It's Mourning Time Again
Foster kitty is all better. Based on the request, the shelter only needed someone to care for him until his stitches came out. I took him in last week to have the stitches removed but very nonchalantly waited for him to be done with the vet and took him back home. During the wait one of the attendants asked how long I had him for and I explained that he still had a couple days of medicine and his scabby paws could use a little more time so I thought I'd bring him back on Monday. No concerns were raised.
That's the thing, nobody has ever called me up and said "relinquish the cat!" so I can fudge the return date a little bit.
He's still not over his skittishness. He will get up on the couch or bed but runs if I take any notice of him in these places. He started to play after 4-5 days and now he can't get enough--he's constantly giving me the kitty kat eyes, asking me to play with him. (Cats are truly the most adorable predators.)http://www.flickr.com/photos/12535575@N03/3268591131/
Increasingly, he chooses to lay down near me even if he won't actually sleep with me or sit on the couch with me.
There's the rub. I want him to relax and learn to trust humans again but I don't want him to get so comfortable that it's brutal to be torn away from his new home.
There he is, right now, laying on the couch. I want to pet him and praise him for being brave enough to settle there but I know if I go over, he will run away. Better to let him alone to enjoy the comforts of the couch without fear.
It's time. I know it's time to let him go.
I am still convinced that fostering is the right thing to do. This periodic pain is the price of doing what I think is right.
I'll get over it. I'll read the "I adopted a dog" thread and use each post about someone who adopted a shelter animal and loved it as a talisman. He will have a good life. Someone will take him home and love him for the rest of his life. He will be happy.