the change is only your perception.
I suppose I shouldnt blame myself, but at the same time it is a little my fault that peoples perceptions of me were slightly different than I really am! I let boundaries contain my imagination, I let limits ward my self expression. I let that someone else paid for my life persuade my way of life. I chose values and standards to live by a long time ago. I am still living them, but I think that people heard what they wanted to and saw what they wanted to and made things out to be different, made me out to be different than I really am. Yea change happens to us all, yes things have changed about me, but I haven't. Whats changes is the ways I use to show people who I am. An artist starts out using acrylics because they are less expensive than oils. He usually doesn't get the picture he wants though because the capability, the boundaraies, the limits the acrylics have do not match what he needs. So he adapts for the meantime, he tries to make a slightly different picture based on the capabilities of his medium say the same thing as his original vision. However he doesn't always succeed nor does he usually succeed totally. I suppose mine was the latter more than the former. I guess I didnt succeed totally, because not everyone saw what it was I really tried to say about myself. Now my limits are less. When the artist changes, upgrades to oils he is seemingly limitless and he moves back to his original visions and people often have become so acclimated to his curbed vision that they almost think hes an entirely different artist, but truth is hes just no longer trapped. No longer trapped by his limits. All I must do now is make sure my visions don't get so big as that I would feel forced to venture beyond the dangerous and force myself to become unbalanced. You know I am Libra...the scales of life are balanced by Libras! Sometimes one balance goes out and I have to move a lil extreme to make the scales balanced again. ...random thought.