drinking and false hopes/illusions
i havent drunk in a long time, but i did tonight and it was fun. however, this is the reason it doesnt work for me: i forget my divinity, i go into false hopes and illusions, especially in the sense of hooking up with girls, which in a drunk state isnt fulfilling anyway...did that twice a while back and it was like i was someone else. but dancing was fun. that was good. i got an email from my mentor that made me feel better, and i know who i am now, even drunk, i can remind myself and i am grateful for the experience. all i want to do is love and create. love my friends and family, love a woman, love creating music and other art, love every moment. i am so lucky for the awareness of what is real and what is not and how powerful i am as a creator. i am grateful.