i'll never taaaaaaalk agaaaainnn
I WANT TO SLEEP FOREVER. DREAMS, I CAN'T EVEN.
→ I was out in a hallway with a friend and someone hunted me down and was all, "JSYK, Lisa Edelstein is speaking with Richard Dawkins (lol wtf) in there. Thought you might be interested." SO I RUN INTO THE AUDITORIUM, and there are open seats right in front. I can't believe my luck. I go get my camera, come back, seats are still open, front center, third row. And she walks on and she's wearing white and waving and I am taking SUCH pretty pictures, FUCK I WISH THEY WERE REAL. So she/they talked, I don't even remember, and then she started taking questions. And I love how my subconscious connects dream!world with real!world, because I had no idea what to ask her, I was so dumbfounded, UNTIL I remembered that IRL, I keep a list of questions/things I'd say to her if I ever met her. So I pulled one of those and put my hand up and I was so nervous and swallowing like a million times because IRL I don't mind speaking in public, but I still get some odd paranoia about choking on my own spit or something? Yeah. It's nothing new. But anyway. Then she's all, "One more.... *looks around*" and then calls on me. I hit record on my camera and I said, "What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? And who was it from? ... You don't even have to be specific, you can just be like 'a teacher' or 'a friend'..." She thought about it for a second before saying something SO sad about how she doesn't take that stuff seriously because even today, in spite of it, she doesn't feel like she's good enough. She almost started to cry. I didn't even get it. Like, fuck, I am so sorry. IDK. She left and was all happy and wave-y at us and I looked at my photos and died a million times over.
THEN, she was just like, hanging out outside. And one of you, I honestly don't remember who, was like, "I need to hug you, okay" and just sort of hugged her and climbed on her and she was just like... um... lol. It was cute though. And then we were just sitting on the floor talking to her. Then we were on my grandma's couch and she was like, "I need to have a talk with you and your dad about that - I have stuff to say!" and I was like, "OMG HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS ISSUE" and she looks up at the ceiling and goes, "Um, your livejournal, duh!" And then I fucking freaked out because I'm sure I've written stuff on here that I wouldn't want Lisa to read. Not about HER, but about other embarrassing/stupid things about my life that would make me seem uncool.
THEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK, BUT SHE WENT UP TO GIVE ANOTHER SPEECH EXCEPT IT WAS A STAGE AND SHE WAS LEGIT DANCING AND I GOT A PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT SHOT OF HER DOING A BACK-ATTITUDE IN HER FLOWY RED DRESS AND I WISH IT WAS REAL BUT IT'S NOT SO I HOPE I REMEMBER IT FOREVER. NOTE TO SELF: UPSTAGE, RIGHT, FACING THE BACK, BLUE LIGHTING.
→ then I was in a play or something. I remember being all dressed up at a pool and filming stuff. I remember after we finished this, they made a Broadway version of this film, except telling it from the other POV, telling it from what happened IN the hospital (?) or whatever. There was food and ice cream and I think moar Lisa but I'm not sure, there was like a huge banquet hall outside with confetti on the tables and more filming. Then I we in a parking lot and checking my email on this horse I had when I was little. It had a huge red wheel on the bottom and you could slide it on the kitchen floor. So I guess the modified version of that is one with a tiny-ass computer screen in the head of it, I had to look down through it like a microscope to read my email. I had one from Matt entitled, "Fuck. She asked me about alcohol..." And IDR really what it said, but I remember that it ended with a gif of himself.
→ ADAM. ADAM LAMBERT. I was stuck in traffic and it was snowing and he and Kris Allen were running on the road, saying hi to people in cars! It was the sweetest thing ever!! And I rolled my window down and he came up to it and right when he did, POLICE SIRENS WENT OFF. THE LIGHTS WERE REFLECTING ON HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE. I was like, "OKAY. FUCK. CAN I AT LEAST GET A KISS SINCE I'M ABOUT TO GET IN HUGE TROUBLE FOR THIS?!" AND HE GAVE ME A KISS THROUGH MY OPEN WINDOW. SDLKJFHJHSAF. I DIDN'T EVEN CARE THAT I GOT A TICKET. Oh my god and then I was driving home, and I was eating this DISGUSTING Poptart - my sister had bought a "~Mystery Pack~" of Poptarts and I ate one and it was SOUR and WEIRD and it hurt my mouth, even, because it was so sour and strange. I remember deciding in the dream that its flavor was "Sour Apple Wood." lol. Because it also tasted a little like wood. But was mostly apple. SO ANYWAY, I'M EATING THAT, and driving home, and Kris Allen is running after my car bitching about this so I start throwing Poptart hunks at him, yelling about how if cops are going to give out tickets for "being disruptive in public", that THEY should be the ones getting them, not the innocent drivers. Poptart hunk grew tentacles and engulfed his face. He shut up.
I got home and Speechless was blasting over my life and I remember putting on a dramatic show all over the snow-ridden cars in my driveway. I also remember putting my head on the trunk of the car and sliding down and then there was snow stuck to my forehead.
