Let's just set her up and knock her down
My roommate is up at her fiancee's cleaning his bathroom and making dinner. That's all I really want. Well maybe not the bathroom part, but the dinner. I just want someone to come home to me and we can eat, have some wine, watch a movie or play some video games, maybe see a play (not all on the same night), and then make lots of sweet love. Not to repeat myself, but that's all I really want. Everyone thinks I'm this nutso actor sex queen, but I'm really a simple kind of gal.
I've got two tickets to "Bette & Boo" on Monday night, and no one to go with.
Craptastic day. People at work found out James and I went out...really, I had to bring it up to defend him, those judgemental girls bringing him down, saying some really nasty things. Of course, that didn't stop them from making fun of me. I was able to spin it, of course, "Yeah, well he never called me back and dropped me like yesterday's garbage." Which is pretty much just as humiliating. Spent the rest of the day avoiding questions and snickers. So I like artists and musicians with long hair and geektastic obsessions, much like myself. People have been making fun of the people I've dated since I was 15. I never try to live in conventions, nor do I avoid them. I just like who I like. And people seem to always have a problem with that. They did with Yasha, Nick, Frankie, even JM, and now this. Am I the only one who deals with this?
Bringing it all up again put me in a passionate fury (Dr. G said I will just have to deal with my passion, and that the highs will be high and the lows will be low. Some advice.)...I guess it's good I'm quitting. For now.
All the ones I fall for just bring me down.
And the one who fell for me, I made us crash and burn.
I am gorgeous.
I am funny.
I am a pretty decent cook.
I am a catch.
I am also intense, strong-willed and blunt.
What was it my father said..."Focus on the work, the people will come."
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Last night we had game night with the PTPs. I love hanging out at Jessi and Monica's. I still freak out at poker, and everyone (i.e. Frankie) pegged me during "Things...in a box". Bang! was fun too. I sat and watched a lot and kept drinking...JM took care of me and let me crash. I need to take care of myself.
***
Anyways, here's my GOOD news. I heard from SETC! I was an alternate, but they emailed me on Wednesday, and now I have a number and get to go! So I'm going to NETC and SETC. I get to perform and audition for the all these professional companies. And I'm better now, more poised, better tone. Plus there's that little evil voice inside me that says "all these better people than me didn't get passed on. And I did." Why me? or, HOORAY me!
Time to start practicing again.