er - carter/megan - unsettled truths - rated PG
title: unsettled truths
fandom: ER
pairing: carter/megan (ofc)
letter: o for ordeal - table # 4, for a_to_z_prompts
summary: John consults with a therapist after returning to work from his attack from Paul Sobriki, and old wounds are opened again.
rating: PG.
word count: 1039
warnings/spoilers: none really ;)
a/n: Dr. Megan Riley is an original character of mine who I'm pairing with Carter for my fic's in this challenge. You'll get to know more about her as you read :) ER timeline wise for this one, season 6 around the time John is recovering from his injuries from being stabbed, but pre-Jayden's conception. Also, this chapter is inspired by one of my fave scenes of the movie Gia.
disclaimer: I do not own the characters of ER. This is purely written for entertainment only.
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Unsettled Truths
John fidgeted with his stethoscope as he waited for Dr. Carl Deraad to come into the office. He’d finally given in and was accepting some help. It had been three months since his attack from the schizophrenic patient Paul Sobriki. Three months since he’d felt that steel knife pierce through his spinal cord, making his knees buckle. Three months since he had almost lost his life. Paul had been mentally ill; but John had been so busy with other patients he hadn’t paid attention to Lucy’s diagnosis. He hadn’t read the signs. And as a result; Lucy had also been stabbed, but she had not survived her injuries. For this, John blamed himself. Lucy was his med-student. He should have known better.
“Hi, John,” Dr. Deraad announced as he came into his office bustling with some papers. “I’m glad you stopped by again.”
“Yeah, well,” Carter cleared his throat. “It’s helping, I guess.” Truth was he wasn’t sure it was helping, but the visits to the therapist kept Megan off his back for awhile.
“So how are you?” Dr. Deraad asked as he sat behind his desk, knowing John preferred the less formal approach when it came to his sessions. “How are the nightmares?”
“Less.” John nodded and tightened his hands together in a firm grasp. “I’m sleeping better.”
“And work?” The doctor made some notes on a notepad as he spoke.
“Good. Getting back to normal.”
“Everyone seems to be worried about you,” Dr. Deraad said. “Lotta love for you down in that ER.” He chuckled.
John forced a smile. “Yeah, I guess...”
“So...” Dr Deraad leant back in his chair and sucked on the end of his pen. “Tell me more about Dr. Riley.”
“Megan?” John crinkled his brow; pretending he hadn’t been expecting this question. “What about her?”
“Well, last time we spoke you mentioned you two were close.” Dr. Deraad reminded him. “She never left your bedside during your recovery...”
“Yeah...” John’s mind drifted back to that horrid day, three months before...
He saw Megan’s face hovering above him as he awoke for the first time in trauma room; her tearful voice promising him that he was going to be okay. Her face was the last thing he saw before he was put under anaesthetic and it had been the first thing he saw when he’d woken up from his surgery. Megan had fallen asleep slumped over his bed and was clutching his hand as she dozed. She’d sat with him for hours after he’d found out about Lucy, she’d helped him when he’d moved back in with his Grandmother to recuperate, she’d eased him back into work. She’d been perfect. And the whole scenario only cemented what he felt for her. “Yeah...she’s great.” He cleared his throat again.
“You two have been friends a long time?”
“Six years.” Carter answered, not believing it had been that long. “We met on our first day here.”
Deraad just scribbled mindlessly on a notepad on his desk, a therapist’s trick to make themselves seem less interested than they were. “It’s odd for a man and woman to be as close as the two of you and not have it develop into more...”
“People say that...but for us,” John frowned and shook his head. This was not the first time he’d had this conversation. “It’s not weird.”
“So what is it about her?” Dr. Deraad smiled. “ER’s full of great people. But I see her name on every one of your patient charts from after your attack, I see the way your face changes when you talk about her...” He leant back in his squeaky leather chair and chewed the tip of his pen. “Why pick her as a friend?”
John shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably and straightened in his chair. “She’s...she’s great.” He answered with an awkward laugh. “I mean, how do I answer that? She’s funny and sweet. And honest...” He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “What you see is what you get with her, y’know...” He laughed; thinking of Megan bounding up and down excitedly the way she did when she received good news. “She’s like a puppy saying love me! Love me! Love me...”
“And do you?” Dr Deraad asked; leaning his elbows against his desk. “Love her.”
John felt a familiar watering in his eyes, he chewed his lip to hold back the tears. “I did.” He tried to smile. “I did right away.”
Dr. Deraad hung his head. “You don’t anymore.”
John, too, lowered his head, hiding the tears that prickled in his eyes. “It’s complicated.”
“Does she know?”
“No, well...I’ve never told her.” He smiled bashfully.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to upset her.”
“She doesn’t feel the same way?”
“She’s seeing someone.” Malluci. John didn’t even want to say his name. Megan had hated Dave Malluci when he first breezed through the doors; they fought openly and constantly, and that had somehow developed into an explosive relationship. Never wanting to let Megan think he wasn’t still her friend, John would painfully listen to her as she bitched about Dave’s work ethic and skanky bars he dragged her to. All John wanted to do when she spoke like that was give her a hardy shake over her shoulders, snap her back into consciousness. Megan Riley hated guys like Dave; and now she was sleeping with one.
The sound of Deraad’s beeper wailing was a much needed reprieve for John, he mimed that he had received a similar page as the Doctor was already hitting numbers on the desk phone, speedily saying for John to come back again soon. Free at last, John took off, and not for an emergency, instead for a dimly lit hall of this wing. It was early morning, so the lights were off whilst the patients slept. John sank into one of the hard, plastic chairs lining the walls and exhaled deeply. If he’d told anyone else what he’d just told Deraad, Megan would know in a minute. As it was, she would never know. He’d never tell her, he couldn’t. If she knew; they’d lose everything that made them who they were. John and Megan; best friends forever. Cheesy, over-the-top, and loving every second of it...
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fandom: ER
pairing: carter/megan (ofc)
letter: o for ordeal - table # 4, for a_to_z_prompts
summary: John consults with a therapist after returning to work from his attack from Paul Sobriki, and old wounds are opened again.
rating: PG.
word count: 1039
warnings/spoilers: none really ;)
a/n: Dr. Megan Riley is an original character of mine who I'm pairing with Carter for my fic's in this challenge. You'll get to know more about her as you read :) ER timeline wise for this one, season 6 around the time John is recovering from his injuries from being stabbed, but pre-Jayden's conception. Also, this chapter is inspired by one of my fave scenes of the movie Gia.
disclaimer: I do not own the characters of ER. This is purely written for entertainment only.
---
Unsettled Truths
John fidgeted with his stethoscope as he waited for Dr. Carl Deraad to come into the office. He’d finally given in and was accepting some help. It had been three months since his attack from the schizophrenic patient Paul Sobriki. Three months since he’d felt that steel knife pierce through his spinal cord, making his knees buckle. Three months since he had almost lost his life. Paul had been mentally ill; but John had been so busy with other patients he hadn’t paid attention to Lucy’s diagnosis. He hadn’t read the signs. And as a result; Lucy had also been stabbed, but she had not survived her injuries. For this, John blamed himself. Lucy was his med-student. He should have known better.
“Hi, John,” Dr. Deraad announced as he came into his office bustling with some papers. “I’m glad you stopped by again.”
“Yeah, well,” Carter cleared his throat. “It’s helping, I guess.” Truth was he wasn’t sure it was helping, but the visits to the therapist kept Megan off his back for awhile.
“So how are you?” Dr. Deraad asked as he sat behind his desk, knowing John preferred the less formal approach when it came to his sessions. “How are the nightmares?”
“Less.” John nodded and tightened his hands together in a firm grasp. “I’m sleeping better.”
“And work?” The doctor made some notes on a notepad as he spoke.
