i am addicted to limewire
Everyone always percieves there personal situation to be the worst. Which makes sense because how bad someone else is doing still doesn't change how your life is, or how shitty the things in it are going. Of course you can sympathize, as can they, but sympathy doesn't really get you anywhere.
On that note.
I shall complain.
Not for sympathy's sake, but for sanity's sake.
I HATE THIS.
I see tina constantly, i see anna sometimes, and puppy sometimes (but a sometimes that is less than the sometimes that i see anna). i dont ever see anyone else. tim has made a bit of an effort but eh, he has his own priorities, which he should. As do anna and puppy and everyone else here in tally. I'm just really left out of everything in life.
One year of drunken stupor and mistakes and such was enough for me. I dont want to do it again. i want my own house, far from here, i want my own quiet little life. that'd be nice. so very nice. I'm left out of wanting to party at all of our new sophomore year apartments, because i just plain dont want to go watch the boys play beer pong for 4 hours, and there's nothing left to know or joke about in ring of fire. Parking is awful, id just rather stay home and nap, or eat, or sleep, or do hw, or talk on the fone to kyle, or play with jelly.
I'm left out of date nights that all of my friends have because only 2 of my friends are not in committed relationships right now, so certain nights of the week that i'd be up for actually going out and doing something, no one else can because they have obligations and premade plans to do something with their boyfriend or girlfriend, which makes sense to me because if kyle was here i'd do the same damn thing, but kyle isnt here. It sucks going to gatherings and seeing everyone all over each other who they care so much about. everyone always gets to sleep over each others houses and cuddle and i dont. Why would i want to be around that? it'd put me in a shitty mood, and then put everyone else in a shitty mood and i dont want to do that.
I'm left out of many chill hanging out evening activities because thats when i have class. tina got me excited about these auditions for some play, but the rehearsels are during my class times.
I'm left out of partying in the week because i dont drink without kyle. or with people that arent anna ryan and tina.
i'm left out of having a job i need a job but not a huge 30 hour a week job, and company' dont really want such small time workers. but i've got to figure something out.
i'm left out of being a freshman like kyle and dorm life, where everything is new and fun and interesting, and your worried about cops and RA's, and theres always a party or a club or just hanging out w/everyone to be done. I mean alot of times it was just like "wow i cant get my hw done cuz everyone is around" or "im so hungover" or whatever else. But you dont remember that in reflection you remember the fun things you did.
im left out of wanting to go away to places other than home or ft. meyers for the weekends because my money is precious to me and in my mind its money taht could be spent on gas to kyle.
i'm left out of having someone to talk to, or cuddle with, or do nothing with, or eat with, or do stupid things with.
i'm sick of feeling like a puppy im sad most of the time.
I feel like he’s fine and well and good and granted that’s what I want for him but at the same time it feels good to be missed, it lets someone know they’re cared about. I guess I’m just really insecure because that’s all I have. I have absoloutly 100%, NOTHING. He has all these things i dont, and i'm so very jealous of them, and his capabilities and willingness to block me out of mind and memory.
I don’t have a major, I don’t have a family, and only 1 person I really care about, its so mean when I say things like this but its true, If I stopped being friends w/ all my friends now, there’s only 2 people I’d truly miss as friends. Don’t get me wrong im glad I have people in my life, but im sure if ppl looked at it analytically they’d see, that they too wouldn’t really miss me either.
My head hurts, ive had a shitty yesterday, and a shitty today. But last night was kind of cool. I hung out w/ the kids I don’t normally hang out with, it was refreshing, but now its been overridden
On that note.
I shall complain.
Not for sympathy's sake, but for sanity's sake.
I HATE THIS.
I see tina constantly, i see anna sometimes, and puppy sometimes (but a sometimes that is less than the sometimes that i see anna). i dont ever see anyone else. tim has made a bit of an effort but eh, he has his own priorities, which he should. As do anna and puppy and everyone else here in tally. I'm just really left out of everything in life.
One year of drunken stupor and mistakes and such was enough for me. I dont want to do it again. i want my own house, far from here, i want my own quiet little life. that'd be nice. so very nice. I'm left out of wanting to party at all of our new sophomore year apartments, because i just plain dont want to go watch the boys play beer pong for 4 hours, and there's nothing left to know or joke about in ring of fire. Parking is awful, id just rather stay home and nap, or eat, or sleep, or do hw, or talk on the fone to kyle, or play with jelly.
I'm left out of date nights that all of my friends have because only 2 of my friends are not in committed relationships right now, so certain nights of the week that i'd be up for actually going out and doing something, no one else can because they have obligations and premade plans to do something with their boyfriend or girlfriend, which makes sense to me because if kyle was here i'd do the same damn thing, but kyle isnt here. It sucks going to gatherings and seeing everyone all over each other who they care so much about. everyone always gets to sleep over each others houses and cuddle and i dont. Why would i want to be around that? it'd put me in a shitty mood, and then put everyone else in a shitty mood and i dont want to do that.
I'm left out of many chill hanging out evening activities because thats when i have class. tina got me excited about these auditions for some play, but the rehearsels are during my class times.
I'm left out of partying in the week because i dont drink without kyle. or with people that arent anna ryan and tina.
i'm left out of having a job i need a job but not a huge 30 hour a week job, and company' dont really want such small time workers. but i've got to figure something out.
i'm left out of being a freshman like kyle and dorm life, where everything is new and fun and interesting, and your worried about cops and RA's, and theres always a party or a club or just hanging out w/everyone to be done. I mean alot of times it was just like "wow i cant get my hw done cuz everyone is around" or "im so hungover" or whatever else. But you dont remember that in reflection you remember the fun things you did.
im left out of wanting to go away to places other than home or ft. meyers for the weekends because my money is precious to me and in my mind its money taht could be spent on gas to kyle.
i'm left out of having someone to talk to, or cuddle with, or do nothing with, or eat with, or do stupid things with.
i'm sick of feeling like a puppy im sad most of the time.
I feel like he’s fine and well and good and granted that’s what I want for him but at the same time it feels good to be missed, it lets someone know they’re cared about. I guess I’m just really insecure because that’s all I have. I have absoloutly 100%, NOTHING. He has all these things i dont, and i'm so very jealous of them, and his capabilities and willingness to block me out of mind and memory.
I don’t have a major, I don’t have a family, and only 1 person I really care about, its so mean when I say things like this but its true, If I stopped being friends w/ all my friends now, there’s only 2 people I’d truly miss as friends. Don’t get me wrong im glad I have people in my life, but im sure if ppl looked at it analytically they’d see, that they too wouldn’t really miss me either.
My head hurts, ive had a shitty yesterday, and a shitty today. But last night was kind of cool. I hung out w/ the kids I don’t normally hang out with, it was refreshing, but now its been overridden