Hiatus Re-watch, Season 1 - 1x02 - Showmance
I always felt like “Showmance” was the episode that, after the novelty and excitement of the Pilot, kind of clapped its hands and got down to business. Like, “okay, here we go, this is what this show is going to do.” Not because it’s the greatest episode that Glee ever did, but maybe just as that recognition that the Pilot worked, so this takes it from a great idea to an actual series that is happening.
Obvious commentary is obvious, I guess.
Schue's got a new license plate on his crappy ass car, reading “glee,” and I rather doubt that meets the requirements of the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles. Rachel finds him in the parking lot and has more songs picked out that feature her heavily, Finn offers to carry her bag, and Mercedes, Tina and Artie are all practicing their runs. Life is good when you're Will Schuester! And oh, hey Kurt! Good morning! I'm sure that pack of menacing jocks standing around the dumpster with you are hanging on every word of your fashion advice. UGH, Schuester, I hate you much earlier this time around. Kurt's face is pure loathing and disbelief at his willful ignorance at the shit he puts up with every day.
Emma, meantime, is stalking Schue in the hallway. Oy. But Santana's first line is to pass Wemma and tell them to get a room. Good call, Santana. Anyways Sue wants to see Will. She'd like to rub in the threat of the club being canceled, and she's been researching show choir rules. The magical minimum of 12 members! She's already telling him to proactively kill the club. La la la, he will not be intimidated, he believes in his kids, etc.
In the hallways, Quinn is giving Finn a raft of shit for jeopardizing their mutual popularity by being in the Glee Club. He thinks she's overreacting, but she offers that if he quits, he can touch her boob. CLASSY. Speaking of classy, Rachel is two lockers down trying not to make it too obvious that she's hanging on every word (not that she has much of a choice; Quinn is hardly keeping quiet). Despite rumors that he's now gay, Finn still doesn't want to quit the club. Quinn confronts Rachel for eavesdropping and there's a bit of "you'll never have him," and Rachel shoots back with some overdone confidence of her own... until she turns to walk away and gets a double slushie in the face.
New Directions still sounds like amateur hour as they try "Le Freak" in the choir room. Rachel has her show smile plastered to her face, Kurt looks like he could murder someone, or maybe walk a runway, and the rest of them are just kind of fumbling as best they can. Everyone agrees, though, that the song sucks balls. Schue says it's not up for discussion, they're performing it in front of the whole school on Friday because they need recruits. Also, because when Schue performed this song, it won Nationals! SIXTEEN YEARS AGO, dude. The kids know perfectly well it only means they'll get fruit thrown at them.
Will and Terri Schuester are out visiting model homes that they can't possibly afford, thanks to some helpful advice from Terri's insane sister and her hellion children. Terri is her usual awful self acting like it's Sophie's Choice to decide between the grand foyer and the sun nook, but Will takes her so seriously that he claims he'll do whatever it takes to make her happy. Will, you're an idiot.
Back in the choir room, Schue tries to offer some Kanye as an olive branch. Despite wanting to severely mock him for rapping, it's still kind of a fun number (if kind of inappropriate for a teacher, as always). At least the kids look like they're having fun. I'm just watching Kurt with his plaid golf pants and shimmy and face full of disdain.
Emma finds Rachel in the bathroom attempting to throw up, but apparently she has no gag reflex. "Some day, when you're older, that will turn out to be a gift." JESUS, this show. Anyways, time for a conversation with the guidance counselor and her spectacular pamphlets. Rachel isn't actually bulimic at the moment, but she really wishes she could be skinny and pretty like Quinn. "Have you ever liked someone so much that you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music, and cry?" Oh no, I'm sure Emma knows nothing about that. HA, the cut of her sobbing in the car is one of my all-time favorite things. Emma is comedic gold in this scene.
In Figgins's office, Finn and Rachel are in the hot seat while Sue fumes and Schuester looks concerned. Sue makes it sound like they were found having sex in church, but their scandalous behavior was actually that they used the Cheerios photocopier to make a dozen fliers for Glee Club.
