Will shows up in the locker room to make his pitch about teaching the football boys to dance. (Hello Mike Chang!) Puck, in particular, is ripshit pissed about this nonsense. Will says all athletes are performers, Ken says they might as well give it a shot, and Kurt pipes up suggesting that the sheer surprise factor might be enough of a leg up on the other team. Off to the choir room with all of you smelly boys.
Will and Kurt each take a turn trying to teach them the Single Ladies dance, and Kurt's commentary on each move might be my favorite. "Oh! Sneak attack back to the ring! Comb that hair, slap that butt." I feel 100% confident that this was Chris Colfer's inner monologue as he learned this routine.
Puck and Finn leave the room together and Puck can tell Finn's upset about something. He finally gets it out of him: Finn spills the beans about Quinn being pregnant. Puck's wide-eyed horror is not, of course, just on his friend's behalf. He knows full well that Finn never slept with Quinn, but he did. Puck finds Quinn in the hallway and in a weird, awful way of nearly outing her secret, he does tell her that he'd take care of the baby, and Quinn too. His own dad might be a deadbeat, but he wouldn't be.
Quinn's not having it. She tells Puck he's a Lima Loser and always will be, and she only slept with him because she was drunk and feeling fat. She's clinging to what little she has left and sticking with loyal, popular, nice-guy quarterback Finn, not taking a risk on a guy who cleans pools in the middle of Ohio and got fired from a fast-food joint for peeing in the fryolater.
Quinn cries as she runs through the rain to her car, but SURPRISE, FUCKING PSYCHOTIC TERRI is there to ramble on about how she can't possibly raise this baby and HEY, she's got an idea. Jesus, Terri, you are scary as hell.
Time for the big football game. Finn's pep talk is "we really came together as a team this week!" Puck's response: "A gay team. A big gay team of gays." Lovely. The guys are all chickening out, though, they say there's no way they can actually pull this stunt in real life. It might have been fun in practice, but they'll be a laughingstock. Kurt stares down Finn, but Finn just heads onto the field without comment.
Burt arrives at the game and wee baby Kurt is jumping up and down with excitement, waving so his dad will see him. Oh, honey.
The game, of course, goes poorly. In the final seconds of the game, Finn has a moment of clarity and calls a time out. They've got to do it, he tells them. Puck says they'll be a joke. Finn says they're already a joke, might as well try SOMETHING to have the chance of not being Lima Losers for the rest of their lives. After telling the opposing team's defensive lineman that he slept with his mother, Puck is in. When you're already at the bottom, you don't have much to lose.
I could cry with delight at that pack of boys in full pads doing the Single Ladies dance like there's no tomorrow. And Burt's reaction in the stands just cracks me up, like maybe Kurt wasn't making all of this up in the first place. The play, of course, works, and the game is all tied up and it's time for Kurt to kick the extra point.
Oh, Kurt. Burt's worried face is me: "he's so little!" But he goes out there, queues up the Beyonce, and nails that kick. Kurt gets lifted onto everyone's shoulders; a lot can be ignored when you win the game. And Burt loses his shit in the stands, because never in a million years did he think he was going to see his little boy win a football game.
That said, one of the best moments of this scene is Puck, looking so happy that they won the game. Then he sees Finn and Quinn kissing on the sidelines, and suddenly the cheering is silent and he walks off the field alone, head down. Nicely done.
In Kurt's basement bedroom, his nighttime skincare regimen is an important part of his post-game routine, or so he tells his dad. We get our first mention that it's really just the two of them, that Kurt's mom died, but anyways Burt is really proud of Kurt and what he did tonight. Kurt, that brave boy, knows his moment has come.
He's glad his dad is proud of him, but he doesn't want to lie anymore. Between Glee Club and football, he's seen he can be anything he wants. "And what I am... is... I'm gay." He's down to almost a whisper at the end, his voice shaking and his whole body tense. But as he works up to saying it, you can see in Burt's face that he's just waiting. He knows what's coming, bless him, and he lets Kurt say it. "I've known since you were three," he says. "I love you just as much," he says. Kurt looks like he can barely believe this is happening, and collapses into his dad's arms for a hug.
Best coming out scene EVER. Kurt is so scared and so brave to do it anyways. And Burt’s face while he waits is so perfect. He’s not surprised, even if he’s not quite sure what to make of it. Regardless of his own discomfort or uncertainty, though, that’s still his son. End of story. *happy sigh*
Finn and Quinn meet up at the lockers, and Finn brings her his old ratty lovey from when he was a kid; he wants to pass it on to their baby. It's sweet, he really is trying to do the right thing. Puck, meanwhile, comes up just to be an asshole, and the tension of secrets is thick between the three of them.
