laziness
having no job gives me too much time to think about all kinds of nonsense. i've reached the point where i'm too lazy to update LJ cos there are so many things going through my head that it just seems like too much to put in here. but to sum up chinese new year....
day one was unexpectedly pleasant - probably due to the fact we've stopped visiting certain people and so the number of places we've visited has gone down from 10 to 8. thank goodness!
day two everyone came over - chaotic but fun.
day three - peace again in my kingdom.
every new year i find it amazing how different everyone's level of contentment is and this year, i've realised that my discontentment is my main motivation - i want to have more knowledge, i want to have more money, i want to have a job i love etc etc. but i also recall the piece someone wrote about finding the things that suit you and sticking with those - is that what i'm looking for, or will what i have, whether knowledge, money, whatever, never be enough? there are certain things that i will never settle for less than what i want, but at which point does that stop being ambition/self-improvement and collapse into blindness and insecurity?
day one was unexpectedly pleasant - probably due to the fact we've stopped visiting certain people and so the number of places we've visited has gone down from 10 to 8. thank goodness!
day two everyone came over - chaotic but fun.
day three - peace again in my kingdom.
every new year i find it amazing how different everyone's level of contentment is and this year, i've realised that my discontentment is my main motivation - i want to have more knowledge, i want to have more money, i want to have a job i love etc etc. but i also recall the piece someone wrote about finding the things that suit you and sticking with those - is that what i'm looking for, or will what i have, whether knowledge, money, whatever, never be enough? there are certain things that i will never settle for less than what i want, but at which point does that stop being ambition/self-improvement and collapse into blindness and insecurity?