TM Challenge 174
That's an idiot question. What do you think, I put myself up for this supposing it was going to be nothing but riding around looking like a princely ass? I could have gone to the monastery if I'd wanted to be safe. That was my other choice. But I'm no scholar, even if I am a fool with a sword in my hands, and I chose to embarrass my family as a knight instead.
And I knew from the beginning it would mean lopping off heads and running people through with lances, even if I did know too that it would be more me trying to dodge all that than doing it myself. I've spent more time running away than I have actually fighting, because knights kill people, and I'm not, really, skilled enough to save my own skin except by running. I don't mind admitting it. It's no shame to me--perhaps to my family, but not to me.
And I have killed men. Perhaps not well; but surely. You think there should be a heaviness to go with that? I've never felt it. I don't know whether I should. I don't fault myself at night or dream of what I've done. When you're borne down on, you do your hardest to come out of it the man still alive, and that's all. No great matter, unless you're the one who dies.
I haven't been yet, God preserve me and tap on wood. We'll see. Meantime I'll go on blundering around in my armour pretending I know what the hell I'm doing, and, since it'll always be me, may the worst man win. I'm not afraid to.
Words: 278
And I knew from the beginning it would mean lopping off heads and running people through with lances, even if I did know too that it would be more me trying to dodge all that than doing it myself. I've spent more time running away than I have actually fighting, because knights kill people, and I'm not, really, skilled enough to save my own skin except by running. I don't mind admitting it. It's no shame to me--perhaps to my family, but not to me.
And I have killed men. Perhaps not well; but surely. You think there should be a heaviness to go with that? I've never felt it. I don't know whether I should. I don't fault myself at night or dream of what I've done. When you're borne down on, you do your hardest to come out of it the man still alive, and that's all. No great matter, unless you're the one who dies.
I haven't been yet, God preserve me and tap on wood. We'll see. Meantime I'll go on blundering around in my armour pretending I know what the hell I'm doing, and, since it'll always be me, may the worst man win. I'm not afraid to.
Words: 278