They manage to escape Sue's guillotine, but Schue still acts all disappointed that they would dare MAKE POSTERS. Suck it up, you're going to perform a song that will surely get you laughed at or possibly beaten up.
OH GOOD, Schuesters in the bathtub. MY EYES. MY BRAIN. THE DEMANDING WHINY TERRI. I'm overloaded on her already. But Will continues to be a pushover and offers to take a nighttime janitorial position at the school for half salary just to make more money for Terri to spend. Gross.
Celibacy club meeting, and look! It's Brittany! The unholy trinity is complete! Rachel has joined the club in an attempt to find common ground with Finn, but turns out the girls and boys meet separately. The girls are all about the teasing and not about the pleasing. The boys are tossing around footballs and talking about how to avoid premature ejaculation. Finn's got a foolproof plan on that front, though, having nearly killed a public employee once.
Back to the co-ed portion of the meeting, they practice dancing with a balloon between them, because if it pops, the angels cry. Finn's pops, and Rachel calls shenanigans on the fact that abstinence education doesn't work, anyways.
Late night at the school, Emma finds Will working as a janitor and he's a bit embarrassed about it. But hey, she knows a thing or two about cleaning, so she offers to help. "You helped me with one of my problems," says Will, "now let me take a stab at one of yours." Yep, WILL FUCKING SCHUESTER TO THE RESCUE and wow I have a lot of pent up anger towards this guy. Don't worry, Emma, he'll cure your OCD by putting chalk dust on your nose without your permission. Oh, and in this moment, her OCD was caused by an incident at a dairy farm with her brother, not her ginger-supremacist parents. In case you were wondering.
There's supposed to be some serious sexual tension here, but all I have is rage. *sigh* Definitely can't actually go back to my original Season 1 eyes at this point.
Rachel calls a secret meeting of the Glee Club to order, and has decided that they should give the students at the assembly what they want. "Blood?" asks Kurt. "No, better," says Rachel. "Sex." She knows all about the pent-up sexual frustration at this school after her one meeting of the Celibacy Club.
Assembly time, and Will tells the students that when HE went to this school, Glee Club was super cool. I'm sure that will be very persuasive, jackass. He introduces the group, but this ain't no disco. They bump and grind to Salt & Pepa's "Push It" and my uncomfortable giggle/grin of both delight and secondhand embarrassment is SO STRONG right now. The reactions in the crowd are priceless. Emma's grooving in her seat, Figgins is blissed out, Sue is appalled, and Jacob Ben Israel is gonna start humping something. Kurt, Jesus, why do you have a tiny fanny pack? It’s freaking me out a little.
In the principal's office, Sue claims that was the most offensive thing she's seen in 20 years of teaching. Oh, honey, there are so many things to come that are worse than that. She, naturally, demands Schuester's resignation, but Figgins just offers a list of family-friendly songs that they should choose from in the future, all of whose titles contain either "Jesus" or "balloon." ("What's a luftballon?" Rachel wonders.)
In a strangely compelling scene in the staff room, Ken Tanaka has a moment of self-awareness. Not only does he offer Emma tickets to a tulip show instead of monster trucks, but when she makes up a flimsy excuse, he calls her out on chasing a married man. He tries to convince her to give him a chance, with sad-but-not-totally-untrue reasoning like the fact that he can provide for her because he's a minority and will never get fired. "You could do a lot worse, and in this town you're not gonna do much better." It's sad and dark and obviously flawed, like when he says he'll "put up with her crazy," but it's depressingly real.
Say what you will, even Glee’s craziest and most awful characters are frequently allowed to be multidimensional.
