[Cid offered him the inevitable cock-eye and leaned back with a heavy rustic sigh. All before he lightly bapped Reeve up the backside of his head. It would have been harder if he wasn't bein nice.]
What are you stupid? What are you blind? Or is all that cry'n make'n it too hard for you to see who the hell I am? Hold up before I really knock you silly.
[He squeezed him there, an arm around his shoulder, giving his arm a good shake to rattle him up. More hopefully to rattle those ill thoughts out of his muddled head.]
I don't give two damns how many times you fall on your ass. No normal fella goes through life without make'n a few mistakes. An while I admit, yeah the ones pulled were pretty screwed up, that's no excuse good enough for me to refuse help'n you get up again. What kinna frien' do you take me for?
[All this talk of being human again, caused him to pause and take a quick glance at his gloved hands. Yeah he knew what that was all about. The body was changin, but like hell was he gonna let it change his mind! This was just common sense Reeve shoulda known too!]
What are you still goin on about this for? You see shit in your head, but none of it's for real. You're free now! You keep dwell'n on that asshole, then you'll just be take'n that freedom for granted. Nothin's gonna hurt ya here, I don't care if he's dead or alive, I'll stick with you till it's over. Heh.. we all will.
I can only pick you up physically, Reeve. It's gonna take you to do it in all other senses of the word.
[Sometimes it was easy for him to forget that Cid was, despite his backwater ways and rough way of speaking, a rocket scientist- and a wealth of common sense. Which was good, since that was something Reeve himself lacked. So when the pilot thumped him upside the head, he managed a vague attempt at a smile, rubbing his forehead briefly.]
Heh. Not as if... it would do much damage. Thick skull and all.
[He tried to squirm away from the tight grip- while Cid was one of his closest friends, he still had issues with being confined. The shake was enough to push that out of his head- only Cid could hug you and rattle you at the same time and make it seem friendly.]
It's not... not that. I don't... I'm afraid I'm only making trouble for you... all of you. Heh... you're entirely too good of a friend sometimes... y'know? I...
I know it's over. I know I'm free... but then I see the scars and... it all comes back, Cid, it all comes back and I can't outrun it! I don't... I.... heh. I suppose... it's either root hog or die, huh? I don't... I don't want to let him win, I don't want that sick fuck running my life! I just.... don't think I can face it alone. Not alone!
[The dam burst with that emphatic statement; he began to weep, head resting against his friend's shoulder and sobbing the way he hadn't been able to before the whole mess started. He'd refused to give Crane the pleasure of seeing him break like this, had fought it until the bitter end... but Cid wasn't Crane. He was a friend- and that made it safe enough to let go. After a while he began to laugh very softly even through the tears.]
Pick me up too many times... and you'll throw your back out. You're no... spring chocobo, y'know.
[He's seen it comin a mile away, and his shoulder was steady and ready and waitin for it. That inevitable drench of hot tears staining into his shirt. The feeling was nothing unfamiliar to him, for some damn reason people had this ideal about him that he was a good ashtray for their snivelin! Well.. He patted him tenderly on the back, pressing a firm hold to him to rub out any thought of doubt from him, not like it bothered him much. It was Reeve after all. But all this talkin was just distraction from the real problem.]
Just shut up a bit, will ya?
[The more he talked, more he sounded like Vin, the old Vin. And Gaia, one angsty red man was enough for him. But he supposed having dealt with the gunmen and his crap had given him a bit of experience in these sorts of @#$%ed up situations. Damnit, why'd it always have to be mad doctors screw'n with peoples' lives?]
I'll tell ya somethin I told Vin.. Those scars you have? They say stuff like that is supposed to tell a story. M'sure you're probably think it's a story about how you suffered, well it's not.
Scars are marks of victory. Kinna like onna those T-shirts you get at Goldsaucer, only it says "I survived a life or death situation and all I got was this stupid scar!" Heheh, you get it?
Tsk, course you do, you're smart. You don't need me to tell you all this, so just..
[Leaning his head against Reeve's he took to simply holding him till it was all out. Till every gasp and wheeze left him and the last drops fell and left his clothing a salty mess. Heck he needed to wash it soon anyway.]
Keep quiet for a bit an listen to yourself a while.
