I'm really not that bad...
So yesterday, I worked like all day... I was so tired, but the time did go by really fast and it wasn't bad work... just sucks I'm not gonna get paid until like next friday!
Later in the evening, I was so bored when Ivan called me and invited me over for drinks, so I agreed. I went over and we just chilled and talked. It was actually quite nice, and much to my suprise, I was able to control my liquor... I only had 2 drinks throughout the several hour course I was there.
Scott even joined us after a few hours, and I decided to actually be nice this time, because I really had no reason being mean to him in the first place, and we ended up getting along really well. He's actually a pretty cool guy. I think it's just that whole thing where it bugs you because of like my feelings for Ivan, which are always so mixed... Like I have this comfort with him. It's like sometimes I want him, sometimes I just want to talk to him, it's weird. We actually havn't done anything past friends since he has been back. So I don't know... I guess what happens, happens, and only time can tell.
Antonio called me last night drunk. Ugh... I just can't stand it when he calls me and he is always fucked up and I am trying to live a somewhat sober life now, and I don't know... It's just frustrating. And really, I don't know how to take this relationship. I mean, I guess we are still together, but he lives in ABQ and he has already said twice he was going to come see me and he hasn't, and right now, my situation doesn't really permit me to go see him, otherwise I would. To add to that, he already told me that he was "so sexually frustrated and needed to fuck someone" which is when we decided to have a open relationship, but I think monogomy is the basis of a relationship, and I mean I really didn't feel the need to be intimate with anyone else, but apparently he did, and so to me, it feels like it's hardly a relationship.
Today, I had to wake up at like 9 to take my car to the shop, because they finally got a piece in it was missing, and I'm just hoping they don't take forever, because I have places to be and people to see... lol
Later in the evening, I was so bored when Ivan called me and invited me over for drinks, so I agreed. I went over and we just chilled and talked. It was actually quite nice, and much to my suprise, I was able to control my liquor... I only had 2 drinks throughout the several hour course I was there.
Scott even joined us after a few hours, and I decided to actually be nice this time, because I really had no reason being mean to him in the first place, and we ended up getting along really well. He's actually a pretty cool guy. I think it's just that whole thing where it bugs you because of like my feelings for Ivan, which are always so mixed... Like I have this comfort with him. It's like sometimes I want him, sometimes I just want to talk to him, it's weird. We actually havn't done anything past friends since he has been back. So I don't know... I guess what happens, happens, and only time can tell.
Antonio called me last night drunk. Ugh... I just can't stand it when he calls me and he is always fucked up and I am trying to live a somewhat sober life now, and I don't know... It's just frustrating. And really, I don't know how to take this relationship. I mean, I guess we are still together, but he lives in ABQ and he has already said twice he was going to come see me and he hasn't, and right now, my situation doesn't really permit me to go see him, otherwise I would. To add to that, he already told me that he was "so sexually frustrated and needed to fuck someone" which is when we decided to have a open relationship, but I think monogomy is the basis of a relationship, and I mean I really didn't feel the need to be intimate with anyone else, but apparently he did, and so to me, it feels like it's hardly a relationship.
Today, I had to wake up at like 9 to take my car to the shop, because they finally got a piece in it was missing, and I'm just hoping they don't take forever, because I have places to be and people to see... lol