once again...confused

[livingforlove]

dont know what to do...i have been so confused ...al i rely opn now is my music...there is nothing else that gives me hope...love...and feels the same way i do...i just dont understand myself...i started cutting again....not good...i guess its better than biting..i mean...no infection...i have been cutting my thighs...really high up cus dad found out bout my chest so i switched...hew wont expect it there...

i dont know what to do.....i just wanna cry...i just dont want this life anymore....im so fucking ugly i cant get a guy i am fuckin fat as hell and my face is butt ass fuckin ugly.... i cant do this anymore.i just IMed Jackson and she didnt know it was me cus ive never talked to her and she didnt know my sn and this is how it went

female69freak: whats up nigga?
female69freak: oh my bad
female69freak: oooooops
jackson : what?
female69freak: please fogive me
jackson : why?
jackson : you dont want to talk to me?
female69freak: i said the n word
female69freak: your black
jackson : i dont care
female69freak: thanks
jackson : lol only by birth
female69freak: so whats up?\\
jackson : nothin much
jackson : wanna play?
female69freak: its brandy
female69freak: .............
jackson : oh
jackson : ........i was talking about chess
jackson : chess...really...i was
female69freak: okay...i belive you
jackson : ummm...yeah...sorry bout that i didnt know it was you

OKAY THEN! well im gonna go...any advice?