(no subject)
So tonight I found out a personal flaw in myself. And the damage it causes.
How I never noticed it before I just don't know. But I think I always had an inkling that something like that was real.
I am never happy. Correct. The most happy I've been is having this house to myself basically for the last week. Just the quietness, the aloneness, its peaceful cause there is no bitching from mom to get shit done, so i can get it done at my own pace.
But this never happy thing goes deep to the point of partnership, companionship, i dont fucking know. Women don't want desperate, thats all i hear, well, i've definitely taken that out of the picture. But that isn't what i'm talking about.
By me not being happy, I drive the nails into everybody else so they aren't either. And I don't realize it until I'm to late. I don't know why and I hate it. And it took my "brother from another mother" and his ex hooking up again for me to finally see it.
No wonder I've always been alone.