Title: For You
Beta:
u-know
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst
Summary: His life turned around the moment he met Yunho.
As soon as Jaejoong saw Yunho standing on the sidewalk, he ran up to his boyfriend and shoved him roughly. He could feel the tears in his eyes, and he wiped his eyes to hit Yunho again.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Yunho tried to hug Jaejoong, but the latter pushed him away. He shook his head and wiped his eyes, “Don’t touch me!”
“I’m sorry -“
“For what? For ignoring me? For pushing me away?” Jaejoong snapped angrily, “Stop lying to me all the time! Do you know how hard it’s been for me these past few days? Stop walking away from me!”
“Jaejoong -“
“I don’t know what your family did to you, but I would never do that to you!” Jaejoong shouted, the tears flowing down his cheeks, “You push me away, and I’m stupid enough to not take the hint that you want nothing to do with me!”
When Jaejoong looked up at Yunho, he realized that Yunho’s eyes were red. He let out a small gasp, and Yunho shook his head, “Don’t worry -“
Jaejoong’s temper flared, and he hit Yunho on the chest again. “Stop telling me not to worry about you!” he yelled back, hitting Yunho repeatedly, “If I stopped worrying about you that would mean I didn’t care, and fuck you Yunho, because I do care. You can’t just abandon me -“
“I would never abandon you,” Yunho whispered as he pulled Jaejoong closer and cupped his cheeks. He brushed away the tears that slipped down, “I’m so sorry, but…it’s just…it’s hard to talk about.”
“You have to trust me.”
Yunho pressed his forehead against Jaejoong’s and held him close, “I know.” His eyes fluttered shut, and Jaejoong held him closer. He pressed a kiss against Yunho’s lips and ran his hands through his hair soothingly.
“I won’t leave, I promise,” Jaejoong whispered comfortingly as he ran his hands through Yunho’s hair to calm him, “I won’t leave you.”
Yunho grasped him tightly, and Jaejoong felt his heart break when Yunho began to sob against his shoulder. Yunho’s shoulders shook as he sobbed, and Jaejoong pulled him closer, hoping that he would be able to help Yunho in the same way that Yunho had helped him.
o-o-o
Jaejoong felt someone nudge his shoulder, and he opened his eyes tiredly to look up at Yunho. Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask why he’d been woken up, Yunho held him closely and inhaled.
When Yunho had let go, he moved away from Jaejoong and sat down. He breathed in deeply and helped Jaejoong sit up. He took a hold of Jaejoong’s hands and looked down at them, “I came out to my sister when I was eighteen, and she…she promised to keep it a secret from my parents.”
Jaejoong watched Yunho carefully and nodded, “But?”
“One day…she came to my room and told me she was disgusted with me,” Yunho took a deep intake of breath, “That…she couldn’t hide what I was anymore. I didn’t know what to do, and…when my parents came home, I thought she would tell them, so I came out to them in the hopes that they would accept me...”
Yunho shut his eyes and held onto Jaejoong’s hands tighter, “She didn’t even try to defend me, and my parents wanted nothing more to do with me. They kicked me out of the house, and only my uncle…” he choked back a sob, “Only my uncle accepted me. I tried to call them, but they never answered until one day, my sister called me and told me to stop -“
The tears began to fall, and Jaejoong’s heart clenched in his chest. In comparison to how Yunho’s family had treated him due to his sexuality, his own father seemed better in his eyes.
“Please don’t leave me,” Yunho pleaded desperately as he held Jaejoong closely and buried his face into his chest, “Don’t leave me like they did. Please, don’t. I can’t lose you. Don’t -”
Jaejoong shook his head and held Yunho close.
“I promise you, I won’t leave.”
o-o-o
Hours after Jaejoong was assured that Yunho had calmed down significantly and had finally fallen asleep, he crept out of bed and reached for his phone. He quietly slipped out of the room and shut the door behind him, and his feet made soft footfalls on the carpeted floor.
Although he was consumed by intense anger towards the people that had hurt Yunho so deeply, he knew there were two sides to every story. Jaejoong took a deep breath and pushed his feelings aside before he dialed Yoonhee’s number.
She picked up on the fifth ring, and he spoke first.
“He told me about what happened.”
Yoonhee breathed in deeply, “And? Do you hate me now?” she asked softly, “I would understand if you did. He hates me.”
“I want to know your side first,” Jaejoong murmured as he moved further away from the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. He sat down on the kitchen stool and kept his eyes in the direction where Yunho would come from if ever he woke up. It would not be a good idea for him to be caught speaking to his sister. “I’m trying not to make harsh accusations without further input.”
