lots of time...
Alright, so everything is going well with work and school. Nothing really new there, its actually been really nice having a non stop schedule. A schedule like that keeps my mind off of other things. When it comes to guys I am still veyr confused. Its so hard for me to trust any of them anymore. After the summer and like the begining of this year I have had a total of like 5 guys try and cheat on their girlfriends with me. Where does that leave me, it leaves me feeling like a crappy peice of meat and it leaves me feeling like I want to be a lesbian. I mean who wants to have to deal with a guy who is most likely at one point in time going to consider cheating on you. Guys really do suck. At the same time, I have always tried to convince others and myself that I don't need a guy, tell everyone that the reason I have never had a boyfreind is because I never wanted one. Is that really the truth though? I can't tell, I change my mind like every day about this. Certain days I would love to have that someone to cuddle with and goof around with and then other days I thank god that I can still be flirty and have fun with all of my guy freinds without the hassle of having to answer to a significant other. I don't know, I am sick of being alone and sick of just wanting someone to call when I am bored. I am not sure if that is reason to want a boyfreind or a guy freind that I can flirt with. I have done the freinds with benefits method before and its worked, but I think I might be a little too old for all of that drama it brings along with it. I dont' know, I am just thinking alot lately. Twenty years old and and yet to have a boyfreind, is that something to be worried about or something to be proud of. I mean I could have wasted my time on a guy I figured stuff wouldn't have really worked out with. I dont' know, but I am pretty sure my brain is completely bored of thinking about this, so I am done for tonight. Untill next time....