We get a Sue's Corner segment while we catch up with a few people. In the choir room, we welcome three more boys (Puck, Mike, and the not-long-for-this-world Matt Rutherford), but Will persists in giving the solo to Tina, so Rachel officially quits and tells Sandy she's 100% his for Cabaret. We see Kurt finishing up his skin care after talking to his dad, still looking shell-shocked. And Sue's voice over tells us that there's a fine line between a crowd of adoring fans and a crowd of people screaming negativity at you. If you convince yourself that they're cheering, she says, eventually they actually will. Shake it up, break out of your comfort zone.
And there, in part, we have our lesson of the episode in a nutshell. People try to shake things up, for better or worse. Schue tries not to give every single song to Rachel, and gets punished by her quitting on him. Finn shakes up the football team with some dancing, and succeeds in finally winning a game, and even gets some more crossover between football and Glee just as he’d hoped. Quinn, I suppose, tried to shake a shitty day by having sex with Puck. Oops. And Kurt, I don’t think the “shaking it up” was joining football (though yay for discovering a talent you didn’t realize you had). Kurt broke out of his comfort zone by deciding not to hide, not to lie (whether overtly or by omission). Kurt faced his biggest fear and came out to his dad, and lo, the heavens opened and the angels did sing.
I really do love this episode.
(And in the meantime, there was about one minute out of 44 spent singing - half a verse of Celine Dion from Rachel and one verse of West Side Story from Tina and THAT’S IT. Compare to these days, when we tend to average a solid six songs per episode, each of which go on for at least two minutes if not more. Now, musical performances tend to make up nearly a third of the episode. Wow. I’m curious to keep watching and see if it’s a gradual shift or something that happens all at once…)
Oh god, Single Ladies in the basement. I barely even know what to do with myself. Sweet baby Kurt, teaching himself the routine and recruiting Tina and Brittany to film it with him... I die. That boy. I just can't even.
BURT! BURT HUMMEL! Oy, these two just don't get each other and don't even know how to talk. Kurt tries to defend the unitard as athletic wear that wicks sweat from the body (sorry, honey, that doesn't explain the glittery vest and tie), and still-stuttering Tina tries to back him up saying that the guys on the football team wear them. But our first-ever spoken line from Brittany takes it a step too far (surprise surprise) and says that Kurt's on the football team. He looks like he might murder her.
Oh, they are just SO not on the same wavelength. Kurt's nervous laugh about how if he plays football, they'll have something to talk about. And Burt asking if one of them is his girlfriend and Kurt actually grabs Tina's ass before saying he's not exclusive. Good lord. Burt's slow delivery this whole time, the way he looks at Kurt, my absolute headcanon is that he knows most of it is a lie, but doesn't even have any clue how to call him out on it. So he asks for a ticket to his first game and Kurt knows he’s in trouble.
(Can I just spiral for a moment about that baby face and those beautiful eyes? Because UGH, god. He's so cute and sweet and wee...)
In the Schuester apartment, we've apparently fast-forwarded to Terri's second trimester and she and Will are practicing their lamaze breathing while Terri's sister criticizes Will from the couch. I dunno, man, I'm actually starting to sympathize a shocking amount with crazy Kendra. Okay, fine, not really. They're all awful.
Anyways, after sending Will off to the kitchen, Terri tearfully confesses the fake pregnancy to Kendra. She's refusing to tell Will the truth because she's sure he already has one foot out the door, but then she's so torn she considers coming clean. Kendra says no, we just have to find you a baby, girl! NO PROBLEM. Ugh.
In the teacher's lounge, Will tries to avoid it but ultimately sits down for lunch with Emma and Ken. Emma, the local news junkie, says they'll never believe what she saw: oh yes, it's the first-ever Sue's Corner on WOHN (talking about caning, naturally). Sue comes in and rants for a while and I'm really not even paying attention.
In the choir room, Schue hands out sheet music and Rachel flips her shit when she realizes that he's going to have Tina sing a Maria song from West Side Story. Ooh, the diva is strong with this one. She says he's punishing her, but man, Rachel. It's not all about you, honey.
Kurt needs to ask Finn a question, and Finn turns him down for prom on instinct, while Kurt denies being gay. Anyways, what he really needs is help trying out for football. And honestly? Finn is super cool about it. He does his best to get Kurt an in, coach him a little bit. As Finn says, "the more crossover there is between Glee and football, the easier my life is gonna be." Fair enough.
But when Kurt goes off to get his music (because of course his football tryout is choreographed), Finn freaks a bit. Not only is he embarrassed for himself, but he knows full well that there's a high likelihood the rest of the guys could beat the crap out of Kurt for it. Kurt, bless him, doesn't give a shit. "If I'm doing this, I'm doing it my way." Classic. (And, yes, the line about his body being a rum chocolate souffle, everyone’s favorite.)