“And what do you want to know?” Yoonhee questioned, “How do I know that you’re not just doing this to hurt me? I know I hurt my brother, and you may be looking for some kind of revenge, but trust me, knowing what I did to him is enough -“
“Why did you break your promise?”
Yoonhee inhaled sharply and let out a shuddery breath, “I was scared. My parents were suspicious of Yunho because of how disinterested he was with girls, and they…they were just so full of hate. I was so scared of what to do if ever they found out that I knew Yunho was gay. I had nowhere to go if they abandoned me. I didn’t want them to kick Yunho out, but I couldn’t do anything -“
“Why did you tell him to stop calling then?”
Jaejoong listened for an answer, but Yoonhee let out a choked back sob. His heart clenched in pity, and he tightened his grip on the phone as he waited for her to reply to him.
“I didn’t want him to call anymore,” Yoonhee confessed, “You don’t know what kind of messages he left for us. I listened to every single one of them before my parents could delete them, and my heart broke for him. I didn’t want him to keep reaching out to people that would never grow to accept him. I wanted him to move on, and when I came to Seoul years ago, I realized that...trying to reach out to him would be futile. He would want nothing to do with me for betraying him.”
“Yoonhee…”
Yoonhee cried, and Jaejoong could hear her sniffle, “I’m sorry, I can’t talk to you anymore. Please, take care of my brother. He deserves someone like you. I know you will take care of him.”
“Yoonhee -“
The line went dead, and Jaejoong stared at his phone. He now knew both sides of the story, but he had no clue as to what to do. Family would still be a delicate matter with Yunho and pushing him to meet Yoonhee would only have adverse effects.
He sighed softly and placed his phone down before he walked back to the bedroom and joined Yunho back on the bed. As he slowly carded his fingers through Yunho’s hair, Jaejoong knew that dealing with Yoonhee would have to wait.
At that moment, the most important thing he had to do was take care of Yunho.
o-o-o
Jaejoong cooked lunch, all the while keeping his eye on Yunho, who was looking over some documents at the table. He said nothing as he watched Yunho work carefully, and when he set the food down onto the table, Yunho finally looked up at him, his eyes still slightly red.
“I made lunch,” Jaejoong murmured with a small smile as he placed a plate in front of Yunho and sat down next to him. He pushed Yunho’s papers aside and began to serve food onto his plate, “You have to eat a lot.”
“Jaejoong -“
“I don’t think you’ve noticed, but you’ve lost a lot of weight,” Jaejoong continued, ignoring Yunho completely as he served generous helpings of food onto his plate, “I know you’re stressed, but you should still -“
Yunho turned Jaejoong’s face and silenced him with a kiss, causing Jaejoong’s eyes to flutter shut in response. He felt Yunho pull him closer, and Jaejoong’s face heated up. He opened his mouth for Yunho, and as he felt Yunho’s tongue wrap around his, his heart pounded faster in his chest.
Yunho’s hands cupped his face, and Jaejoong awkwardly leaned in further to deepen their kisses. He felt himself near the edge of his seat, and his knees soon bumped against Yunho’s legs. Jaejoong pulled away, and his face burned in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry.”
For the first time in days, Yunho smiled, “It’s okay.” He idly ran his hand through Jaejoong’s hair before he turned away and picked up his chopsticks, “This looks good Jaejoong.”
“I told you I’d take care of you,” Jaejoong said with a smile as he added more meat onto Yunho’s plate, “It’s the least I can do, seeing as I’m unemployed.”
Yunho nudged with his elbow, “You know I don’t mind you living with me like this. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a job eventually,” he said as he chewed, “With your skills, I am absolutely sure someone will -“
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose, “My father offered to find me another job when he called me again this morning, but I said no,” he picked up a slice of meat and stared at it as he thought for a few seconds, “I want to find a job on my own.”
Yunho glanced at him, “You’re talking to your father again?”
“Kind of…” Jaejoong replied. He swallowed and look at Yunho, “Well, it just started last night really. Apparently he’s been fixing things with Sohyun, so he decided to give me a call in an attempt to mend fences.”
“You’re okay with that?”
Jaejoong thought carefully and looked at Yunho, “Well…I don’t think things will be fixed immediately, but it’s worth a shot.” He glanced down at his plate, “I mean, it’s better than ignoring him…he’s a long shot from a perfect parent, but in some ways, I understand him a bit. To be honest, I thought the only reason he called me was because he was dying.”
