Stand Alone: First Comes...
Title: First Comes
Pairing: Kon/Kory
Wordcount:~ 1600
Prompt: From the IJ Prompt list for No True Pairing
Summary: Conner Kent and Koriand'r's shotgun wedding doesn't go according to plan.
A/N: I do not like this fic. If you do, please tell me and so I know it wasn't a complete waste of time. *glares at it*
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Kon knew Ma and Pa wouldn't take the news 'I knocked up Kory' lightly. Really, he totally expected the nice American Midwest freak out of the traditional variety. Kon was prepared to sit through the 'She's a good girl' lectures and 'It's only right' before awkwardly asking Kory to please, please tell them why that was a bad idea. He hadn't expected Koriand'r to think the whole 'Shotgun Wedding' idea was the best idea ever. Well, that wasn't exactly what she said, but he was too busy freaking the fuck out to remember because, holy shit! His Not-Girlfriend wanted to get married.
For the baby.
He was grateful she hadn't hunted his ass down when he flew off in the middle of the conversation. It was a total douche thing to do, but at the time, he was debating on whether or not that mattered to him, because marriage and babies and this shit didn't happen to genetically engineered lab rats in the movies!
Kon spent the next month and a half pointedly avoiding any mentions of 'Kory', 'Pregnant', and 'You're a total shit.' It wasn't like she needed him. She was cracking head and taking names long before he figured out Tab A in Slot B. Kory was poster girl for aggressive feminism at it's best, she could fucking take care of herself.
For the record, Bart Allen was the best friend a guy could ever ask for. When Kon was hiding away, Bart offered up his sofa and didn't tell him he was being shallow and petty or point out he was a hero and should god damned act like it.(He already knew that, Tim. Thanks for stating the obvious.) No, he was open, judgment free, and sly like a fox. Somehow, in the six weeks Kon lived with him, Bart developed a sudden and undeniable love for the most heart wrenching tales of single motherhood ever made for the big screen. Since Bart only had one TV and it was right in front of the sofa Kon slept on, that meant Kon got to suffer through them.
Every. Damn. Night.
Watching Natalie Portman give birth in Wal-Mart was the last straw. He couldn't be her dead beat country singing baby daddy and still call himself a man.
Kory was, as expected, doing just fine without him and she didn't even punch him for leaving. Dick Grayson did, but that was more funny than anything else. It wasn't often Bats forgot someone's face could snap titanium.
There was something about pregnant women that made everyone in a room stand up and play protector. He used to think it was the pathetic eight months waddle that made everyone help out of guilt, but, at four months, Kory was barely showing and Kon couldn't leave her alone anymore. One time, she even shot him in the head to get some peace. Ow, for the record. A great big blinding green world of ow.
But the baby wasn't the worst part. Actually, once Kon got over his ego, he totally dug picking out pint sized shoes and wondering if he should buy a pink teddy bear or hedge his bets and grab a gender neutral green? Kory wasn't clingy, but they spent a lot of time curled up on the sofa listening to the baby's heartbeat and waiting for the first soft kicks. It was perfect, except for the wedding.
The Big Fucking White Taffeta Nightmare from Hell.
Somewhere along the line, probably about the time she decided marriage wasn't totally insane, Kory decided to go traditional. Like, big white gown, something borrowed, something blue, read by a preacher, officiated in a church, bridesmaids, flower girls, rings, roses, tux, place settings, speeches, and a fucking ice sculpture. It looked like mutated triple headed swan.. Kon blamed Ma Kent. Why? Because when Martha Kent believed in something, she made sure everyone else did, too. Kon was a stupid man and actually asked her who'd be footing the bill once.
Ma showed him a very large bill signed off on by Lex Luthor.
Kon didn't know how and he didn't know why, but he was grateful Ma loved him because if she didn't, no one would ever find the body.
He had words with Kory about letting an evil mastermind fund their wedding, but she shut him up with a very nice thank you card stapled to a Justice League restraining order and mentioned the first time she saw Mercy within 500 feet of her baby, she'd blow up Luthor's pent house. Kory was gonna be the best mom ever.
But, back to the part where they let Lex Luthor pay for everything. Cause, really, even with the fore-planned explosions, it was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea, she knew it was a bad idea, but it was a big wedding and it was expensive, which didn't excuse the oversight that they let Lex Luthor pay for their wedding.