[He hushed when told to, simply sitting there and trembling, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand like a child might and listening. The mention of Vincent's name made him raise his head slightly in confusion.]
Tell... a story? But....
[The worst thing about geting advice from Cid was that he was almost always right- but that was sort of comforting in its own way. That, and the comparison of scars to novelty t-shirts made him smile, just a bit. It was a gross oversimplification of the situation, but... it made sense. And while that was how he'd seen it in others- Vincent, Cloud, Cid, so many others, assuming their scars to be marks of strength- he'd never once considered applying the same principle to himself.]
... I never even... thought about it that way. With Vincent, yes, but... never... never myself.
[Closing his eyes again, he leaned against Cid, letting himself calm down- normally he'd be embarassed about falling to pieces like this, but this had been building up ever since the confrontation with Crane at the Gala, and if he didn't let it out, it would tear him apart. Finally he raised his head again, and gave hsi friend a quizzical look.]
[They just never got it, did they? Always lookin to him for the answer when they could all too easily figure out how to solve their own damn problems themselves. He sighed heavily, grumbling something obscene, before just taking to rubbing the back of Reeve's head, almost stroking him like the little toy cats he made. Couldn't blame the man, could he? He was so confused and broken up at this point, even if he did just keep quiet for a while, all he'd hear is white noise.]
M'just sayin I don't got all the answers, OK? These things eatin away at you, well.. Well I can only say so much to get you to work your way up that mile-stone. The rest you gotta go on your own. You're strong, you got me?
Don't let no one tell you otherwise, I'm tellin you that sayin pertains to you too; those marks show you had the will to live another day. Hell I can't say that about even a third'a my scars.
((ooc: Reeve it's nap time, Cid makes a good bed! ))
[Now that the storm had passed he was drained, exhausted- but another part of him felt lighter than it had in weeks. He laughed softly at the obscenities- it would have been more unnatural if Cid hadn't started swearing at some point- and sat there, head on his shoulder, eyes closed and simply appreciating the fact that he was safe. Which was really about the only coheent thought he had. So many other things were jumbled in his mind now that he didn't know where to begin- except with that one fact. He was safe.]
Mmm... you're right. I suppose... I just needed a good kick in the ass to get started. And... I'll try to... to keep that in mind.
[If he touched his chest now, he'd be able to feel the scars and bandages under his shirt, marks traced over prominent ribs... but he'd taken enough steps today, and pushing it any further wouldn't help any. Baby steps, hadn't they called it? One foot in front of the other and all that. But now he was tired, wiped both physically and mentally... and safe... and before long he fell asleep, still slumped against Cid as if he were a pillow and snoring softly.]
((ooc: XD Nap time is good, yes. <3 And Cid makes an awesome pillow. Much love for Cid. <333))
What are you stupid? What are you blind? Or is all that cry'n make'n it too hard for you to see who the hell I am? Hold up before I really knock you silly.
[He squeezed him there, an arm around his shoulder, giving his arm a good shake to rattle him up. More hopefully to rattle those ill thoughts out of his muddled head.]
I don't give two damns how many times you fall on your ass. No normal fella goes through life without make'n a few mistakes. An while I admit, yeah the ones pulled were pretty screwed up, that's no excuse good enough for me to refuse help'n you get up again. What kinna frien' do you take me for?
[All this talk of being human again, caused him to pause and take a quick glance at his gloved hands. Yeah he knew what that was all about. The body was changin, but like hell was he gonna let it change his mind! This was just common sense Reeve shoulda known too!]
What are you still goin on about this for? You see shit in your head, but none of it's for real. You're free now! You keep dwell'n on that asshole, then you'll just be take'n that freedom for granted. Nothin's gonna hurt ya here, I don't care if he's dead or alive, I'll stick with you till it's over. Heh.. we all will.
I can only pick you up physically, Reeve. It's gonna take you to do it in all other senses of the word.
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Heh. Not as if... it would do much damage. Thick skull and all.
[He tried to squirm away from the tight grip- while Cid was one of his closest friends, he still had issues with being confined. The shake was enough to push that out of his head- only Cid could hug you and rattle you at the same time and make it seem friendly.]
