this could perhaps explain alot
Annonymous Pursuer: then tell me about yourself i want to know what behind those looks
Matt: theres someone that has never lived a dull day in his life... there's someone who is immensely intelligent to the point he ends up getting himself in a great deal of trouble
Matt: someone like me cant seem to color inside the lines
Matt: cant seem to get by the way the rest of the world does
Matt: yet for some reason... i never seem to pay the price, no matter what i do, something carries me out
Matt: and life gets better everytime something terrible is incurred
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Today, I basically did nothin for much of the day. Then I went to meet up with KarloZ around 7:30, so we could attend the "Rainbow Recovery" AA meeting. We got there and there were only 3 other people... one of which was just inquiring on the subject because he found out his partner of 30 years was a alcaholic and he was completely oblivious to the fact, one of which was not a alcaholic, but a addict and co-dependant, and the other which was a alcaholic and and addict(He was actually very attractive for his age... he must have been at least in his early 40's). We found ourselves opening up alot to these men, and it was quite an interesting meeting in which I felt I got a lot out of. At the end of the meeting, I even had a very nice chat with the man who had found out his partner of 30 years was a alcaholic, and I think I really helped him with it. He was just the person I needed to talk to and I felt I was just the one he needed to talk to. I could just see the hurt in his eye from the love he had for his partner and it almost broke my heart, to the point I saw my reflection in his eye, showing me how much I had hurt others while I had become such a lush. In that instant, I didn't want to stop this drug abuse for myself, but for all those who I love so much.
May God Bless all those who have prayed for me...
After the meeting, I went to visit Rojer, and luckily he is no longer moving! It seems like things are just falling back into place. I have a job that's better than any I could have asked for, in which simply fell on my lap. I am getting my friends and family back. I am ready to start school again. I am able to go out again without getting wasted. I am completely unsuicidal. I have coped with the fact that I had issues going on, and I am readily willing to admit it in order to repair myself and help others from getting to that point.
It seems like winter is just ending so quickly and the sun is getting brighter every coming day.
Matt: theres someone that has never lived a dull day in his life... there's someone who is immensely intelligent to the point he ends up getting himself in a great deal of trouble
Matt: someone like me cant seem to color inside the lines
Matt: cant seem to get by the way the rest of the world does
Matt: yet for some reason... i never seem to pay the price, no matter what i do, something carries me out
Matt: and life gets better everytime something terrible is incurred
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, I basically did nothin for much of the day. Then I went to meet up with KarloZ around 7:30, so we could attend the "Rainbow Recovery" AA meeting. We got there and there were only 3 other people... one of which was just inquiring on the subject because he found out his partner of 30 years was a alcaholic and he was completely oblivious to the fact, one of which was not a alcaholic, but a addict and co-dependant, and the other which was a alcaholic and and addict(He was actually very attractive for his age... he must have been at least in his early 40's). We found ourselves opening up alot to these men, and it was quite an interesting meeting in which I felt I got a lot out of. At the end of the meeting, I even had a very nice chat with the man who had found out his partner of 30 years was a alcaholic, and I think I really helped him with it. He was just the person I needed to talk to and I felt I was just the one he needed to talk to. I could just see the hurt in his eye from the love he had for his partner and it almost broke my heart, to the point I saw my reflection in his eye, showing me how much I had hurt others while I had become such a lush. In that instant, I didn't want to stop this drug abuse for myself, but for all those who I love so much.
May God Bless all those who have prayed for me...
After the meeting, I went to visit Rojer, and luckily he is no longer moving! It seems like things are just falling back into place. I have a job that's better than any I could have asked for, in which simply fell on my lap. I am getting my friends and family back. I am ready to start school again. I am able to go out again without getting wasted. I am completely unsuicidal. I have coped with the fact that I had issues going on, and I am readily willing to admit it in order to repair myself and help others from getting to that point.
It seems like winter is just ending so quickly and the sun is getting brighter every coming day.