In his eyes, I find forever (7/13)
Title: In his eyes, I find forever (7/13)
Pairing : Takaki Yuya/Yabu Kota
Warnings: A little too angsty at times?
Genre: Romance/Angst
Disclaimer: Yeah...well...I wish I owned them, but I don't.
Rating: PG.
Summary: The storyline starts from when the original Hey!Say!7 guest-starred on Shounen Club and moves on from there.
He wasn’t sure if he had ever been more freaked out in his life.
But then, Nishikido Ryo tends to do that to ANYONE.
“Ryo-chan, quit scaring them!” A rather familiar voice called out. “They’re not juniors anymore, you know. You can’t scare them as easily.”
“Yeah, I know, Keii,” Ryo replied, his ever present smirk firmly in place. “But it’s still fun.”
Takaki stared.
Nishikido Ryo AND Koyama Keiichiro. He thought. Wow.
“Ryo-chan!” Yabu said, his grin broadening. “Keii-chan! What are you guys doing here?”
He blinked. How on earth is Yabu so comfortable with…well…everybody?
“Never mind us, what are you two doing all alo-oww!”
“We went to see your performance today and to support Massu and Tegoshi.” Koyama replied, grinning cheerily despite the sight of Ryo doubled over in pain. Takaki stared. Apparently, you don’t mess with ‘Keii-chan’. Go figure.
“How did you feel about it anyway?” Ryo asked, pulling up two chairs for him and Koyama as Yabu grabbed another one for himself. “The performance, I mean.”
Yabu just laughed. “It went pretty well. Everyone was incredible."
“What about you guys?” Koyama asked gently. “How are you guys doing?”
Crap.
Takaki hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that topic yet, no matter how much Yabu seemed to want to face it head on. But like always, leave it to Koyama to kick up on the things no one else does.
He had to try and get away from that subject matter anyway. If not for himself, then for Yabu’s sake
“Things are okay, I gu-”
“How’d you do it?” Everyone’s heads simultaneously turned towards Yabu. He gave no response, only staring at Ryo and Koyama with that same blazing, yet slightly hopeless look that seemed to unravel everything Takaki knew to be true about the former juniors leader.
Koyama was the first to snap out of it. “Do what?”
“Go through with graduating from junior status.” Yabu replied, his voice getting softer by the moment. “Deal with the idea of getting forced to join a completely new group. Cope with…”
With leaving your old group behind.
“Oh, that.” Ryo sighed. “I always hoped none of you guys would ever have to find that out.”
Takaki frowned. He was starting to get an idea of what Yabu was doing by asking these questions. After all, who better to ask than the very people who only four years before had had to go through the same thing Hey!Say!JUMP was dealing with now? The people who went through even more hardship post debut, from one member simply pursuing another path to two other members getting involved in two of the biggest scandals Johnny’s had ever had to deal with?
Who better than the members of NEWS?
“It was…” Koyama laughed bitterly. “God, you always ask the hard questions, don’t you, Yabuchii?”
Yabu didn’t respond. Takaki didn’t think anyone figured he would anyway.
“We didn’t think it was going to be permanent. At least not at first,” Ryo started, his eyes slightly glazed over. “It was a volleyball single…just like yours. And everyone was mad… ‘cause we weren’t the popular ones. At least, most of us weren’t. And we were getting pulled out of our groups. No one was happy about that.”
“Pi used to hate NEWS, remember?” Koyama smiled almost fondly, looking back at Ryo. “Or at least, he hated how it began. We all did. We never dreamed it would be permanent.”
“…How did your former groups react?” Takaki asked softly. He couldn’t help it. The conversation was starting to hit on things he was scared of himself.
Ryo glanced back at Koyama meaningfully, reaching over and squeezing his hand gently. “Ne, Keii-chan, you might be better suited to answer that one…”
That’s right, Takaki thought. Ryo still has his junior group. He still has Kanjani8.
Koyama only has NEWS now.
Just like I’ll only have Hey!Say!JUMP soon.
Somehow, just seeing Koyama’s reaction to that thought made the dull pain in his chest start to get sharper.