The alter turned into a kryptonite death machine before they even got to the vows and, really, that was sloppy on Luthor's part. It's tragic and memorable to kill the darling love birds in that moment of perfect wedding bliss, but murdered during the introduction? That's just tacky.
Luckily, Kory was seriously the best Not-Girlfriend ever and blew up the bad Transformer knock-off before it even finished ramping up it's glowing green lasers. (Kon would like to point out he was most certainly not curled up on the floor in the fetal position. That was Clark. Kon was just kneeling dramatically, not whimpering in manly pain.) The best part was when she dug out the motherboard before it could self-destruct and showed the police it's shiny LexCorp logo. Lex was pissed.
Her dress was ruined, the church was ruined, and the priest was actually a hired LexCorp goon with a theater degree, and Kon stared at the headless ice swan, wondering how the hell they were gonna fix this in time for the vows.
“Kory,” He said apologetically, “I think we're gonna have to think more along the lines of a Vegas Vacation. This,” Kon waved at the mess, “Is beyond a dustpan.”
“Hmm?” She smiled, waving at the hazmat suit containment team carting away the robot. “Oh,” Kory laughed and said simply, “We're not getting married.”
Kon was confused. Terribly, horribly, I-just-realized-I'm-not-wearing-pants-during-history-class, confused. “We're not?”
“Mm-mm,” Kory shook her head and threw a water bottle in the trash like they were talking about making dinner.
“Then,” Kon huffed, rubbing the back of his head roughly, “What were we doing before? Since we weren't getting married.”
“Tricking Luthor into revealing himself in a public setting.”
Tricking Luthor... “Holy shit,” Kon yelled, “You mean this - all this - was just to fuck over Luthor? You know it won't stick, right? He'll be back making death rays before dinner! And - Dinner! You made me sit through four rehearsal dinners for this!”
“Well,” Kory explained sheepishly, “The caterer was excellent.”
Kon growled and didn't set the white streamers on fire, and he didn't throw a pew through the apse and he only melted the pathetic broken swan a little bit.
But, hey, this was a good thing, right? Kon's life was saved! No more picking up his socks or cooking crazy-assed pregnant meals when he could be eating pizza. He could pick up college chicks and go to frat parties without feeling like a skeeze bag, since, hey, she's the one who called off the wedding.
Life was good!
… except it sucked.
Kon should be happy about it. He'd been freaking out over little gold rings for months and now that everything was going the way of the dodo, he was free!
No Kory, no baby, no responsibility, and Kon didn't like that at all. He liked making dinner with Kory's list of crazy cravings and having her look at him like he hung the sun when she was done eating it. He liked picking out pink baby clothes and hiding them in his room so no one knew he wanted a little girl. He liked having a problem and being able to ask someone else what they thought without being treated like a stupid kid cause they were in this together.
Kon really liked having a family.
“Kory!” Kon called, jogging down the aisle to meet her before she left, “I, well.”
She cocked her head and gave that mysterious smile that meant she understood everything and nothing at all and he nearly swallowed his tongue and gave up, except this was his only chance to keep this.
Kon took her hand and knelt, twining his fingers with hers. “Koriand'r, will you marry me?”
And, in an instance, it was over. She laughed, pulled her hand out of his, and shook her head, “Of course not.”
“What?” Kon gaped, wounded. The last few months meant nothing to her?
“You're being ridiculous,” She shrugged and walked down the aisle in the face of aghast guest.
Bart was at his side in an instance, and Kon appreciated his ability to keep his mouth shut. A man needed to collect his pride in peace.
Then, Kory looked over her shoulder and crooked her brow, “Well?” She said, impatiently, “Aren't you coming?”
Kon stared.
“I'm not cooking dinner.”
And Kon got it. No one else seemed too understand, but that didn't matter. Kon and Kory weren't married. The priest and the chapel had nothing to do managing the budget or seeing the sonograms and it wasn't the important part of any of this. Marriage was a big eight letter word that didn't matter right now. One way or another, they were a family, and Kon was pretty okay with that.
He stood up slowly and gave her a shaky grin, “Yeah? Well, I can't blame you. Your cooking tastes like shit.”