→ I was out in a hallway with a friend and someone hunted me down and was all, "JSYK, Lisa Edelstein is speaking with Richard Dawkins (lol wtf) in there. Thought you might be interested." SO I RUN INTO THE AUDITORIUM, and there are open seats right in front. I can't believe my luck. I go get my camera, come back, seats are still open, front center, third row. And she walks on and she's wearing white and waving and I am taking SUCH pretty pictures, FUCK I WISH THEY WERE REAL. So she/they talked, I don't even remember, and then she started taking questions. And I love how my subconscious connects dream!world with real!world, because I had no idea what to ask her, I was so dumbfounded, UNTIL I remembered that IRL, I keep a list of questions/things I'd say to her if I ever met her. So I pulled one of those and put my hand up and I was so nervous and swallowing like a million times because IRL I don't mind speaking in public, but I still get some odd paranoia about choking on my own spit or something? Yeah. It's nothing new. But anyway. Then she's all, "One more.... *looks around*" and then calls on me. I hit record on my camera and I said, "What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? And who was it from? ... You don't even have to be specific, you can just be like 'a teacher' or 'a friend'..." She thought about it for a second before saying something SO sad about how she doesn't take that stuff seriously because even today, in spite of it, she doesn't feel like she's good enough. She almost started to cry. I didn't even get it. Like, fuck, I am so sorry. IDK. She left and was all happy and wave-y at us and I looked at my photos and died a million times over.
THEN, she was just like, hanging out outside. And one of you, I honestly don't remember who, was like, "I need to hug you, okay" and just sort of hugged her and climbed on her and she was just like... um... lol. It was cute though. And then we were just sitting on the floor talking to her. Then we were on my grandma's couch and she was like, "I need to have a talk with you and your dad about that - I have stuff to say!" and I was like, "OMG HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS ISSUE" and she looks up at the ceiling and goes, "Um, your livejournal, duh!" And then I fucking freaked out because I'm sure I've written stuff on here that I wouldn't want Lisa to read. Not about HER, but about other embarrassing/stupid things about my life that would make me seem uncool.
THEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK, BUT SHE WENT UP TO GIVE ANOTHER SPEECH EXCEPT IT WAS A STAGE AND SHE WAS LEGIT DANCING AND I GOT A PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT SHOT OF HER DOING A BACK-ATTITUDE IN HER FLOWY RED DRESS AND I WISH IT WAS REAL BUT IT'S NOT SO I HOPE I REMEMBER IT FOREVER. NOTE TO SELF: UPSTAGE, RIGHT, FACING THE BACK, BLUE LIGHTING.
→ then I was in a play or something. I remember being all dressed up at a pool and filming stuff. I remember after we finished this, they made a Broadway version of this film, except telling it from the other POV, telling it from what happened IN the hospital (?) or whatever. There was food and ice cream and I think moar Lisa but I'm not sure, there was like a huge banquet hall outside with confetti on the tables and more filming. Then I we in a parking lot and checking my email on this horse I had when I was little. It had a huge red wheel on the bottom and you could slide it on the kitchen floor. So I guess the modified version of that is one with a tiny-ass computer screen in the head of it, I had to look down through it like a microscope to read my email. I had one from Matt entitled, "Fuck. She asked me about alcohol..." And IDR really what it said, but I remember that it ended with a gif of himself.
→ ADAM. ADAM LAMBERT. I was stuck in traffic and it was snowing and he and Kris Allen were running on the road, saying hi to people in cars! It was the sweetest thing ever!! And I rolled my window down and he came up to it and right when he did, POLICE SIRENS WENT OFF. THE LIGHTS WERE REFLECTING ON HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE. I was like, "OKAY. FUCK. CAN I AT LEAST GET A KISS SINCE I'M ABOUT TO GET IN HUGE TROUBLE FOR THIS?!" AND HE GAVE ME A KISS THROUGH MY OPEN WINDOW. SDLKJFHJHSAF. I DIDN'T EVEN CARE THAT I GOT A TICKET. Oh my god and then I was driving home, and I was eating this DISGUSTING Poptart - my sister had bought a "~Mystery Pack~" of Poptarts and I ate one and it was SOUR and WEIRD and it hurt my mouth, even, because it was so sour and strange. I remember deciding in the dream that its flavor was "Sour Apple Wood." lol. Because it also tasted a little like wood. But was mostly apple. SO ANYWAY, I'M EATING THAT, and driving home, and Kris Allen is running after my car bitching about this so I start throwing Poptart hunks at him, yelling about how if cops are going to give out tickets for "being disruptive in public", that THEY should be the ones getting them, not the innocent drivers. Poptart hunk grew tentacles and engulfed his face. He shut up.
I got home and Speechless was blasting over my life and I remember putting on a dramatic show all over the snow-ridden cars in my driveway. I also remember putting my head on the trunk of the car and sliding down and then there was snow stuck to my forehead.