“…I won’t lie. You guys don’t deserve that.” Koyama whispered, his hand tightening around Ryo’s. “It was horrible at first. I was facing leaving my closest friends for a group of people I barely knew…besides Shige and Kusano, obviously.”
“What’d your friends say when you debuted?”
“They hated me. They seriously hated me. They used to look at me in that way…you know? Like they didn’t…”
“Even know you at all?”
Koyama laughed weakly. “Yeah…I guess you guys know that feeling pretty well by now.”
He stole a look at Yabu. It was starting to come back again…that one thing that seemed to make everything he thought about Yabu false. He had to do something… stall for a second, start talking and not actually stop, maybe even ask Ryo and Koyama to leave. Anything to keep the hopelessness in Yabu’s eyes from completely taking over.
“Hasshi makes an excuse to leave the room every time I see him.” Takaki replied sullenly. “And Kamei looks like he’s going to punch me every time he sees me.”
I’m sorry, Takaki-kun. Koyama’s thoughts seemed to resonate in his eyes. No one should have to go through that.
Koyama’s eyes were so honest, so pure. Takaki couldn’t help but hate that trait a little bit.
It made him think too much of Yabu’s eyes.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Ryo glanced at Yabu sadly. “We heard things are pretty bad with Ya-ya-yah right now.”
He froze. He’d almost forgotten about Yabu’s side of it.
“Did you even realize that Taiyo’s quitting?”
“I’m sorry. Is that what you want me to say? Because, god, Shoon, I’m so sorry.”
“Why don’t you believe in what we have? Why don’t you believe in Ya-ya-yah?”
“Because it won’t bring Taiyo back.”
“Do you even care about Ya-ya-yah anymore? About Taiyo? About me?”
“I wish it could just be the four of us forever. But it won’t do any good just to wish.”
“But if you tried to change it, at least we’d know that you cared. […]You don’t even care that you’re leaving us.”
“Shoon, don’t do this.”
“And I bet you don’t even care that this friendship is ending.”
Takaki reached under the table and grabbed Yabu’s hand. He had to do something. He had to do anything, anything at all, just to keep Yabu here by his side and not…wherever his thoughts were leading him.
Yabu didn’t even acknowledge it. “Hikaru’s trying so very hard…but he’s hurting so badly. Shoon ended our friendship. And Taiyo…”
Taiyo’s leaving.
“We heard.” Koyama whispered. “Have you talked to him yet?”
“Nothing…” Yabu’s voice cracked. “No one’s seen him around recently. And he’s not taking anyone’s calls, not mine, not Hikaru’s, not even Shoon’s apparently. And I…”
Takaki cut in. Enough’s enough. “How’d you do it, Keii-chan?”
Koyama smiled softly. “It’s tough being the oldest two, huh?”
Yabu and Takaki looked at each other before nodding. Koyama laughed.
“It sucked at the beginning. You know me…I need to take care of people. And it’s hard to do that when your bandmates don’t want anything to do with you and your old ones hate you.”
Yabu sighed. Ryo scowled. “Stop that.”
“What?”
“Looking like Chinen if Ohno got married to Nino. Which is probably any day now. Ow!” Ryo scowled, rubbing his arm while glaring at Koyama. “Stop being so abusive.”
"Stop trying to get attention then." Koyama replied, laughing as Ryo scowled again. It wasn't long though before a small smile graced the Kansai man's lips once more
There was something about the way Ryo smiled at Koyama, Takaki decided. It wasn’t mocking or harsh. But it wasn’t sweet or sappy. It was just softness and warmth. Like he couldn’t ever be mad at Koyama, not really. Like no matter what, there would always be a place for Koyama in his everything. Like he didn’t mind that this would be the closest he’d get to Koyama in public, even if there was ever a chance that he’d want to get closer.
It’s just like the way Yabu looks at Shoon.
His heart fell just a little more.
“It gets better, Yabu.” Ryo whispered, his smile just a tad bit softer as he glanced back at Koyama fondly. “No lie.”
“But I-”
“Yabuchii.”
“I-
“Kota. It gets better.”
Believe him, Yabu, he wanted to beg. Please, please believe him.
