Life and Death 101
My best buddy's (Emma's godma's) grandpa passed away on Saturday evening. Ah Kong was ninety-five and a half years old and when he finally closed his eyes for the final time, he was surrounded by friends and family who were singing hymns and praying over him. I guess there's no better way to go than to die this peacefully.
I tried to explain to Emma that Ah Kong had passed on. Besides her pet fish from the fish farm and plant dying, I've never really spoken to her about life and death in so much detail before. There were a zillion questions which followed, like why Ah Kong was old, who can die, when we 'can' die, where heaven is, if Ah Kong will break (I don't know where she got the idea that when something breaks it dies, or perhaps vice versa), and the list goes on. I tried to answer to the best of my ability, trying to be factually accurate yet trying to simplify the facts so as to help her understand at the same time.
The comments she made really tickled me.
Me: I'm going to Ah Kong's wake tonight.
Em: Wake? Ah Kong's awake already?
Me: No, darling. I'm going to visit Godma June's family and say goodbye to Ah Kong.
Em: You're going to see Ah Kong?
Me: Yes.
Em: You're going to see Jesus?
Me: No???
Em: Yes! You're going to see Jesus! Because Ah Kong is now with Jesus!
After explaining about Heaven, Emma decided she wanted to pay heaven a visit.
Em: I want to go to heaven.
Me: One day you will, but not now.
Em: But I want to go now.
Me: Not now, darling.
Em: But I want NOW!
Me: You have to wait for your turn. When it's time, you ---
Em: NOW! I WANT TO GO NOW!!
Me: Emma, if you go now, you can't come back here anymore.
Em: But I need to come back! My pillow is at home!
I can't quite remember when I fully understood the concept of death, but I remember when my grandpa passed away when I was in primary school, some well-meaning relative told me he was sleeping. I knew he wasn't - who was she trying to kid? I believe the best way to approach such issues would be to tell it as it is, but it's really not as easy as it sounds, especially if you have a kid who has a million questions in store for you!
May Ah Kong rest in peace.
I tried to explain to Emma that Ah Kong had passed on. Besides her pet fish from the fish farm and plant dying, I've never really spoken to her about life and death in so much detail before. There were a zillion questions which followed, like why Ah Kong was old, who can die, when we 'can' die, where heaven is, if Ah Kong will break (I don't know where she got the idea that when something breaks it dies, or perhaps vice versa), and the list goes on. I tried to answer to the best of my ability, trying to be factually accurate yet trying to simplify the facts so as to help her understand at the same time.
The comments she made really tickled me.
Me: I'm going to Ah Kong's wake tonight.
Em: Wake? Ah Kong's awake already?
Me: No, darling. I'm going to visit Godma June's family and say goodbye to Ah Kong.
Em: You're going to see Ah Kong?
Me: Yes.
Em: You're going to see Jesus?
Me: No???
Em: Yes! You're going to see Jesus! Because Ah Kong is now with Jesus!
After explaining about Heaven, Emma decided she wanted to pay heaven a visit.
Em: I want to go to heaven.
Me: One day you will, but not now.
Em: But I want to go now.
Me: Not now, darling.
Em: But I want NOW!
Me: You have to wait for your turn. When it's time, you ---
Em: NOW! I WANT TO GO NOW!!
Me: Emma, if you go now, you can't come back here anymore.
Em: But I need to come back! My pillow is at home!
I can't quite remember when I fully understood the concept of death, but I remember when my grandpa passed away when I was in primary school, some well-meaning relative told me he was sleeping. I knew he wasn't - who was she trying to kid? I believe the best way to approach such issues would be to tell it as it is, but it's really not as easy as it sounds, especially if you have a kid who has a million questions in store for you!
May Ah Kong rest in peace.