ain't no king, man; she's my queen
The DW friending meme is fun! *waves to new people* Hopefully I will manage to blog 2-3 times a week (at least) instead of just 1-2.
Now that I am teaching semi-regularly, I have been musing more on the difficulty of being an introvert in an extrovert's profession. Sometimes I look forward to teaching and dread it at the same time, especially in the weeks it takes me to adjust to a new environment/new people. If I have a bad day, I will half-convince myself that I should have pursued a quiet, hermit-like existence as an academic.
I have lots of qualities that make me well-suited for teaching. I am smart and a big old nerd who LOVES learning. I think that fresh approaches to curriculum are essential; so is questioning/revising the curriculum. I am patient and cheerful and believe in all my students. I think education for social justice is A+, if you'll pardon the pun.
On the other hand, I am not a natural leader of people I don't know well. I am perfectly at ease with organizing a group project with my friends, or gently keeping my lovely but chatty coworkers at Job #2 on-task. I am horrid at leading a class on the first week of class, much less the first day. I guess it takes me longer to build a comfort level than some people. [Side note: I know that teaching is far outside most people's comfort zone, but the number teachers/directors I associate with skew my social circle.]
The bright side of being way too retiring in a new environment is that small children can always sense that I am the go-to girl for all hand-holding and hugs. How do they always know??? It is a mystery.
My normal approach to pushing myself outside my comfort zone is useless. Usually, I just act the part, whether it's the perfect Yuppie Food Restaurant employee or the perfect interviewee or what have you. I love acting, and inside this introvert is a narcissist longing for freedom. The trouble with acting the perfect teacher, though, is that my primary focus transfers from my students to myself, which is unacceptable. Until I get more teaching experience, I think my students are stuck with a few weeks of my awkwardness before I suddenly reveal myself as a being of (somewhat) competence.
[Side note the second: I wonder the "fake it 'til you make it" approach would work better for teaching if I were a better actor. I can convey emotion because I get caught up in the beauty of the words and I feel the emotion contained in the words. I don't think I have ever fully become a character; though I have felt an absence of myself with the playwright's words in their place, there is always a part of me that is too conscious of being onstage speaking words. Words, words, words. I like them. I also like quoting Hamlet. /pretentious]
Long story short: it's hard out there for an introvert, yo!
http://ophelia.dreamwidth.org/473334.html |
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Now that I am teaching semi-regularly, I have been musing more on the difficulty of being an introvert in an extrovert's profession. Sometimes I look forward to teaching and dread it at the same time, especially in the weeks it takes me to adjust to a new environment/new people. If I have a bad day, I will half-convince myself that I should have pursued a quiet, hermit-like existence as an academic.
I have lots of qualities that make me well-suited for teaching. I am smart and a big old nerd who LOVES learning. I think that fresh approaches to curriculum are essential; so is questioning/revising the curriculum. I am patient and cheerful and believe in all my students. I think education for social justice is A+, if you'll pardon the pun.
On the other hand, I am not a natural leader of people I don't know well. I am perfectly at ease with organizing a group project with my friends, or gently keeping my lovely but chatty coworkers at Job #2 on-task. I am horrid at leading a class on the first week of class, much less the first day. I guess it takes me longer to build a comfort level than some people. [Side note: I know that teaching is far outside most people's comfort zone, but the number teachers/directors I associate with skew my social circle.]
The bright side of being way too retiring in a new environment is that small children can always sense that I am the go-to girl for all hand-holding and hugs. How do they always know??? It is a mystery.
My normal approach to pushing myself outside my comfort zone is useless. Usually, I just act the part, whether it's the perfect Yuppie Food Restaurant employee or the perfect interviewee or what have you. I love acting, and inside this introvert is a narcissist longing for freedom. The trouble with acting the perfect teacher, though, is that my primary focus transfers from my students to myself, which is unacceptable. Until I get more teaching experience, I think my students are stuck with a few weeks of my awkwardness before I suddenly reveal myself as a being of (somewhat) competence.
[Side note the second: I wonder the "fake it 'til you make it" approach would work better for teaching if I were a better actor. I can convey emotion because I get caught up in the beauty of the words and I feel the emotion contained in the words. I don't think I have ever fully become a character; though I have felt an absence of myself with the playwright's words in their place, there is always a part of me that is too conscious of being onstage speaking words. Words, words, words. I like them. I also like quoting Hamlet. /pretentious]
Long story short: it's hard out there for an introvert, yo!
http://ophelia.dreamwidth.org/473334.html |
comments | Comment at Dreamwidth