You Are Not So Smart
J and I are one of the few active users of Google Buzz that I know, mainly because shared article from our RSS reader gets shared to a larger group. Over the past few months, he'd shared a couple of really good articles, and it took a minute, but I finally realized they were all from the same blog, "You Are Not So Smart". Needless to say, I also subscribed to the RSS and continue to enjoy their articles immensely.
Recently, they had a post on what they called the "Backfire Effect" which theorizes that you almost certainly cannot change a persons strongly held belief. What should be evident from the studies on the backfire effect is you can never win an argument online. When you start to pull out facts and figures, hyperlinks and quotes, you are actually making the opponent feel as though they are even more sure of their position than before you started the debate. As they match your fervor, the same thing happens in your skull. The backfire effect pushes both of you deeper into your original beliefs.
Seeing as how I've watched J get pretty worked up over Internet debates in online forums (and have done so myself on occasion as well) this concept was pretty interesting. I think I'm more willing to give up on an argument than J, mainly because I can only sustain my "I give a shit about being right" drive for so long, and I would rather cut off all communication rather than keep up a prolonged unwinnable argument. It seems counter intuitive to being a librarian, but at some point, I just don't care that you're wrong. Science has shown that survival of the fittest (which for humans I take to also mean better able to read the writing on the wall smart) wins at the end of the day. So you keep on keeping on in your belief that Obama isn't eligible to be President by birth, if that's the tier you're focusing on, you're probably missing other opportunities to better attack his stance as President.
Going back through the archives, I ran across an article on Learned Helplessness, which, while brief, I thought made some good points. Every day - your job, the government, your addiction, your depression, your money - you feel like you can’t control the forces affecting your fate. So, you stage microrevolts. You customize your ringtone, you paint your room, you collect stamps. You choose.
Choices, even small ones, can hold back the crushing weight of helplessness, but you can’t stop there. You must fight back your behavior and learn to fail with pride. Failing often is the only way to ever get the things you want out of life. Besides death, your destiny is not inescapable.
I feel like I see this in too many people I know from close friends to our current house guest, and it makes me sad. Sometimes, I think that essentially being an only child managed to give me an edge. That isn't to say I'm never depressed, or scared, but being alone from such a young age helped me to be self reliant a lot sooner than most of my peers. Helplessness isn't something I'm familiar with, even at my lowest point, because I've always had a survive or die mentality. Not to imply that I was left to fend for myself at too early an age, or that there were no caring adults, that was far from the case. I was however raised in the "I Know I Can" mentality.
Even after almost seven years with J, he reminds me on a weekly, if not daily basis that we're partners and I'm not alone anymore which is nice, but old habits die hard, and I still know that I am the master of my fate. Helpless is not an option.
Recently, they had a post on what they called the "Backfire Effect" which theorizes that you almost certainly cannot change a persons strongly held belief. What should be evident from the studies on the backfire effect is you can never win an argument online. When you start to pull out facts and figures, hyperlinks and quotes, you are actually making the opponent feel as though they are even more sure of their position than before you started the debate. As they match your fervor, the same thing happens in your skull. The backfire effect pushes both of you deeper into your original beliefs.
Seeing as how I've watched J get pretty worked up over Internet debates in online forums (and have done so myself on occasion as well) this concept was pretty interesting. I think I'm more willing to give up on an argument than J, mainly because I can only sustain my "I give a shit about being right" drive for so long, and I would rather cut off all communication rather than keep up a prolonged unwinnable argument. It seems counter intuitive to being a librarian, but at some point, I just don't care that you're wrong. Science has shown that survival of the fittest (which for humans I take to also mean better able to read the writing on the wall smart) wins at the end of the day. So you keep on keeping on in your belief that Obama isn't eligible to be President by birth, if that's the tier you're focusing on, you're probably missing other opportunities to better attack his stance as President.
Going back through the archives, I ran across an article on Learned Helplessness, which, while brief, I thought made some good points. Every day - your job, the government, your addiction, your depression, your money - you feel like you can’t control the forces affecting your fate. So, you stage microrevolts. You customize your ringtone, you paint your room, you collect stamps. You choose.
Choices, even small ones, can hold back the crushing weight of helplessness, but you can’t stop there. You must fight back your behavior and learn to fail with pride. Failing often is the only way to ever get the things you want out of life. Besides death, your destiny is not inescapable.
I feel like I see this in too many people I know from close friends to our current house guest, and it makes me sad. Sometimes, I think that essentially being an only child managed to give me an edge. That isn't to say I'm never depressed, or scared, but being alone from such a young age helped me to be self reliant a lot sooner than most of my peers. Helplessness isn't something I'm familiar with, even at my lowest point, because I've always had a survive or die mentality. Not to imply that I was left to fend for myself at too early an age, or that there were no caring adults, that was far from the case. I was however raised in the "I Know I Can" mentality.
Click to viewEven after almost seven years with J, he reminds me on a weekly, if not daily basis that we're partners and I'm not alone anymore which is nice, but old habits die hard, and I still know that I am the master of my fate. Helpless is not an option.