an unexpected comment
Is like the vast and unrelenting night and the shadow of perfume hung quietly on the breeze. I’m really at a it of a loss with myself. I feel I’ve come to an end, within a dark forest as it were, for the straightforward pathway has been lost. I’m expending too much energy, pouring too much out in all directions but producing no effect, as like a great
hurricane that fails to lift a single leaf. Or the wolf at the cottage of stone and mortar.
Well gentlemen let’s take this one piece at a time. I believe we shall begin, as we always should, from the heart, with matters d’amour. I feel I should attempt to explain here how I feel about these things. I feel that one is in the best position when one does not have to rely on another person. Self sufficiency is a worth goal, one we should all aspire to. Saying this I feel regretfully the case that I am not presently, nor do I recall being so since my life was introduced to the alternative, in a state of mind which I could describe as content within myself and with being single. Hardly a model of self-sufficiency. Now it is not that I feel I need these people for any particular purpose, to support me in any endeavors, I am at least capable of doing these things on my own.
I do however feel the need to be reassured that they are there. Rather like a self noted tendency of my hunting habits. Often I have little or no interest in taking the boy home, or for that matter letting him so much as touch me. It is still satisfying to know that I could. Any of us familiar with any good hunt will know that from the moment they smile they are, frankly, yours. Barring of course the unpredictable, but these are not to be taken as a failure of your doing and so not pertinent.
Frankly at this point I’m not certain what all that was meant to achieve but it’s there now. Hopefully it helps explain why I’m annoyed to be single, my unwillingness to settle into being so, and my frustration that I can’t just be happy by myself. Which means that, funnily enough, I am not happy that I’m single and that I feel lonely. And for fucks sake as I write that that bloody song comes into my head.
It’s hard to put any more into words. As I said, expending lots of energy but getting little result. I suppose this is, to be honest, a reiteration of persistent problems. Thing’s that bother me again and again and I have yet to be able to fix. On that note I believe I shall leave this one. Perhaps to continue later.
hurricane that fails to lift a single leaf. Or the wolf at the cottage of stone and mortar.
Well gentlemen let’s take this one piece at a time. I believe we shall begin, as we always should, from the heart, with matters d’amour. I feel I should attempt to explain here how I feel about these things. I feel that one is in the best position when one does not have to rely on another person. Self sufficiency is a worth goal, one we should all aspire to. Saying this I feel regretfully the case that I am not presently, nor do I recall being so since my life was introduced to the alternative, in a state of mind which I could describe as content within myself and with being single. Hardly a model of self-sufficiency. Now it is not that I feel I need these people for any particular purpose, to support me in any endeavors, I am at least capable of doing these things on my own.
I do however feel the need to be reassured that they are there. Rather like a self noted tendency of my hunting habits. Often I have little or no interest in taking the boy home, or for that matter letting him so much as touch me. It is still satisfying to know that I could. Any of us familiar with any good hunt will know that from the moment they smile they are, frankly, yours. Barring of course the unpredictable, but these are not to be taken as a failure of your doing and so not pertinent.
Frankly at this point I’m not certain what all that was meant to achieve but it’s there now. Hopefully it helps explain why I’m annoyed to be single, my unwillingness to settle into being so, and my frustration that I can’t just be happy by myself. Which means that, funnily enough, I am not happy that I’m single and that I feel lonely. And for fucks sake as I write that that bloody song comes into my head.
It’s hard to put any more into words. As I said, expending lots of energy but getting little result. I suppose this is, to be honest, a reiteration of persistent problems. Thing’s that bother me again and again and I have yet to be able to fix. On that note I believe I shall leave this one. Perhaps to continue later.