In the auditorium, Rachel tries to coach Finn on his singing a bit, and she is sweet and encouraging (and wearing a skirt that only barely covers her ass, my god, how does she sit?). Oh, and she's prepared a picnic, since singing makes him hungry. He talks about how he first thought she was crazy, but once she sang, it really touched him. They're cute and sweet and so attracted to each other and despite being weirded out that he LIES HER DOWN to kiss her, I am having such bittersweet Finchel feelings.
Until, of course, he pops a boner and freaks out and imagines the nearly-dead postal worker and his mother's screams and runs out of there, leaving Rachel feeling like she has horribly, horribly messed up instead of just really succeeded in turning him on.
Oh, and then Terri goes to the doctor and finds out she's not actually pregnant. Oops.
Unholy trinity time, and they’re auditioning for the Glee Club. Quinn doesn't trust Finn out of her sight. They fear Sue's retribution for joining the club, but it turns out Sue is happy to have them there as spies.
Schuester finds Emma scrubbing water fountains with a toothbrush and tries to flirt with disinfectant wipes. But Emma has always been a better person than him, and calls him out for flirting while he's married with a baby on the way. Anyways, she's going on that date with Ken. It clearly pains her to give up on her dream of Will and settle for Ken, but in a twisted way I respect her for it. She doesn't actually want to be the person who chases a married man. Not that dating Ken ought to be the solution, but at least she's trying something else, I guess.
At the Schuester apartment, Will comes home from a night shift and Terri is waiting with a lighter and freaking me out with flashes to the same actress's role in Heroes. (I couldn't let myself watch that show after 4PM or I'd have nightmares. I'm such a wuss.) She sits him down to dinner and almost looks like she might confess the actual news of her fake pregnancy, but at the last second spits out "it's a boy!" (Don't get me started on pregnancy dates and gender determination via ultrasound. Just don't.) But she's feeling guilty enough that she at least backs off of sending them into financial ruin with the new house they can't afford.
In the choir room, Rachel is livid that Quinn gets a solo instead of her, but at least Quinn's song was on Figgins's approved list. Rachel is certain Schue is punishing her, but he reminds her that, in fact, not everything is about her. And while she may not always be the star (bite your tongue Will Schuester!), he'll at least try to make sure she's having fun. Rachel looks like she wants to tell him to take his “fun” and shove it.
In the meantime, I'm distracted because I'm 99% sure she's wearing the same outfit that is in the creepy painting of her during "Blame it on the Alcohol," and apparently now I'm going to craft an elaborate headcanon around the fact that today was the day she sat for that portrait. Ugh. Fangirl problems. I know too much.
She sings out her disappointment at Finn's rejection and the potential lack of spotlight with "Take a Bow" in the auditorium and her bedroom mirror (as well as in the hallway sort-of creepily singing at Finn while he smiles at Quinn). "But it's over now," she sings dramatically. In the second episode. Oh Rachel, you've got a whole lot of story yet to be told. But I appreciate your flair for drama.
“Showmance,” you are a totally solid episode, and back in the day, completely held the interest that started with the Pilot. I knew I really, really wanted to watch this show and find out what happened next.
With however many years of hindsight, I’m a lot less interested in the adult side of things. I remember feeling invested at the time, but now all I can see his how awful Will Schuester is, and I have almost no tolerance for Terri’s whiny craziness.
But I love Rachel’s wide-eyed determination, whether it’s for being a star or being hopelessly infatuated with Finn. She’s playing with fire, a little bit, trying to get in between Finn and Quinn. She just strikes me as so young and naive. She’s still the same Rachel Berry I know and love, though. She makes sense to me. It’s fun re-watching her build up the history that I now take for granted. (Even with the terribly sad knowledge that she and Finn will never get their happy ending.)
Most of the other characters (Kurt and the rest of New Directions, Santana, Puck, Brittany and the rest) are still pretty firmly in the background at this point. And while I eagerly look forward to getting more from each of them, it’s a really solid way to slowly build up your world and your ensemble. And it makes me side-eye the start of Season 4 in contrast, when they just shoved New New Directions down our throats and said, with no build-up, JARLEY IS THE COUPLE YOU CARE ABOUT NOW. Um, no. No it isn’t.