Puck tries to give FInn grief about it - "so, what, are you two dating now?" - but Finn calls him out on the double-standard. Puck says Kurt doesn't belong there? Puck joined Acafellas, what's the difference?
Oh, Kurt, auditioning for the role of kicker. I could just cry watching him do that dance in his little argyle socks and football helmet, while the other guys on the team just laugh. But, of course, the kid can kick, and earns his place on the team.
Sue is signing headshots and reading her hate mail when a guy from the network comes in. He's heard that some of her top Cheerios are defecting to the show choir, and worries about her ability to remain a champion. Since being a champion is really the whole basis for her having a segment on the show. DUN DUN, more reasons for her to destroy the club. Yay.
Finn finds Quinn in the hallways at school - she's been avoiding him - and when he asks what's up? Yeah, she's pregnant. His head goes buzzing for a moment after that, until he finally wants to know if it's his, what with them NEVER HAVING SEX. She convinces his poor dopey self that sperm can swim through bathing suits and hot tubs, and while I want to kill her for that, I can't help but sympathize with her sorrow as she says, "I really thought I had a chance of getting out of here."
WAIT A MINUTE. 15 minutes into the episode and, aside from "Single Ladies," we haven't had a single musical number? WHAT SHOW IS THIS?
Sue goes to creepy Sandy's house ("I'm living in a cocoon of horror!") to bring him back into the school as the "arts administrator" and blackmails Figgins to make it so. Anyways, they conspire to destroy the club by stealing Rachel with a production of Cabaret and a requirement to audition with a Celine Dion song.
(She only sings 30 seconds of the song? Seriously, I don't even recognize this show.)
Will is pissed and knows Sue is somehow behind Sandy showing up and stealing his best singer. He tries to talk to Rachel about it, but she is perfectly and honestly self-centered. She knows she's the best one in there, and she wants to be the star. It's great that he's bringing other people out of their shells, but why does he have to hurt her to do it? Oh, RACHEL. You are the Racheliest Rachel to ever Rachel.
In the auditorium, Tina sings "Tonight" and it honestly might be my favorite thing she's ever done. Is she singing it live? I can't tell. But she can't hit the last note, and that makes her stutter out the fact that she thinks Schue should give it to Rachel, anyways.
Tina leaves, and a distraught-looking Finn comes looking for Schue. He's so upset he can't even speak and just starts sobbing. Schue takes him out to the buffet for a chat. Finn is freaking out. He doesn't want to be that guy, that teen dad who never leaves Lima and is working at the grocery store or pumping gas. He needs to go to college, and for that he needs a football scholarship. And for that, he needs the team to win. He checked out a book about Walter Payton (Did you know they let you just take the books?), and thinks maybe Schue could help teach the team to dance, to loosen up. It's a win for both of them - if he can help the team win even one game, then the guys will start to trust him and maybe a few will actually join Glee club.
While they brush their teeth, Will shares the gossip with Terri about Quinn being pregnant. Her eyes light up. ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT.
Will shows up in the locker room to make his pitch about teaching the football boys to dance. (Hello Mike Chang!) Puck, in particular, is ripshit pissed about this nonsense. Will says all athletes are performers, Ken says they might as well give it a shot, and Kurt pipes up suggesting that the sheer surprise factor might be enough of a leg up on the other team. Off to the choir room with all of you smelly boys.
Will and Kurt each take a turn trying to teach them the Single Ladies dance, and Kurt's commentary on each move might be my favorite. "Oh! Sneak attack back to the ring! Comb that hair, slap that butt." I feel 100% confident that this was Chris Colfer's inner monologue as he learned this routine.
Puck and Finn leave the room together and Puck can tell Finn's upset about something. He finally gets it out of him: Finn spills the beans about Quinn being pregnant. Puck's wide-eyed horror is not, of course, just on his friend's behalf. He knows full well that Finn never slept with Quinn, but he did. Puck finds Quinn in the hallway and in a weird, awful way of nearly outing her secret, he does tell her that he'd take care of the baby, and Quinn too. His own dad might be a deadbeat, but he wouldn't be.
Quinn's not having it. She tells Puck he's a Lima Loser and always will be, and she only slept with him because she was drunk and feeling fat. She's clinging to what little she has left and sticking with loyal, popular, nice-guy quarterback Finn, not taking a risk on a guy who cleans pools in the middle of Ohio and got fired from a fast-food joint for peeing in the fryolater.
Quinn cries as she runs through the rain to her car, but SURPRISE, FUCKING PSYCHOTIC TERRI is there to ramble on about how she can't possibly raise this baby and HEY, she's got an idea. Jesus, Terri, you are scary as hell.