“Good. Getting back to normal.”
“Everyone seems to be worried about you,” Dr. Deraad said. “Lotta love for you down in that ER.” He chuckled.
John forced a smile. “Yeah, I guess...”
“So...” Dr Deraad leant back in his chair and sucked on the end of his pen. “Tell me more about Dr. Riley.”
“Megan?” John crinkled his brow; pretending he hadn’t been expecting this question. “What about her?”
“Well, last time we spoke you mentioned you two were close.” Dr. Deraad reminded him. “She never left your bedside during your recovery...”
“Yeah...” John’s mind drifted back to that horrid day, three months before...
He saw Megan’s face hovering above him as he awoke for the first time in trauma room; her tearful voice promising him that he was going to be okay. Her face was the last thing he saw before he was put under anaesthetic and it had been the first thing he saw when he’d woken up from his surgery. Megan had fallen asleep slumped over his bed and was clutching his hand as she dozed. She’d sat with him for hours after he’d found out about Lucy, she’d helped him when he’d moved back in with his Grandmother to recuperate, she’d eased him back into work. She’d been perfect. And the whole scenario only cemented what he felt for her. “Yeah...she’s great.” He cleared his throat again.
“You two have been friends a long time?”
“Six years.” Carter answered, not believing it had been that long. “We met on our first day here.”
Deraad just scribbled mindlessly on a notepad on his desk, a therapist’s trick to make themselves seem less interested than they were. “It’s odd for a man and woman to be as close as the two of you and not have it develop into more...”
“People say that...but for us,” John frowned and shook his head. This was not the first time he’d had this conversation. “It’s not weird.”
“So what is it about her?” Dr. Deraad smiled. “ER’s full of great people. But I see her name on every one of your patient charts from after your attack, I see the way your face changes when you talk about her...” He leant back in his squeaky leather chair and chewed the tip of his pen. “Why pick her as a friend?”
John shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably and straightened in his chair. “She’s...she’s great.” He answered with an awkward laugh. “I mean, how do I answer that? She’s funny and sweet. And honest...” He ran his tongue over his bottom lip. “What you see is what you get with her, y’know...” He laughed; thinking of Megan bounding up and down excitedly the way she did when she received good news. “She’s like a puppy saying love me! Love me! Love me...”
“And do you?” Dr Deraad asked; leaning his elbows against his desk. “Love her.”
John felt a familiar watering in his eyes, he chewed his lip to hold back the tears. “I did.” He tried to smile. “I did right away.”
Dr. Deraad hung his head. “You don’t anymore.”
John, too, lowered his head, hiding the tears that prickled in his eyes. “It’s complicated.”
“Does she know?”
“No, well...I’ve never told her.” He smiled bashfully.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to upset her.”
“She doesn’t feel the same way?”
“She’s seeing someone.” Malluci. John didn’t even want to say his name. Megan had hated Dave Malluci when he first breezed through the doors; they fought openly and constantly, and that had somehow developed into an explosive relationship. Never wanting to let Megan think he wasn’t still her friend, John would painfully listen to her as she bitched about Dave’s work ethic and skanky bars he dragged her to. All John wanted to do when she spoke like that was give her a hardy shake over her shoulders, snap her back into consciousness. Megan Riley hated guys like Dave; and now she was sleeping with one.
The sound of Deraad’s beeper wailing was a much needed reprieve for John, he mimed that he had received a similar page as the Doctor was already hitting numbers on the desk phone, speedily saying for John to come back again soon. Free at last, John took off, and not for an emergency, instead for a dimly lit hall of this wing. It was early morning, so the lights were off whilst the patients slept. John sank into one of the hard, plastic chairs lining the walls and exhaled deeply. If he’d told anyone else what he’d just told Deraad, Megan would know in a minute. As it was, she would never know. He’d never tell her, he couldn’t. If she knew; they’d lose everything that made them who they were. John and Megan; best friends forever. Cheesy, over-the-top, and loving every second of it...
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