I've been on Google for hours now searching for everything within the realms of male crossdressing, victorian era and civil war as well as everything in between it seems and I'm still not getting a very good idea of what I'm looking for
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http://coilhouse.net/2008/03/mr-pearl-on-corsetry-technology-and-posession/
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and 1860's a "real lady" had to have pale, dainty hands [I remember Scarlett's sisters crying about damaging theirs because of cotton-picking in 'Gone with the Wind'] and since men's hands are usually broader and bigger, maybe he could wear gloves too.
as for shoulders, it seems like shawls were in-style then, so maybe these? capes weren't practical with hoop dresses.
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Pale, check. He's very thin/lean so he has never long/thin fingers as well. But I always work in gloves regardless because I love them. And the shoulder-length shawls that I think you're talking about I've always heard referred to as capes, but that's just a semantic thing so yes! I hadn't thought about the chokers/collars though so thank you for that! :D
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here are some pics:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8d/Racinet-regency-empire-shawls-1888.jpg - shawl
http://i53.tinypic.com/dfhah5.jpg - capelet
as for the choker/collar thing, this guy does that pretty well -- http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/12778387/HIZAKI+grace+project.png
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16700000/Hizaki-hizaki-16784732-500-511.jpg
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You're wonderful <3
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http://www.thegracefullady.com/civilwargowns/cdvs_winterwear.htm
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