Hickeys: Stupid Shit
A number of incidents recently made me look yet again at man's worst discovery: The Hickey. The Hickey is a lot of things. It's ugly, stupid looking, tacky, at times painful and ultimately it is the sign of insecurity. When I look a hickey in the hickey, it says a lot of things to me. "I was with someone lame and insecure last night", they sometimes say. Sometimes it's just a signature. To sign one's work--no, one's Property. The Hickey is to make sure that the one who received it understands their place as the giver's Bitch. It's human branding.
Maybe this is just a personal thing, but I have never enjoyed hickeys. And just think about them--not individually, but as a whole. Think about how these fuckers (the hickeys them selves, not the givers) get so many people in trouble. Think about all the middle school girls in turtle necks and the boys with big collared leather jackets in the summer. Think about the biting sting when you first get one, thinking casually, stupidly to yourself "I bet that'll leave a mark...". Think about the dread in the pit of your stomach when your trying to cover one up, looking at that signature in the bathroom mirror.
Just stop. Please. It's embarrassing. No one needs your insecure neck-sucking bull shit.
Maybe this is just a personal thing, but I have never enjoyed hickeys. And just think about them--not individually, but as a whole. Think about how these fuckers (the hickeys them selves, not the givers) get so many people in trouble. Think about all the middle school girls in turtle necks and the boys with big collared leather jackets in the summer. Think about the biting sting when you first get one, thinking casually, stupidly to yourself "I bet that'll leave a mark...". Think about the dread in the pit of your stomach when your trying to cover one up, looking at that signature in the bathroom mirror.
Just stop. Please. It's embarrassing. No one needs your insecure neck-sucking bull shit.