High Notes
It's frustrating, not being able to hit the high notes anymore.
What used to be effortless and simple isn't and in some ways it feels like a part of my identity, or at least who I was in my younger days is gone. Granted, this is only the second practice since I started singing in the choir again and there's a good chance that with hard work and constant practice some of those notes might come back. I still feel a vague sense of loss and embarrassment, because I used to be the one who could be counted on to 'get' the parts fast, to sing them right and help to hold down the fort in my vocal section. Now I'm the one struggling to stay on target and get it right and it feels a little odd. I keep reminding myself: "Patience, it'll come back. It's okay to be rusty."
I started singing seriously when I was twelve, first in the school choir and church junior choir and then in various musicals throughout junior high and high school. I learned a lot about vocal production from the choirmaster at church, the same choirmaster who still leads the choir now. In college I also sang in the choirs, the Alpha and Omega choir is for first years and sophomores and up sing in the Smith College choir. I learned a lot more about vocal production from both of the choral directors for those choirs, but wasn't ever good enough to make the Chamber Singers and I never took vocal lessons in order to make the leap to solo parts as I got older.
After I graduated from college, other than the odd stint singing with the choir or going to Christmas Eve services with my parents, I basically stopped singing except to sing along with the radio, to entertain myself or to sing to my kids. Then we realized that Victor didn't tolerate singing well and other than singing to myself on walks home from work, I pretty much stopped altogether.
It feels good to be getting back to it overall and I know this awkward stage where I'm finding my voice again and re-learning how to read music will pass. So will the little sadness about those lost high notes that may or may not return.
What used to be effortless and simple isn't and in some ways it feels like a part of my identity, or at least who I was in my younger days is gone. Granted, this is only the second practice since I started singing in the choir again and there's a good chance that with hard work and constant practice some of those notes might come back. I still feel a vague sense of loss and embarrassment, because I used to be the one who could be counted on to 'get' the parts fast, to sing them right and help to hold down the fort in my vocal section. Now I'm the one struggling to stay on target and get it right and it feels a little odd. I keep reminding myself: "Patience, it'll come back. It's okay to be rusty."
I started singing seriously when I was twelve, first in the school choir and church junior choir and then in various musicals throughout junior high and high school. I learned a lot about vocal production from the choirmaster at church, the same choirmaster who still leads the choir now. In college I also sang in the choirs, the Alpha and Omega choir is for first years and sophomores and up sing in the Smith College choir. I learned a lot more about vocal production from both of the choral directors for those choirs, but wasn't ever good enough to make the Chamber Singers and I never took vocal lessons in order to make the leap to solo parts as I got older.
After I graduated from college, other than the odd stint singing with the choir or going to Christmas Eve services with my parents, I basically stopped singing except to sing along with the radio, to entertain myself or to sing to my kids. Then we realized that Victor didn't tolerate singing well and other than singing to myself on walks home from work, I pretty much stopped altogether.
It feels good to be getting back to it overall and I know this awkward stage where I'm finding my voice again and re-learning how to read music will pass. So will the little sadness about those lost high notes that may or may not return.