weird
for half a minute i was considering reading the bible and watching a religious documentary. wait. that is what i am going to do.
after i just say that i SUCK at hating people. i've tried SOOOOOOOOOOO hard. but i don't hate tom. i hate the way he lives his life. i hate seeing him. i hate that he crushed my trust and my innocence and fucked my perception of right and wrong for a while. but he taught me so much. not just sucky things but also about hope and faith and how to cope and enjoy life. there is nothing there anymore. i look at him and i don't know who he is. but for the sake of what i learned and who i am now, i thank him for those little lessons.
and it has just been in the last year that i have realized how quickly time passes. how fast people pass away from us. how quickly friendships die. and are made. someday i will see Tom and we won't speak.we will make eye contact and drop it quickly, burning the saddness that ...No 16 and 18...it was just one year in our life. one adventure. one adventure. there will be millions of others. but it was one that taught me to expect the others. the one that taught me not to judge not to forget and not to let go.
good bye house. eaten alive. good bye broken window. back porch. yellow couch and mantle shelf.
its not a choice anymore. there is nothing to come home to.
after i just say that i SUCK at hating people. i've tried SOOOOOOOOOOO hard. but i don't hate tom. i hate the way he lives his life. i hate seeing him. i hate that he crushed my trust and my innocence and fucked my perception of right and wrong for a while. but he taught me so much. not just sucky things but also about hope and faith and how to cope and enjoy life. there is nothing there anymore. i look at him and i don't know who he is. but for the sake of what i learned and who i am now, i thank him for those little lessons.
and it has just been in the last year that i have realized how quickly time passes. how fast people pass away from us. how quickly friendships die. and are made. someday i will see Tom and we won't speak.we will make eye contact and drop it quickly, burning the saddness that ...No 16 and 18...it was just one year in our life. one adventure. one adventure. there will be millions of others. but it was one that taught me to expect the others. the one that taught me not to judge not to forget and not to let go.
good bye house. eaten alive. good bye broken window. back porch. yellow couch and mantle shelf.
its not a choice anymore. there is nothing to come home to.