Time for the big football game. Finn's pep talk is "we really came together as a team this week!" Puck's response: "A gay team. A big gay team of gays." Lovely. The guys are all chickening out, though, they say there's no way they can actually pull this stunt in real life. It might have been fun in practice, but they'll be a laughingstock. Kurt stares down Finn, but Finn just heads onto the field without comment.
Burt arrives at the game and wee baby Kurt is jumping up and down with excitement, waving so his dad will see him. Oh, honey.
The game, of course, goes poorly. In the final seconds of the game, Finn has a moment of clarity and calls a time out. They've got to do it, he tells them. Puck says they'll be a joke. Finn says they're already a joke, might as well try SOMETHING to have the chance of not being Lima Losers for the rest of their lives. After telling the opposing team's defensive lineman that he slept with his mother, Puck is in. When you're already at the bottom, you don't have much to lose.
I could cry with delight at that pack of boys in full pads doing the Single Ladies dance like there's no tomorrow. And Burt's reaction in the stands just cracks me up, like maybe Kurt wasn't making all of this up in the first place. The play, of course, works, and the game is all tied up and it's time for Kurt to kick the extra point.
Oh, Kurt. Burt's worried face is me: "he's so little!" But he goes out there, queues up the Beyonce, and nails that kick. Kurt gets lifted onto everyone's shoulders; a lot can be ignored when you win the game. And Burt loses his shit in the stands, because never in a million years did he think he was going to see his little boy win a football game.
That said, one of the best moments of this scene is Puck, looking so happy that they won the game. Then he sees Finn and Quinn kissing on the sidelines, and suddenly the cheering is silent and he walks off the field alone, head down. Nicely done.
In Kurt's basement bedroom, his nighttime skincare regimen is an important part of his post-game routine, or so he tells his dad. We get our first mention that it's really just the two of them, that Kurt's mom died, but anyways Burt is really proud of Kurt and what he did tonight. Kurt, that brave boy, knows his moment has come.
He's glad his dad is proud of him, but he doesn't want to lie anymore. Between Glee Club and football, he's seen he can be anything he wants. "And what I am... is... I'm gay." He's down to almost a whisper at the end, his voice shaking and his whole body tense. But as he works up to saying it, you can see in Burt's face that he's just waiting. He knows what's coming, bless him, and he lets Kurt say it. "I've known since you were three," he says. "I love you just as much," he says. Kurt looks like he can barely believe this is happening, and collapses into his dad's arms for a hug.
Best coming out scene EVER. Kurt is so scared and so brave to do it anyways. And Burt’s face while he waits is so perfect. He’s not surprised, even if he’s not quite sure what to make of it. Regardless of his own discomfort or uncertainty, though, that’s still his son. End of story. *happy sigh*
Finn and Quinn meet up at the lockers, and Finn brings her his old ratty lovey from when he was a kid; he wants to pass it on to their baby. It's sweet, he really is trying to do the right thing. Puck, meanwhile, comes up just to be an asshole, and the tension of secrets is thick between the three of them.
We get a Sue's Corner segment while we catch up with a few people. In the choir room, we welcome three more boys (Puck, Mike, and the not-long-for-this-world Matt Rutherford), but Will persists in giving the solo to Tina, so Rachel officially quits and tells Sandy she's 100% his for Cabaret. We see Kurt finishing up his skin care after talking to his dad, still looking shell-shocked. And Sue's voice over tells us that there's a fine line between a crowd of adoring fans and a crowd of people screaming negativity at you. If you convince yourself that they're cheering, she says, eventually they actually will. Shake it up, break out of your comfort zone.
And there, in part, we have our lesson of the episode in a nutshell. People try to shake things up, for better or worse. Schue tries not to give every single song to Rachel, and gets punished by her quitting on him. Finn shakes up the football team with some dancing, and succeeds in finally winning a game, and even gets some more crossover between football and Glee just as he’d hoped. Quinn, I suppose, tried to shake a shitty day by having sex with Puck. Oops. And Kurt, I don’t think the “shaking it up” was joining football (though yay for discovering a talent you didn’t realize you had). Kurt broke out of his comfort zone by deciding not to hide, not to lie (whether overtly or by omission). Kurt faced his biggest fear and came out to his dad, and lo, the heavens opened and the angels did sing.
I really do love this episode.
(And in the meantime, there was about one minute out of 44 spent singing - half a verse of Celine Dion from Rachel and one verse of West Side Story from Tina and THAT’S IT. Compare to these days, when we tend to average a solid six songs per episode, each of which go on for at least two minutes if not more. Now, musical performances tend to make up nearly a third of the episode. Wow. I’m curious to keep watching and see if it’s a gradual shift or something that happens all at once…)