But I digress. This is Season 1, and it has a whole lot going in its favor.
Back soon with “Acafellas!”
Obvious commentary is obvious, I guess.
Schue's got a new license plate on his crappy ass car, reading “glee,” and I rather doubt that meets the requirements of the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles. Rachel finds him in the parking lot and has more songs picked out that feature her heavily, Finn offers to carry her bag, and Mercedes, Tina and Artie are all practicing their runs. Life is good when you're Will Schuester! And oh, hey Kurt! Good morning! I'm sure that pack of menacing jocks standing around the dumpster with you are hanging on every word of your fashion advice. UGH, Schuester, I hate you much earlier this time around. Kurt's face is pure loathing and disbelief at his willful ignorance at the shit he puts up with every day.
Emma, meantime, is stalking Schue in the hallway. Oy. But Santana's first line is to pass Wemma and tell them to get a room. Good call, Santana. Anyways Sue wants to see Will. She'd like to rub in the threat of the club being canceled, and she's been researching show choir rules. The magical minimum of 12 members! She's already telling him to proactively kill the club. La la la, he will not be intimidated, he believes in his kids, etc.
In the hallways, Quinn is giving Finn a raft of shit for jeopardizing their mutual popularity by being in the Glee Club. He thinks she's overreacting, but she offers that if he quits, he can touch her boob. CLASSY. Speaking of classy, Rachel is two lockers down trying not to make it too obvious that she's hanging on every word (not that she has much of a choice; Quinn is hardly keeping quiet). Despite rumors that he's now gay, Finn still doesn't want to quit the club. Quinn confronts Rachel for eavesdropping and there's a bit of "you'll never have him," and Rachel shoots back with some overdone confidence of her own... until she turns to walk away and gets a double slushie in the face.
New Directions still sounds like amateur hour as they try "Le Freak" in the choir room. Rachel has her show smile plastered to her face, Kurt looks like he could murder someone, or maybe walk a runway, and the rest of them are just kind of fumbling as best they can. Everyone agrees, though, that the song sucks balls. Schue says it's not up for discussion, they're performing it in front of the whole school on Friday because they need recruits. Also, because when Schue performed this song, it won Nationals! SIXTEEN YEARS AGO, dude. The kids know perfectly well it only means they'll get fruit thrown at them.
Will and Terri Schuester are out visiting model homes that they can't possibly afford, thanks to some helpful advice from Terri's insane sister and her hellion children. Terri is her usual awful self acting like it's Sophie's Choice to decide between the grand foyer and the sun nook, but Will takes her so seriously that he claims he'll do whatever it takes to make her happy. Will, you're an idiot.
Back in the choir room, Schue tries to offer some Kanye as an olive branch. Despite wanting to severely mock him for rapping, it's still kind of a fun number (if kind of inappropriate for a teacher, as always). At least the kids look like they're having fun. I'm just watching Kurt with his plaid golf pants and shimmy and face full of disdain.
Emma finds Rachel in the bathroom attempting to throw up, but apparently she has no gag reflex. "Some day, when you're older, that will turn out to be a gift." JESUS, this show. Anyways, time for a conversation with the guidance counselor and her spectacular pamphlets. Rachel isn't actually bulimic at the moment, but she really wishes she could be skinny and pretty like Quinn. "Have you ever liked someone so much that you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music, and cry?" Oh no, I'm sure Emma knows nothing about that. HA, the cut of her sobbing in the car is one of my all-time favorite things. Emma is comedic gold in this scene.
In Figgins's office, Finn and Rachel are in the hot seat while Sue fumes and Schuester looks concerned. Sue makes it sound like they were found having sex in church, but their scandalous behavior was actually that they used the Cheerios photocopier to make a dozen fliers for Glee Club.