Jaejoong laughed softly, and he looked at Yunho to see his reaction. Yunho smiled at him supportively and reached out to squeeze Jaejoong’s wrist, “I’m happy for you. You’re a good person, and you deserve -“
“You’re a good person too Yunho,” Jaejoong replied, “You deserve happiness.”
Yunho’s smile widened and he squeezed Jaejoong’s wrist affectionately in response to his words, “After lunch, let’s go back, okay?”
Jaejoong wrinkled his nose and stared at Yunho in confusion, “Where?”
“My uncle’s grave,” Yunho spoke softly, “He told me that I’d find someone worthy of my love someday, and I think you’re that person. He was…he was a special person in my life. I want to bring you. I know he’s not really there, but in some way…I want you to meet him.”
Jaejoong felt tears prickle his eyes, and he smiled at Yunho, “Okay. We can go after lunch. Let’s buy flowers too.”
“Thank you for everything Jaejoong,” Yunho whispered as he turned to embrace Jaejoong tightly and held him close to his chest. “I don’t know what my life would be like without you.”
o-o-o
Jaejoong held the bouquet of flowers in his hands, and he trailed behind Yunho, maintaining a small distance between them. He watched as Yunho paused in front of the tombstone, and he slowly made his way over to Yunho’s side. He reached out to hold Yunho’s hand, and he squeezed it in comfort.
“She was here.”
“What -“
It was at that moment that Jaejoong noticed the fresh flowers on the tombstone. He knelt down to look at the bouquet, and he held the card between his fingers.
Thank you for taking care of him. I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to visit sooner.
Jaejoong felt Yunho’s hand on his back, and he turned to look at Yunho. He straightened up immediately when he saw that Yunho’s eyes were tearing up, and he embraced the taller man immediately.
“Don’t cry -“
“She was here,” Yunho said softly as he held onto Jaejoong tightly, “She visited him. I don’t want her visiting him -”
“Quiet Yunho, calm down and just breathe,” Jaejoong replied comfortingly as he rubbed Yunho’s back. He held onto the flowers tightly and pulled away so that he could hand them to Yunho. “You should place these next to the ones she brought.”
Yunho moved to the grave, and he knelt down to place the bouquet on top of the one that Yoonhee had brought. His hand was shaking when he reached out to look at the card, and after he glanced at it, he quickly withdrew his hand.
Jaejoong knelt down next to Yunho and bowed in front of the tombstone before he reached out to touch it, “Thank you for taking care of Yunho,” he said softly, “Thank you so much.”
Yunho gasped for breath, and Jaejoong look at him in concern, “He always told me to stop being angry,” he spoke, his voice shaking, “He told me that I should forgive them for not understanding, but I couldn’t. It hurt too much. He told me that I should live without anger in my heart, but…even until today, I don’t know if I can. I’m disappointing him by lingering so long with it in my heart -”
Jaejoong reached out to hug Yunho, “Yunho, it takes time -“
“How much time? It’s been years,” Yunho questioned, the tears still streaming down his eyes, “Did you know Jaejoong? My parents are dead, but I still can’t forgive them, and I don’t think I ever will.”
Jaejoong’s heart clenched tightly in his chest, “Yunho, you still have -“
“My uncle lost his family because of a drunk driver,” Yunho whispered, his eyes focused on his hands, “His wife was driving and the drunk driver crashed into their car, killing my uncle’s wife and children. The man survived, and you know what?”
Yunho took in a deep breath, and tears escaped his eyes, “He forgave the man. I know it’s different from what happened to me, but still - that man took his entire family away, but he still forgave him. Why can’t, why can’t I do the same?”
Jaejoong held Yunho closely, “Forgiveness isn’t earned immediately, it takes time Yunho. It’s different for everyone,” he cupped Yunho’s face and brushed away his tears, hoping that Yunho would calm down, “You’ll be able to forgive them someday…or maybe, at least, you’ll be able to get rid of all the anger you feel. You can’t just bottle it up, you need to let go of it.”
Yunho buried his face into Jaejoong’s shoulder, and Jaejoong whispered soothing words as he held Yunho tightly. He shushed Yunho and held him calmly, gently easing his frustrations and soothing his heart.
“I know you can do it Yunho,” Jaejoong murmured as Yunho began to calm down and stopped crying, “I have faith in you. I’d be willing to do anything for you, and I know you’ll be able to move on.”
He held Yunho tightly, “You’ll get through this,” Jaejoong whispered, confident of his words and confident that Yunho would someday find the peace that his heart so desperately needed.
< > Author’s Note: The end is near! XD Two chapters left~ <3 Expect two updates sometime very soon - one of them being my first ever MinChun fic! XDDD