“…I failed them, Ryo.” The words seemed to rush out of Yabu, desperate for an escape. “I was the juniors leader, Ya-ya-yah’s leader. And now the juniors are losing some of their best friends, several of them are now without a group, Hikaru’s depending on me for support I can’t seem to give him and Hey!Say!JUMP is looking to me as the oldest and I’m trying so hard but I can’t stop thinking about losing Shoon and failing Taiyo and-”
“Yabuchii.” Koyama whispered. “Shut up for a sec.”
Takaki squeezed Yabu’s hand under the table.
“One. The Juniors have always had to go through this whenever someone debuts. It’s the way this business works and they WILL adjust,” Koyama began. “Two. Hikaru will look out for himself. All you have to do is keep being his best friend and he’ll be fine.”
“Three, Hey!Say!JUMP will always need you.” Ryo cut him off, grinning cheekily at Koyama before getting serious all over again. “But that’s cause you’re the oldest. And you’re the one everyone can trust to keep on being the best leader you can be. And Shoon will grow up, that idiot.”
“Shoon’s not an i-”
“No, he’s not.” Koyama replied, glaring at Ryo. Takaki sighed. At least, the self-titled ‘Sexy Osaka Man’ had the decency to look a little guilty. “But he is scared. Look at it from his point of view. Taiyo’s leaving Johnny’s. You and Hikaru are debuting. More importantly, one of the most precious parts of his life is gone. Ya-ya-yah is gone. And he’s terrified.
‘But that’s not your fault, Kota.” Ryo said, staring at Yabu meaningfully. “Believe me, it’s not.”
“Shoon will come around eventually. As for Taiyo…” Koyama paused. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
“So there’s nothing I can do.”
“That’s not true.” Koyama shook his head. “You can do so much still. You need to do so much.”
Yabu laughed bitterly. “So we can’t escape this.”
“There’s nothing to escape.”
“Then we’re trapped!”
“No, you’re not.” Ryo whispered, walking around the table and pulling Yabu into his arms. “You’ll never be trapped, Kota, I promise.”
He had never been a big fan of Nishikido Ryo, Takaki mused, watching Ryo hug Yabu gently.
At least, not really. It might have been because of the stories people told. It might be because Jin was so comfortable with him and the rest of NEWS and Takaki could never see exactly why. It might even have been just his natural ease with Yabu.
But there was something about the way Ryo was. How he could be so cruel and yet so understanding. How he could tease Koyama mercilessly and still gaze at him with that never-ending amount of depth. How he could pay tribute to how it was before and still be so grateful for what he had now.
Takaki had never been more jealous of anyone in his life.
AN: This chapter was absolute hell. Not just because of what happened yesterday morning. But also because, holy crap, look at all that dialogue. WOWZ.
But looking back on it, it was totally worth it. This chapter might be tied with Chapter Four for being my best writing so far in this chap. I hope you guys like it!
It’s actually the longest one so far, running to three lines short of five pages long. But I couldn’t have done Keiichan and Ryo real justice without doing it that way. So *shrugs*
I also switched the way the bold and italics works. Italics is Takaki’s thoughts and, at least for this chapter, bold and italics together meant both flashbacks and Koyama’s thoughts according to Takaki. Just so everyone’s clear.
This ends the four chapter *arc* that started back in Chapter Four. I’d been wanting to bring in Ryo because I thought that if anyone could understand the position Hey!Say!JUMP was in, it’s the members of NEWS. Bringing in Keiichan was a semi-random move (brought about when discussing things with my dear musie muse, ssm_kiyumi, a few days back) that actually ends up playing into several underlying tones I’ve been developing with the story. A wink and a nod to anyone who can figure out what they are, ^_^.
I have an idea of where I want to go from here. It was hinted a tiny bit in this chapter but as far as I can see, I’m not sure anyone but ssm_kiyumi will be able to guess. And that’s just ‘cause I bounced the actual idea of her a couple days ago. So you better not tell anyone, Yu-chan, *GLARE!* xD, I love you!
I don’t really have too much to say. I just really am proud of how this chapter turned out because I worked my butt off on it.
Oh, and just a little bit of encouragement: try and see past what you believe you see. That might not make sense now. But try it out. You might see something you didn’t see before.
Thanks!