They manage to escape Sue's guillotine, but Schue still acts all disappointed that they would dare MAKE POSTERS. Suck it up, you're going to perform a song that will surely get you laughed at or possibly beaten up.
OH GOOD, Schuesters in the bathtub. MY EYES. MY BRAIN. THE DEMANDING WHINY TERRI. I'm overloaded on her already. But Will continues to be a pushover and offers to take a nighttime janitorial position at the school for half salary just to make more money for Terri to spend. Gross.
Celibacy club meeting, and look! It's Brittany! The unholy trinity is complete! Rachel has joined the club in an attempt to find common ground with Finn, but turns out the girls and boys meet separately. The girls are all about the teasing and not about the pleasing. The boys are tossing around footballs and talking about how to avoid premature ejaculation. Finn's got a foolproof plan on that front, though, having nearly killed a public employee once.
Back to the co-ed portion of the meeting, they practice dancing with a balloon between them, because if it pops, the angels cry. Finn's pops, and Rachel calls shenanigans on the fact that abstinence education doesn't work, anyways.
Late night at the school, Emma finds Will working as a janitor and he's a bit embarrassed about it. But hey, she knows a thing or two about cleaning, so she offers to help. "You helped me with one of my problems," says Will, "now let me take a stab at one of yours." Yep, WILL FUCKING SCHUESTER TO THE RESCUE and wow I have a lot of pent up anger towards this guy. Don't worry, Emma, he'll cure your OCD by putting chalk dust on your nose without your permission. Oh, and in this moment, her OCD was caused by an incident at a dairy farm with her brother, not her ginger-supremacist parents. In case you were wondering.
There's supposed to be some serious sexual tension here, but all I have is rage. *sigh* Definitely can't actually go back to my original Season 1 eyes at this point.
Rachel calls a secret meeting of the Glee Club to order, and has decided that they should give the students at the assembly what they want. "Blood?" asks Kurt. "No, better," says Rachel. "Sex." She knows all about the pent-up sexual frustration at this school after her one meeting of the Celibacy Club.
Assembly time, and Will tells the students that when HE went to this school, Glee Club was super cool. I'm sure that will be very persuasive, jackass. He introduces the group, but this ain't no disco. They bump and grind to Salt & Pepa's "Push It" and my uncomfortable giggle/grin of both delight and secondhand embarrassment is SO STRONG right now. The reactions in the crowd are priceless. Emma's grooving in her seat, Figgins is blissed out, Sue is appalled, and Jacob Ben Israel is gonna start humping something. Kurt, Jesus, why do you have a tiny fanny pack? It’s freaking me out a little.
In the principal's office, Sue claims that was the most offensive thing she's seen in 20 years of teaching. Oh, honey, there are so many things to come that are worse than that. She, naturally, demands Schuester's resignation, but Figgins just offers a list of family-friendly songs that they should choose from in the future, all of whose titles contain either "Jesus" or "balloon." ("What's a luftballon?" Rachel wonders.)
In a strangely compelling scene in the staff room, Ken Tanaka has a moment of self-awareness. Not only does he offer Emma tickets to a tulip show instead of monster trucks, but when she makes up a flimsy excuse, he calls her out on chasing a married man. He tries to convince her to give him a chance, with sad-but-not-totally-untrue reasoning like the fact that he can provide for her because he's a minority and will never get fired. "You could do a lot worse, and in this town you're not gonna do much better." It's sad and dark and obviously flawed, like when he says he'll "put up with her crazy," but it's depressingly real.
Say what you will, even Glee’s craziest and most awful characters are frequently allowed to be multidimensional.
In the auditorium, Rachel tries to coach Finn on his singing a bit, and she is sweet and encouraging (and wearing a skirt that only barely covers her ass, my god, how does she sit?). Oh, and she's prepared a picnic, since singing makes him hungry. He talks about how he first thought she was crazy, but once she sang, it really touched him. They're cute and sweet and so attracted to each other and despite being weirded out that he LIES HER DOWN to kiss her, I am having such bittersweet Finchel feelings.
