just give us sports
<3 Matt Cain! Edmonton South, good job! Nonetheless, I played SPORTS: A FEMINIST GAME during Game Six and was dismayed. It's a great game, it'll make you cry: work to one hundred points. You get 10 points for every female voice on the broadcast; we don't count male voices because a. it's fun to say that (HOW YOU LIKE IT NOW, Patriarchy?) and b. we ended up in the deep deep negative numbers and the math is hard to do down there. And what female voices were there? Oh, just a set of breasts and a toddler. That is the total of the female human experience.
I have been busy therefore imagining an AU of LADIES where pro sports are entirely played by women. Not only is it amazing, it boxes up all that shit about men being sufficiently tough and worthy of face-punches and massive salaries. Thought experiment: why don't males get to play sports? Aren't they deserving? Nope, and while there's deffo a stretch in the old imagination to think of "Adrian Peterson" as a signifier, and embodied by a female person, a term like "Leo Messi" takes zero thinking. Still want to knife someone. I just wish that being female didn't create such aggression. Okay, it's probable that this state doesn't create aggression in everyone. POSSIBLY JUST ME?
[Scene: the other night over supper, with my mother, my brother [A], his friend, myself (B)]
A "I don't want to go to the (noted gay hangout) beach"
B "what, are you afraid you will catch The Gay?"
long pause, while B considers quite what was so insulting about that comment, the friends of A and B who would hate B, the way in which even the present limited state of respect will evaporate for B.
B, savagely: "they wouldn't even have you."
It is not quite as good as the solid week of humor we got out of the Old Manse with my cousin the Communist and my brother the Fascist and my other cousin the Anarchist and my mother the Capitalist and my aunt the Socialist and my uncle and his best friend the Tribalists and myself the Anti-Monarchist. What we got done in that week: cleared out my birthday liquor, did a lot of laundry, yelled about Spain. But the other night was pretty good, especially since we got to talking about shock and "The Avengers." This almost made for a disappointment when my mother and I went out for a two-hundred-dollar dinner (we weren't paying, but I saw the bill; it was really fucking enjoyable otherwise) since we never even got to arguing over the Principles of Political Economy.
It's a lofty life I lead. Why yes I am still underemployed.
I have been busy therefore imagining an AU of LADIES where pro sports are entirely played by women. Not only is it amazing, it boxes up all that shit about men being sufficiently tough and worthy of face-punches and massive salaries. Thought experiment: why don't males get to play sports? Aren't they deserving? Nope, and while there's deffo a stretch in the old imagination to think of "Adrian Peterson" as a signifier, and embodied by a female person, a term like "Leo Messi" takes zero thinking. Still want to knife someone. I just wish that being female didn't create such aggression. Okay, it's probable that this state doesn't create aggression in everyone. POSSIBLY JUST ME?
[Scene: the other night over supper, with my mother, my brother [A], his friend, myself (B)]
A "I don't want to go to the (noted gay hangout) beach"
B "what, are you afraid you will catch The Gay?"
long pause, while B considers quite what was so insulting about that comment, the friends of A and B who would hate B, the way in which even the present limited state of respect will evaporate for B.
B, savagely: "they wouldn't even have you."
It is not quite as good as the solid week of humor we got out of the Old Manse with my cousin the Communist and my brother the Fascist and my other cousin the Anarchist and my mother the Capitalist and my aunt the Socialist and my uncle and his best friend the Tribalists and myself the Anti-Monarchist. What we got done in that week: cleared out my birthday liquor, did a lot of laundry, yelled about Spain. But the other night was pretty good, especially since we got to talking about shock and "The Avengers." This almost made for a disappointment when my mother and I went out for a two-hundred-dollar dinner (we weren't paying, but I saw the bill; it was really fucking enjoyable otherwise) since we never even got to arguing over the Principles of Political Economy.
It's a lofty life I lead. Why yes I am still underemployed.