(no subject)
this is part of a post of mine from exactly 4 years ago. funny how some things never change?
"I just don't even know, I could go on and on. I'm just not happy about this situation at all. And because of this, and this only, I'm glad to be getting completely away from here for two months. I'm taking a break from pretending to care.
On the other hand, I'm really going to miss three people that are here for me every day. I can't wait for New York! This is IT!! My dream come true. I'll be THERE, living there, SHOPPING there, eating there, sleeping and waking up there, for two months! It's still not real yet. I hope I have all my answers and everything straightened out by the time I get back home. I hope it determines what I want for after graduation. I want my mind to be made up, and I want everything to be crystal clear. I know it's not that easy, but I just hope. I also wish I could pack my people up in a suitcase and bring them with me. I know that's going to be the hardest part."
needless to say, all of my questions were not answered within those two months. and I'd have no idea then that in 3 years they still wouldn't be. I'm learning this year to appreciate everything I've gone through and every decision I've made and to use it as a tool on my toolbelt for life. everything I've done on my journey contributes to who I am, and I know it will build to make this great, successful, healthy girl very soon. it's all a cycle and a process, and I'm learning to appreciate every part, even the worst ones.
"I just don't even know, I could go on and on. I'm just not happy about this situation at all. And because of this, and this only, I'm glad to be getting completely away from here for two months. I'm taking a break from pretending to care.
On the other hand, I'm really going to miss three people that are here for me every day. I can't wait for New York! This is IT!! My dream come true. I'll be THERE, living there, SHOPPING there, eating there, sleeping and waking up there, for two months! It's still not real yet. I hope I have all my answers and everything straightened out by the time I get back home. I hope it determines what I want for after graduation. I want my mind to be made up, and I want everything to be crystal clear. I know it's not that easy, but I just hope. I also wish I could pack my people up in a suitcase and bring them with me. I know that's going to be the hardest part."
needless to say, all of my questions were not answered within those two months. and I'd have no idea then that in 3 years they still wouldn't be. I'm learning this year to appreciate everything I've gone through and every decision I've made and to use it as a tool on my toolbelt for life. everything I've done on my journey contributes to who I am, and I know it will build to make this great, successful, healthy girl very soon. it's all a cycle and a process, and I'm learning to appreciate every part, even the worst ones.