it was only a matter of time until I snapped
Well, it almost feels like may of 2001 instead of may 2005. That was the last time I felt this stressed out as if everything was falling down on me. This semester I thought I was doing good, considering my break-up with my "common law" husband. But what I'm realizing is that I've just kept it all inside, and I just needed something to make me pop. I've popped. Saturday Jess had another seizure. I'm not about to get into it just because this is live journal, and that's my extreme personal business. If you are that curious you can ask... She's fine, but I won't be mentally fine until I'm home with her (yes I know it'll be soon, so don't remind me). I'm just loosing it because I feel like I signed my life away. You have no idea what an ordeal it is to get an apartment in NYC. I envy every single one of you that get to live in dorms all four years of college. You will never know the feeling of not having a place to live. I was number 407 in fit's lottery to get housing for fall and spring... 407... Only about 20 upper classmen are lucky enough to get housing, so that means numbers 1-20 have a slight chance of getting housing... 407 ... THANK GOD I just signed the lease today, because if I had to write one more check for $1000+ I was going to chop my head off and serve it to the broker on a nice platter. I definately didn't need to hear today that I need to have yet another "certified" check made out for an obscene amount of money to be handed in by friday. What do I fucking look like? I'm sick and tired of this fucking loud ass annoying bitch of a city. All I do is sweat and walk everywhere... but am I thin from walking? NO... My patience are SHOT, completely. I am so sick of every little thing that I'm snapping and/or crying at everything. I am not happy. I have nothing to do for the next 2.5 weeks... nothing, 3 finals that I don't care about because I'm not in the right state of mind to take them anyway. I'm so sick of everyone around me whinning about everything. I just can't wait to have a long summer break and then I'll be ready for ny again. Hopefully.