expansion
the past two weeks have been kind of strange for me.
in a spirit of expansion, i have been slowly and gently tugging on the strings of my attatchments... to see how attatched they really are.
some things are as painful for me as they have always been... which is such a strange occurance in these days where i feel and see and hear as i really never have before. i cried a couple of times. i haven't done that in a long time.
i'm frustrated because i have sincerely been trying to sever these ties to bad memories and worse coping skills... i'm not sure what else to do.
i've always been able to recognize small circles and patterns in my life. but, i'm starting to see large ones now... maybe because i've finally lived long enough to have large circles and cycles (?) or because i've just gained enough experience to know.
this is why the whole thing started in the first place. i felt like i was starting to go around again through a cycle that seems... all too familiar.
i haven't remembered any dreams (or nightmares) lately. but if i did, they would be repeats of past dreams acted out by the understudies.
p.s. this is the first day in months that i have absolutely no requirements.
in a spirit of expansion, i have been slowly and gently tugging on the strings of my attatchments... to see how attatched they really are.
some things are as painful for me as they have always been... which is such a strange occurance in these days where i feel and see and hear as i really never have before. i cried a couple of times. i haven't done that in a long time.
i'm frustrated because i have sincerely been trying to sever these ties to bad memories and worse coping skills... i'm not sure what else to do.
i've always been able to recognize small circles and patterns in my life. but, i'm starting to see large ones now... maybe because i've finally lived long enough to have large circles and cycles (?) or because i've just gained enough experience to know.
this is why the whole thing started in the first place. i felt like i was starting to go around again through a cycle that seems... all too familiar.
i haven't remembered any dreams (or nightmares) lately. but if i did, they would be repeats of past dreams acted out by the understudies.
p.s. this is the first day in months that i have absolutely no requirements.