It's not... not that. I don't... I'm afraid I'm only making trouble for you... all of you. Heh... you're entirely too good of a friend sometimes... y'know? I...
I know it's over. I know I'm free... but then I see the scars and... it all comes back, Cid, it all comes back and I can't outrun it! I don't... I.... heh. I suppose... it's either root hog or die, huh? I don't... I don't want to let him win, I don't want that sick fuck running my life! I just.... don't think I can face it alone. Not alone!
[The dam burst with that emphatic statement; he began to weep, head resting against his friend's shoulder and sobbing the way he hadn't been able to before the whole mess started. He'd refused to give Crane the pleasure of seeing him break like this, had fought it until the bitter end... but Cid wasn't Crane. He was a friend- and that made it safe enough to let go. After a while he began to laugh very softly even through the tears.]
Pick me up too many times... and you'll throw your back out. You're no... spring chocobo, y'know.
Reply
[He's seen it comin a mile away, and his shoulder was steady and ready and waitin for it. That inevitable drench of hot tears staining into his shirt. The feeling was nothing unfamiliar to him, for some damn reason people had this ideal about him that he was a good ashtray for their snivelin! Well.. He patted him tenderly on the back, pressing a firm hold to him to rub out any thought of doubt from him, not like it bothered him much. It was Reeve after all. But all this talkin was just distraction from the real problem.]
Just shut up a bit, will ya?
[The more he talked, more he sounded like Vin, the old Vin. And Gaia, one angsty red man was enough for him. But he supposed having dealt with the gunmen and his crap had given him a bit of experience in these sorts of @#$%ed up situations. Damnit, why'd it always have to be mad doctors screw'n with peoples' lives?]
I'll tell ya somethin I told Vin.. Those scars you have? They say stuff like that is supposed to tell a story. M'sure you're probably think it's a story about how you suffered, well it's not.
Scars are marks of victory. Kinna like onna those T-shirts you get at Goldsaucer, only it says "I survived a life or death situation and all I got was this stupid scar!" Heheh, you get it?
Tsk, course you do, you're smart. You don't need me to tell you all this, so just..
[Leaning his head against Reeve's he took to simply holding him till it was all out. Till every gasp and wheeze left him and the last drops fell and left his clothing a salty mess. Heck he needed to wash it soon anyway.]
Keep quiet for a bit an listen to yourself a while.
Reply
Tell... a story? But....
[The worst thing about geting advice from Cid was that he was almost always right- but that was sort of comforting in its own way. That, and the comparison of scars to novelty t-shirts made him smile, just a bit. It was a gross oversimplification of the situation, but... it made sense. And while that was how he'd seen it in others- Vincent, Cloud, Cid, so many others, assuming their scars to be marks of strength- he'd never once considered applying the same principle to himself.]
... I never even... thought about it that way. With Vincent, yes, but... never... never myself.
[Closing his eyes again, he leaned against Cid, letting himself calm down- normally he'd be embarassed about falling to pieces like this, but this had been building up ever since the confrontation with Crane at the Gala, and if he didn't let it out, it would tear him apart. Finally he raised his head again, and gave hsi friend a quizzical look.]
... listen to myself...? I don't understand.
Reply
M'just sayin I don't got all the answers, OK? These things eatin away at you, well.. Well I can only say so much to get you to work your way up that mile-stone. The rest you gotta go on your own. You're strong, you got me?
Don't let no one tell you otherwise, I'm tellin you that sayin pertains to you too; those marks show you had the will to live another day. Hell I can't say that about even a third'a my scars.
((ooc: Reeve it's nap time, Cid makes a good bed! ))
Reply
Mmm... you're right. I suppose... I just needed a good kick in the ass to get started. And... I'll try to... to keep that in mind.
[If he touched his chest now, he'd be able to feel the scars and bandages under his shirt, marks traced over prominent ribs... but he'd taken enough steps today, and pushing it any further wouldn't help any. Baby steps, hadn't they called it? One foot in front of the other and all that. But now he was tired, wiped both physically and mentally... and safe... and before long he fell asleep, still slumped against Cid as if he were a pillow and snoring softly.]
((ooc: XD Nap time is good, yes. <3 And Cid makes an awesome pillow. Much love for Cid. <333))
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