Until, of course, he pops a boner and freaks out and imagines the nearly-dead postal worker and his mother's screams and runs out of there, leaving Rachel feeling like she has horribly, horribly messed up instead of just really succeeded in turning him on.
Oh, and then Terri goes to the doctor and finds out she's not actually pregnant. Oops.
Unholy trinity time, and they’re auditioning for the Glee Club. Quinn doesn't trust Finn out of her sight. They fear Sue's retribution for joining the club, but it turns out Sue is happy to have them there as spies.
Schuester finds Emma scrubbing water fountains with a toothbrush and tries to flirt with disinfectant wipes. But Emma has always been a better person than him, and calls him out for flirting while he's married with a baby on the way. Anyways, she's going on that date with Ken. It clearly pains her to give up on her dream of Will and settle for Ken, but in a twisted way I respect her for it. She doesn't actually want to be the person who chases a married man. Not that dating Ken ought to be the solution, but at least she's trying something else, I guess.
At the Schuester apartment, Will comes home from a night shift and Terri is waiting with a lighter and freaking me out with flashes to the same actress's role in Heroes. (I couldn't let myself watch that show after 4PM or I'd have nightmares. I'm such a wuss.) She sits him down to dinner and almost looks like she might confess the actual news of her fake pregnancy, but at the last second spits out "it's a boy!" (Don't get me started on pregnancy dates and gender determination via ultrasound. Just don't.) But she's feeling guilty enough that she at least backs off of sending them into financial ruin with the new house they can't afford.
In the choir room, Rachel is livid that Quinn gets a solo instead of her, but at least Quinn's song was on Figgins's approved list. Rachel is certain Schue is punishing her, but he reminds her that, in fact, not everything is about her. And while she may not always be the star (bite your tongue Will Schuester!), he'll at least try to make sure she's having fun. Rachel looks like she wants to tell him to take his “fun” and shove it.
In the meantime, I'm distracted because I'm 99% sure she's wearing the same outfit that is in the creepy painting of her during "Blame it on the Alcohol," and apparently now I'm going to craft an elaborate headcanon around the fact that today was the day she sat for that portrait. Ugh. Fangirl problems. I know too much.
She sings out her disappointment at Finn's rejection and the potential lack of spotlight with "Take a Bow" in the auditorium and her bedroom mirror (as well as in the hallway sort-of creepily singing at Finn while he smiles at Quinn). "But it's over now," she sings dramatically. In the second episode. Oh Rachel, you've got a whole lot of story yet to be told. But I appreciate your flair for drama.
“Showmance,” you are a totally solid episode, and back in the day, completely held the interest that started with the Pilot. I knew I really, really wanted to watch this show and find out what happened next.
With however many years of hindsight, I’m a lot less interested in the adult side of things. I remember feeling invested at the time, but now all I can see his how awful Will Schuester is, and I have almost no tolerance for Terri’s whiny craziness.
But I love Rachel’s wide-eyed determination, whether it’s for being a star or being hopelessly infatuated with Finn. She’s playing with fire, a little bit, trying to get in between Finn and Quinn. She just strikes me as so young and naive. She’s still the same Rachel Berry I know and love, though. She makes sense to me. It’s fun re-watching her build up the history that I now take for granted. (Even with the terribly sad knowledge that she and Finn will never get their happy ending.)
Most of the other characters (Kurt and the rest of New Directions, Santana, Puck, Brittany and the rest) are still pretty firmly in the background at this point. And while I eagerly look forward to getting more from each of them, it’s a really solid way to slowly build up your world and your ensemble. And it makes me side-eye the start of Season 4 in contrast, when they just shoved New New Directions down our throats and said, with no build-up, JARLEY IS THE COUPLE YOU CARE ABOUT NOW. Um, no. No it isn’t.
But I digress. This is Season 1, and it has a whole lot going in its favor.
Back soon with “Acafellas!”