(no subject)
CJ (my ex, for those of you new to the flist) found my youtube channel. Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? I agreed to go out to lunch with him, as friends. He even tried to pay for it and I wouldn't let him. But no, we're driving and he points to the sky and makes some comment about "Cloud 9" and I fucking have a panic attack because either he found my video or it was one hell of a coincidence. I looked at him and said, "WHAT." Yeah, he found it. I asked him how the fuck that even happened and "I was just randomly searching House stuff on youtube, and I saw Lissie and I didn't think you'd actually have your name in it" and I said "that's not my name." He clicked on it and then saw my XF2: Wait for the Movie video with my actual face on it so he knew it was mine. I died a thousand deaths. Although I suppose it doesn't matter anymore, what the fuck ever. But I don't buy that he was just "randomly searching House MD" after we broke up, especially since he only got up to 1x13 or some shit. I think he'd been looking for it for a long time.
I'm glad I went out with him today, though. I am so over it all and I am so fucking happy that I broke up with him, I cannot even explain. All of the issues that bothered me before are still there and I saw them all again, right in front of my face, and I just felt so validated and god, I'm like high as hell. I felt absolutely nothing, in any way, and it is SO awesome and empowering. God.
I dreamt last night that I was at the dentist and they were trying to make me drink a shake made out of fruit and cocaine and the second I started drinking it, my left arm went numb and it freaked me out at how instantaneous it was. I woke up with my arms all tangled around myself and yes my left arm was asleep. It was so weird. I also remember breaking through some sort of fence and I also remember Adam being there.
carolune04!! I got the Celine magazine! OH my god, bb!! It is perfect! I nearly teared up because she's dancing so much all over the place. Thank you. So much. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I have so many papers to write this week, LOL. I also have a meeting with Donaho tomorrow to outline my private logic curriculum. I am so excited.
I just got yelled at for putting pasta sauce in the cupboard instead of the fridge. fail.
I'm glad I went out with him today, though. I am so over it all and I am so fucking happy that I broke up with him, I cannot even explain. All of the issues that bothered me before are still there and I saw them all again, right in front of my face, and I just felt so validated and god, I'm like high as hell. I felt absolutely nothing, in any way, and it is SO awesome and empowering. God.
I dreamt last night that I was at the dentist and they were trying to make me drink a shake made out of fruit and cocaine and the second I started drinking it, my left arm went numb and it freaked me out at how instantaneous it was. I woke up with my arms all tangled around myself and yes my left arm was asleep. It was so weird. I also remember breaking through some sort of fence and I also remember Adam being there.
carolune04!! I got the Celine magazine! OH my god, bb!! It is perfect! I nearly teared up because she's dancing so much all over the place. Thank you. So much. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I have so many papers to write this week, LOL. I also have a meeting with Donaho tomorrow to outline my private logic curriculum. I am so excited.
I just got yelled at for putting pasta sauce in the cupboard instead of the fridge. fail.