A life worthy of the call..
Yeah so I just woke up a little bit ago..I’m so weak I can barely even get up and walk. So this new medicine is supposed to help me get a full nyts rest but it just makes me feel like I have a hangover in the morning, I’m sooo out of it. Almost like overdosing on Nyquil or something like that lol. Anyways theres only 4 more days of normal classes left..I really need to go to school for some of them..really bad. And I really need to get all my 4th quarter homework done, I barely have started so I definitely have a lot to catch up on. Its so hard tho, like no one gets that..my parents are constantly like Christi get to work on your homework. But I CANNOT focus…I do like one thing and then I’m just exhausted and cant do the rest. If I cant even do simple homework and concentrate for 10 min, um my finals are definitely gonna be a zero all around. Not to mention the ACT I have to take this summer..but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I don’t even care anymore if I have to be homeschooled next year and don’t pass this semester. It doesn’t even matter to me anymore, I just want to be done with these next few weeks. Sorry, I had to get that out…
I dunno its like a constant battle tho. I mean I know its always been like that but I’ve never realized it so much until this thing came around. Like we are constantly having to choose and make decisions. You don’t really realize it all that much, but like in Chemistry every action has a reaction. Every single thing we do, affects something or someone else. And you can choose to make your life better, or keep slipping further and further away. But we’re constantly battling with sin. Theres never gonna be a day when you’re not gonna wrestle with it. I don’t know its pretty overwhelming to me. Like God is so Holy and Mighty and we’re these little undeserving people. Yet because of his amaing love and grace He chose to give up all that He loved so He might gain our love. Its just crazy to me, like I’m so overwhelmed and in awe and just want to give Him all of my life becuz he deserves ALL OF US. But yet its so hard sometimes, to live every day of your life for God. Because we’re a Christian we need to live a life worthy of the call. Yet our very best wont even come close to matching what that is. We cant do it on our own. I just keep trying to remind myself of the fact that Gods strength is made perfect in our weakness. So in actuality, its good when we realize the fact that we’re so far off and just surrender everything to God.
“When you're lost and all alone, I will be your sure way home. When your left out in the cold, I will be your shelter from the storm. When you're clouded by your doubts, You're surrounded and there's no other way out. I will be all that you need And I'm here for the asking Let me be your everything Let me be your everything. Look at all that I will bring In exchange for what you have. Bring your sorrow bring your shame All your suffering and your pain. Don't you know the price is paid If only you'll let me be Let me be your everything. When you're wandering in the darkness, I will be the light that guides you. And when death is standing at your doorway, I will be the life inside you. When you face your deepest fears, When you can't see thru all the tears, I will stay throughout the years. So patiently waiting, Hear me saying, Neither height or depth, nor life or death. The angels above or the demons beneath the sea Could ever separate you from The love in me, so won't you let me be your everything”