Talking To Vic About Being Autistic
So Vic's teachers at his after school plan want to talk to the kids there about how Vic is different thinking that it might help to explain so that they can engage the ones who have compassion to help out and not push his boundaries too far.
We've been meaning to have a chat with Vic about what autism is and what it means to be autistic, but we were waiting until we thought he was old enough to understand it. However, for his teachers to talk to his group, we really felt we should talk to /him/ first so that kids don't start asking him questions that he has no idea about.
I've been feeling a lot of trepidation about this and today an opportunity presented itself to have a quiet conversation with him without his brother around, so I seized the day.
It went something like this, while walking over to CVS and back and then sitting at the kitchen table:
Me: "Vic? Did D. (his mental health specialist at his school) or your teacher ever talk to you about autism before?"
Vic: "What? What's austism?"
Me: "Autism. Has anyone talked to you about that word before?"
Vic: "No! What is it?"
Me: "Well, you know how sometimes when we're going across the parking lot like this and you can smell the cars and that bothers you?"
Vic: "Yeah, gosh, it's so /stinky/." Wrinkling nose and making a face.
Me: "Right. Well for a lot of people, did you know, they wouldn't even notice that smell? Most people probably wouldn't."
Vic: "Oh! Yeah. Right I have a /really/ strong nose."
Me: "Yeah, you do! And you know what else? Do you remember how when you were little sometimes loud sounds would bother you? Or other kinds of sounds even?"
Vic: "I still don't like loud sounds."
Me: "Yeah, but when you were a baby you didn't even like it when I sang to you."
Vic: "Oh yeaaaah. It hurted my ears."
Me: "Yeah. And you'd put your hand on my mouth to make me be quiet."
Vic: "Because it was bothering me."
Me: "That's right. And sometimes if we turned the lights on and off, that bothered your eyes."
Vic: "Yeah! Sometimes if you look up at the sky and the sun is there it hurts your eyes!"
Me: "Yep. And don't forget - don't look right at the sun or you could /really/ hurt your eyes."
Vic: "Yeah, that's right."
Me: "Well, all those things and how sometimes your clothes itch you even if they're soft, all of that is because your brain works a little bit differently from most people. It's also why sometimes you have a hard time with your feelings and going into 'beast mode' (this is what he calls it when he has a meltdown - his choice of words)."
Vic: "Oh? My brain is different?"
Me: "Yeah. And the name we have for your brain being different like that is 'autism'."
Vic: "Oh. Autism. And that's why my brain is so good and I smell so good (he meant 'well')." Pause. "How do you write that?"
So I wrote it on this little dry erase board he got at school today for getting enough 'Outstanding' points and he looked at it for a bit and we sounded it out.
Me: "So autism just means your brain works a bit differently from everyone else's. But you're not sick and there's nothing wrong with you. It's just something different."
Vic: "Okay! Can I have my ice cream now?"
I'm still laughing.
Either it didn't really sink in, or he really is just that blase about it.
He's just one funny little kid and I love him to bits.
We've been meaning to have a chat with Vic about what autism is and what it means to be autistic, but we were waiting until we thought he was old enough to understand it. However, for his teachers to talk to his group, we really felt we should talk to /him/ first so that kids don't start asking him questions that he has no idea about.
I've been feeling a lot of trepidation about this and today an opportunity presented itself to have a quiet conversation with him without his brother around, so I seized the day.
It went something like this, while walking over to CVS and back and then sitting at the kitchen table:
Me: "Vic? Did D. (his mental health specialist at his school) or your teacher ever talk to you about autism before?"
Vic: "What? What's austism?"
Me: "Autism. Has anyone talked to you about that word before?"
Vic: "No! What is it?"
Me: "Well, you know how sometimes when we're going across the parking lot like this and you can smell the cars and that bothers you?"
Vic: "Yeah, gosh, it's so /stinky/." Wrinkling nose and making a face.
Me: "Right. Well for a lot of people, did you know, they wouldn't even notice that smell? Most people probably wouldn't."
Vic: "Oh! Yeah. Right I have a /really/ strong nose."
Me: "Yeah, you do! And you know what else? Do you remember how when you were little sometimes loud sounds would bother you? Or other kinds of sounds even?"
Vic: "I still don't like loud sounds."
Me: "Yeah, but when you were a baby you didn't even like it when I sang to you."
Vic: "Oh yeaaaah. It hurted my ears."
Me: "Yeah. And you'd put your hand on my mouth to make me be quiet."
Vic: "Because it was bothering me."
Me: "That's right. And sometimes if we turned the lights on and off, that bothered your eyes."
Vic: "Yeah! Sometimes if you look up at the sky and the sun is there it hurts your eyes!"
Me: "Yep. And don't forget - don't look right at the sun or you could /really/ hurt your eyes."
Vic: "Yeah, that's right."
Me: "Well, all those things and how sometimes your clothes itch you even if they're soft, all of that is because your brain works a little bit differently from most people. It's also why sometimes you have a hard time with your feelings and going into 'beast mode' (this is what he calls it when he has a meltdown - his choice of words)."
Vic: "Oh? My brain is different?"
Me: "Yeah. And the name we have for your brain being different like that is 'autism'."
Vic: "Oh. Autism. And that's why my brain is so good and I smell so good (he meant 'well')." Pause. "How do you write that?"
So I wrote it on this little dry erase board he got at school today for getting enough 'Outstanding' points and he looked at it for a bit and we sounded it out.
Me: "So autism just means your brain works a bit differently from everyone else's. But you're not sick and there's nothing wrong with you. It's just something different."
Vic: "Okay! Can I have my ice cream now?"
I'm still laughing.
Either it didn't really sink in, or he really is just that blase about it.
He's just one funny little kid and I love him to bits.